Hurtful words are like harsh nails, which penetrate boards; can you forgive hurtful words? Lies are poisonous arrows, which pierce the heart; can you forgive the betrayal? Divorce is an ugly circumstance like tarry pits; can you forgive your ex spouse? A life, like vapor dissipates and never to reappear, can you forgive the murderer? Whatever the destruction to the human spirit maybe; can there be forgiveness?
There is a misconception about forgiveness. Mankind in all its human frailty cannot provide a definition or even provide the answer to what forgiveness encompasses. We must go to the source and as well as to the truth of where it began; God’s Word.
Why did Peter ask, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"(Matthew 18:21). Remember, Peter was a Jew and was accustomed to the laws of Moses. Where does the concept of seven stem from?
It stems from the way God asked for the atonement of the sins of Israel, " The Lord said to Moses, "Say to the Israelites: 'When anyone sins unintentionally and does what is forbidden in any of the Lord’s commands- 'If the anointed priest sins, bringing guilt on the people, he must bring to the Lord a young bull without defect as a sin offering for the sin he has committed- He is to dip his finger into the blood and sprinkle some of it seven times before the Lord, in front of the curtain of the sanctuary.-- In this way the priest will make atonement for them, and they will be forgiven (Leviticus 4:1,3,6,20).
The Hebrew word for seven is “shevah” meaning to be full, satisfied or complete. Seven is a perfect number that represents completeness. It provides a stamp of perfection and wholeness. Aaron was to sprinkle blood seven times as a cleansing of Israel’s sins, for forgiveness, to be whole again to be perfected.
Jesus’ response to Peter’s old law question: “Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times” (Matthew 18:22). Jesus’ command was extended to seventy times seven because of the hearts of men wanting to hold on to guilty debts of other's sins. This is why Jesus went on to explain in a parable to release the debt.
Corrie Ten Boom, a Christian woman who survived a Nazi concentration camp during the Holocaust, said, "Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free, and to realize the prisoner was you." How does forgiveness come to mathematics of seventy times seven? We hold ourselves prisoners of our own guilt, hurt, anger, shame, and these are emotions, which hold us back from the only choice in doing the right choice and that is to forgive.
Why is forgiving someone the right choice? Jesus taught his disciples through prayer to forgive. “For if you forgive men when they sin against you; your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”(Matthew 6:14, 15, NIV). It is easy for someone to say forgive that person, but the hard part is choosing to do it. Can you afford the cost of holding yourself as a prisoner when the ransom has been paid on your behalf?
One will not be able to live in the physical and spiritual realm without offering forgiveness. If you do not forgive others, then there is no life with God spiritually. He forgave us of our sins, so we too should pay it forward to others, by forgiving them.
On the physical side, you do not live life to the fullest because not forgiving another person becomes a terrible mind cancer. This is why we are too, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:31–32, NIV).
Jesus knew the heart of men. This is the reason why he told Peter not seven times, but seventy times seven. Mankind harbors on negativity. It is sometimes hard to let loose the pain which easily entangles us. It is because forgiveness is more than just words; it is a change of heart. "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart” (Matthew 18:35).
Holding the past is the same as holding on to the debts that Christ spoke about in the parable. You have to let the debt go and God has provided a way to do this. How?
1. Prayer - Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. (Psalms 51:10). Like a pumpkin, let God clean out the hurt junk which exists on the inside.
2. Renew your mind - Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will (Romans 12:2). This takes practice in the self-talk that you will not hold the past against them, nor look at the person with discontent. Renewing the mind is getting rid of thoughts of malice or patterns of the world that wishes to do the opposite of forgiveness, and replacing it with a gift of forgiveness. This is where we captivate those thoughts in Christ, "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5)
3. Add to your faith -add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ (2 Peter 1:5-8). When we add to our faith that God will take care of the hurtful matters it will help us in becoming effective in the knowledge of Christ in His forgiveness in us, which makes it easier to forgive ourselves of our guilt and shame when we do wrong.
4. Yield to love - Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law (Romans 13:8). It is because, "love covers over a multitude of sins: (1 Peter 4:8).
5. Express harmony - live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble (1 Peter 3:8). Living in harmony means not to hold the past or to treat them in a revenge status and allowing God to handle the matters.
6. Reaffirm - Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him (2 Corinthians 2:6-8). Sometimes we have to reaffirm love for a person because often times you do not know how their own actions have affected them in their behavior towards you.
Notice how these steps spell out the main word: PRAYER? An unforgiving heart is a demon to the soul. Jesus said, “He replied, "This kind can come out only by prayer” (Mark 9:29). Sometimes forgiveness has to be worked out through prayer.
Forgiveness is not forgetting or diminishing the crime. God chooses not to remember. This is difficult for us to do and God doesn’t expect us to forget. He does expect to treat our relationship with that other person through a forgiving spirit meaning, we do not bring up the past or treat them as they “should” deserve. It is to release them of the obligation of the debt of sin caused against us.
Finally, sometimes we often do not know much at all about the offenders' intentions, motives, desires, and thoughts to confidently pass judgment on whether we can reasonably forgive them, and so the connection between understanding the offenders and forgiving them in the light of that understanding remains contentious. This example can be portrayed as, “Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34).
Forgiveness is not earned for it is a gift. Therefore, “live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing” (1 Peter 3:7-9). It is my prayer this lesson in forgiveness can provide you some peace. “May the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you” (2 Thessalonians 3:16).
