It is interesting some of the classes I am taking for counseling in family marriage. Last month I held a men’s seminar and spoke about men and David’s mid-life crises. Men need to learn how to be fathers and husbands. Father’s to step up in taking care of their children and husbands to their wives in a manner worthy to God’s calling.
If a father is constant and maintains his faith 93% of the families will follow the father. However, with no father only 43% of women and children will attend, if the mother is faithful. Amazing if a father shows love towards his children, they will follow. A man needs to build his relationship with the Heavenly Father and set good examples for their children.
Several years ago I was working for a company and drove a truck. On the job I had accidently backed up into a residential mailbox. Boy was I embarrassed. I spoke with the lady and gave her my cell phone number and reassured her I would be back out on Saturday and will personally replace her mailbox. She gladly accepted.
I drove to Lowes and bought the better mailbox than what she had before. I also bought the tools and other pieces of equipment I would need to make the mailbox look good. That Saturday morning I dropped daughter off at a friend’s house and my son and I drove to where I broke the mailbox.
He looked at me and asked where we were going and I explained to him what I was going to do. He asked why I would want to do that. I said because when we make mistakes we need to own up to them and take responsibility. If we have broken something we need to replace it as equal as or better than what that person had and to ask for forgiveness. We got there and he helped me to replace the mailbox. When the homeowner got home and called me she was more than happy with the results.
My son and I bonded and learned how to stand up and make things right. There are several key things in which I think fathers need to express and to teach their children.
They are:
1. Mentor. A father can be a parent but to be a mentor is a step farther. It is okay to set rules and make sure your kids follow the right things. To be a mentor is being a role model that does what they explain. This means to make sure your children watch you living consistently what you teach. Not to be saying and doing something different from what you explain. Mentoring means not listening to music which is not appropriate and then ensuring your children are doing the same. They won’t follow someone who does one thing and doesn’t follow their own advice. That is why I enjoy Christian music. They can’t refute what I listen too. I find teaching moments when I can and help them understand their environment around them.
2. Praying. Your kids need to hear you lead prayers. Not just lead them, but to pray with them. When they have a rough day at school, pray with them and pray about a situation at work, but also you need to be discrete in your prayers. Remember, children are children, and don’t need adult information. Fathers need to be praying with the mothers, so that the children will learn how to communicate effectively with others, as well as the Heavenly Father.
3. Service. Children need to see you give. Not toys or something for them or for your family. Allow your children to see you serving others, so our children understand it’s not about them, but what we do for others is important. Two commands Jesus gave and the commands we are to carry out is to love others first. It is important to reach out into our communities. Help our neighbors. My son enjoys helping me do the lawn and then helping our next door neighbor with his lawn.
4. Reading. Teach your children to spend some alone time in peace and quite. Share with them and teach them the simple stories in the bible. Daniel and the Lions den is a good example. Teach them no matter if they are in trouble, that God will see them through it as long as we have faith in trust. Show them how to read and understand the message about forgiving, serving and loving one another. Have them read stories which inspire the imagination like the Chronicles of Narnia.
5. Family time. We have once a week family time. We call together a family meeting and we discuss how our families have been in the past week. Talk about school and how things are going. Learning about their friends and discussing problems which may happen in school or within our own family. We allow them to plan events or trips like going to the zoo. Things they would like to eat this week and children love to feel important and inviting them into your world, opens a door of communication. Play Nintendo or board games with them. Go on a family camping trip or to the zoo.
6. Cry. Joy. Don’t be afraid to shed a tear. Fireproof was a tear jerking movie. My wife knows I am sensitive. Watching a movie with the kids they can see my sensitive side and the laughter when we watch Ms Doubtfire. Don’t be afraid as a father to share your emotions. Don’t ever be angry in a form which is not conducive to biblical teaching. Laugh when they make funny jokes.
7. Truth. Always be truthful with your kids. If they ask, are you Santa Clause, well don’t lie about it. Be honest and just say, yes. Ask them in shock, how did you know and how bright you are for finding me out. When we lie we teach our children to lie. Always be truthful and be on their level.
8. Going to Worship. Going to worship is critical for children. They need to see a father worshiping the creator. They need to understand Jesus and what He has done for all mankind. However, when leaving worship don’t let yourself be in a hypocritical state. If you praise God on Sunday, don’t be on the highway cussing the man out that cut you off. Allow them to see you’re trying to give praise and thanks for all that God has done and blessed you in the family.
9. Relationships. Teach your children on how to build loving and lasting relationships. If you don’t treat your wife in such a way your prayers are hindered. Father’s must see the loving touch and careful words he uses with his spouse. Teach your children on appropriate ways to discuss and handle arguments or disagreements in a healthy manner. Get to know your children. Learn what they like and dislike. Do you know their favorite colors, movies or places they enjoy eating out? Teach them your relationships when you go to the store. Be friendly to the cashier. How you speak to someone on the phone. How you deal with difficult people. Teach them skills on how to work through difficult relationships.
10. Love. Love is the hardest to achieve. Also show your children you love them. Not buying them things but showing you love them. Writing love notes or emails, and let them know before they go to bed and when they start out their day. You never know when it is your last day on earth will be. It’s important to touch your children. Hug them. Tuck them in at night. Love is being tough, but also showing mercy. When you show love they will love you back even when they don’t express it back. Always forgive them and never turn your back on them no matter what they have done.
Be a father. Read how Jesus related to His Father and bear fruit in the relationships you have with your children. They are the fruit of your loins. Treat them with respect. Get to their level and talk eye to eye. They will respect you if you give them a chance to express your love. I still enjoy those homemade cards. The Father loves us now be uplifted and uplift your children. Nothing better in knowing our Father will bless us in our families if we do what is right.
If a father is constant and maintains his faith 93% of the families will follow the father. However, with no father only 43% of women and children will attend, if the mother is faithful. Amazing if a father shows love towards his children, they will follow. A man needs to build his relationship with the Heavenly Father and set good examples for their children.
Several years ago I was working for a company and drove a truck. On the job I had accidently backed up into a residential mailbox. Boy was I embarrassed. I spoke with the lady and gave her my cell phone number and reassured her I would be back out on Saturday and will personally replace her mailbox. She gladly accepted.
I drove to Lowes and bought the better mailbox than what she had before. I also bought the tools and other pieces of equipment I would need to make the mailbox look good. That Saturday morning I dropped daughter off at a friend’s house and my son and I drove to where I broke the mailbox.
He looked at me and asked where we were going and I explained to him what I was going to do. He asked why I would want to do that. I said because when we make mistakes we need to own up to them and take responsibility. If we have broken something we need to replace it as equal as or better than what that person had and to ask for forgiveness. We got there and he helped me to replace the mailbox. When the homeowner got home and called me she was more than happy with the results.
My son and I bonded and learned how to stand up and make things right. There are several key things in which I think fathers need to express and to teach their children.
They are:
1. Mentor. A father can be a parent but to be a mentor is a step farther. It is okay to set rules and make sure your kids follow the right things. To be a mentor is being a role model that does what they explain. This means to make sure your children watch you living consistently what you teach. Not to be saying and doing something different from what you explain. Mentoring means not listening to music which is not appropriate and then ensuring your children are doing the same. They won’t follow someone who does one thing and doesn’t follow their own advice. That is why I enjoy Christian music. They can’t refute what I listen too. I find teaching moments when I can and help them understand their environment around them.
2. Praying. Your kids need to hear you lead prayers. Not just lead them, but to pray with them. When they have a rough day at school, pray with them and pray about a situation at work, but also you need to be discrete in your prayers. Remember, children are children, and don’t need adult information. Fathers need to be praying with the mothers, so that the children will learn how to communicate effectively with others, as well as the Heavenly Father.
3. Service. Children need to see you give. Not toys or something for them or for your family. Allow your children to see you serving others, so our children understand it’s not about them, but what we do for others is important. Two commands Jesus gave and the commands we are to carry out is to love others first. It is important to reach out into our communities. Help our neighbors. My son enjoys helping me do the lawn and then helping our next door neighbor with his lawn.
4. Reading. Teach your children to spend some alone time in peace and quite. Share with them and teach them the simple stories in the bible. Daniel and the Lions den is a good example. Teach them no matter if they are in trouble, that God will see them through it as long as we have faith in trust. Show them how to read and understand the message about forgiving, serving and loving one another. Have them read stories which inspire the imagination like the Chronicles of Narnia.
5. Family time. We have once a week family time. We call together a family meeting and we discuss how our families have been in the past week. Talk about school and how things are going. Learning about their friends and discussing problems which may happen in school or within our own family. We allow them to plan events or trips like going to the zoo. Things they would like to eat this week and children love to feel important and inviting them into your world, opens a door of communication. Play Nintendo or board games with them. Go on a family camping trip or to the zoo.
6. Cry. Joy. Don’t be afraid to shed a tear. Fireproof was a tear jerking movie. My wife knows I am sensitive. Watching a movie with the kids they can see my sensitive side and the laughter when we watch Ms Doubtfire. Don’t be afraid as a father to share your emotions. Don’t ever be angry in a form which is not conducive to biblical teaching. Laugh when they make funny jokes.
7. Truth. Always be truthful with your kids. If they ask, are you Santa Clause, well don’t lie about it. Be honest and just say, yes. Ask them in shock, how did you know and how bright you are for finding me out. When we lie we teach our children to lie. Always be truthful and be on their level.
8. Going to Worship. Going to worship is critical for children. They need to see a father worshiping the creator. They need to understand Jesus and what He has done for all mankind. However, when leaving worship don’t let yourself be in a hypocritical state. If you praise God on Sunday, don’t be on the highway cussing the man out that cut you off. Allow them to see you’re trying to give praise and thanks for all that God has done and blessed you in the family.
9. Relationships. Teach your children on how to build loving and lasting relationships. If you don’t treat your wife in such a way your prayers are hindered. Father’s must see the loving touch and careful words he uses with his spouse. Teach your children on appropriate ways to discuss and handle arguments or disagreements in a healthy manner. Get to know your children. Learn what they like and dislike. Do you know their favorite colors, movies or places they enjoy eating out? Teach them your relationships when you go to the store. Be friendly to the cashier. How you speak to someone on the phone. How you deal with difficult people. Teach them skills on how to work through difficult relationships.
10. Love. Love is the hardest to achieve. Also show your children you love them. Not buying them things but showing you love them. Writing love notes or emails, and let them know before they go to bed and when they start out their day. You never know when it is your last day on earth will be. It’s important to touch your children. Hug them. Tuck them in at night. Love is being tough, but also showing mercy. When you show love they will love you back even when they don’t express it back. Always forgive them and never turn your back on them no matter what they have done.
Be a father. Read how Jesus related to His Father and bear fruit in the relationships you have with your children. They are the fruit of your loins. Treat them with respect. Get to their level and talk eye to eye. They will respect you if you give them a chance to express your love. I still enjoy those homemade cards. The Father loves us now be uplifted and uplift your children. Nothing better in knowing our Father will bless us in our families if we do what is right.
Click on the title Parenting part two and it will download David Mid-life crises seminar.
