The Hobo Stew - Messy Relationships

“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” ― C.G. Jung

It was a challenge for me growing up in a military family.  It seemed we were always packing, moving, unpacking and then to begin the experience of exploring new realms of relationships. It is almost like the Star Trek theme: “Space the final frontier…..”.

Relationships can be challenging. In worship, we are going through the book of Acts. People’s lives can be messy. What I fear is some Christians forget this piece of it and judge others. I have been hit by those types of bullets of judgment by others. There are some who want to tear you down because they feel threatened by your confidence or special talents and gifts that they do not have. They judge you on your past and not on the present. I want to apologize on behalf of Christians who have judged you. 

Relationships are messy because of the complexities of backgrounds coming together with different perceptions and of opinions though insights they wish to contribute into the relationship. Think of relationships as Hobo Stew. It was named Hobo stew because of what the Hobos would do around the train yards. Hobos would bring in what they had in order to make a large meal for each other as they were hopping the trains and would stop along the way to have a meal and fellowship.  

In South Dakota on a weekend, I never forgotten the big black caldron and a boat oar. Everyone would come with a can of something and throw it into the caldron as it smoldered over the hot fire. The oar stirred all the contents together. The end result was Hobo Stew. 

We can nitpick at the ingredients and find enough bad in it that we refuse to eat it. We can nitpick at the ingredients and find enough good things we like and we eat it. People are the same way. We find the good or the bad and depending upon how we view people by our present views, we can either find enough good or bad to associate or disassociate from them. 

When you complain about someone who seems to hang out on the street corner begging for food, then look at yourself and remember the last time you complained about the food you didn’t want to eat. When you complain about how many times someone has been divorced or remarried, then look at your own self and see how many jobs you been through. Or personal relationships you have encountered and let go. 

There has to be healthy boundaries in your life in order to have the proper relationship. Second, you have to have a viewpoint of Hobo Stew. We all have variety of things which make use unique. Finally, instead of finding what is wrong about things, ask yourself what is right about those things. It will challenge your thinking and outlook when developing healthy relationships. Be careful of mixed messages you send. 

Mixed signals are similar to an experience I have had. A female person stated on her online dating profile she was looking for a man that was a Christian. We corresponded and when I asked about praying together in the relationship, she stopped texting. We can go into relationships with a shotgun approach or if we sit down with a defined purpose and truth of what we want, then we can use one bullet to target what we exactly want in a relationship.

 

“You can talk with someone for years, every day, and still, it won't mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever.... connections are made with the heart, not the tongue.” –C.Joybell C. 

Relationships are like hobo stew. Sometimes it has to be an acquired taste. However, having the mindset of knowing things can be messy will help you have a clean aspect of how to approach a new relationship. In the beginning, I don’t look at my patient’s chart because I want to see it from a different perspective and to allow the patient to provide insight as to whether or not they want true help. It allows a fresh perception and not a biased skew point in working with the individual.

Accepting a person for where they are in life and walking through them can change their view on life. Let’s stop being hobos and wandering aimlessly; but realize relationships are like hobo stew. You never know the outcome unless you sit down and taste it. There are some relationships you may or may not like. Everyone has skeletons in the closet, but it doesn’t mean we should treat others in a manner they are rejected. When we set aside our self and invest into the other individual, give it time to see if there is a return on the investment. Hobo stew is nourishing If you allow yourself to be in the mix.  

By F(orging) A(ttitude) I(n) T(rusting) H(im)