People who state they enjoy being alone are not what they profess. They are alone “because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.” -- Jodi Picoult
It is in scary movies. It is in our everyday life. Inquiring
minds want to know. One simple word entices it more; no. It rises
from the unknown grave and it is called curiosity. Curiosity can be the key
that open’s Pandora’s Box. Pandora is part of the Greek Mythology of a
beautiful bride that received a box from Zeus as a wedding gift. The box came
with a key and a note attached that read: “DO NOT OPEN.”
We have an expression in our culture… "curiosity kills the
cat". For some reason the untouchable
seems enticing to be touchable. Curiosity seems to get the best of us at times;
just like Pandora and her box. It began to eat at her like leprosy. She took
the key and she gave in. She opened the box.
Her actions unleashed tragic self-harm like guilt, shame and pain from mistakes and she closed the box.
“They
gave Pandora a box. Prometheus begged her not to open it. She opened it. Every
evil to which human flesh is heir came out of it. The last thing to come out of
the box was hope. It flew away.” ― Kurt Vonnegut, Timequake
I had worked
at Kmart as a manager, when I was laid off in 2001. It was an overwhelming responsibility to have five managers
under you and employees that looked to you for your leadership. It was my turn
to manage the store and I happened to be walking through the store and noticed
a small boy about the age of 10.
I was curious and observed him from a distance
as he was contemplating, then looking both ways he hid something under his
shirt. Walking over to him, he noticed I was very tall, and he had a scared
look on his face. “Where are your parents?”, I asked. Replying in a shaken
voice, “I am here with my grandmother.” As soon as he replied his grandmother
came around the corner. I began to talk and ……..
See curiosity pulls us in. I bet your wondering what I did next and how it ended. You could stop reading, but would you know the ending? Maybe ... I won’t tell you and maybe... I will tell you at the end of this blog in order for you to capture the essence of what I am trying to convey.
Remain curious about who you are. Push yourself to do
things outside the box. To develop healthy relationships you have to release
the hope that is still trapped in your Pandora Box. Hope will heal the
unleashed “tragedies” within your life. Face life with joy and don't hide behind the curtain of hurt.
“Love is a panda in Pandora’s box. But don’t
open it, because it took me forever to get it inside.” ― Jarod Kintz, Love
quotes for the ages. And the ageless sages.
You don’t want
to move into a new relationship because you are afraid of getting hurt. You don’t
want to change because you are afraid of being hurt. You don’t want to go to
somewhere new because you are afraid of being judged and people will treat you
differently. You don’t want to go to church because they will look down on you.
You have trapped all these memories in your own “Pandora
Box”, but you haven’t unleashed hope. Place healthy boundaries of hope in your
life, so that you can live life to the fullest and without the fear of being
hurt. This is the “oven mitten” you place on your emotional state from getting
burnt.
First, take a couple of steps back and evaluate the
situation. Are you upset because you have been taken advantage of? Use hope and figure out maybe it is an old
thought pattern that has chained you to think the worse. Decide if this new
situation has merit and maybe you were not taken advantage of because your expectation
wasn’t met.
Second, list ways to release negative feelings you have
by writing them out. Kill irrational thoughts and which thoughts are over
reactions due to past experiences. Can you take a baby step and at least test
the waters? It may not be as bad as you once thought. Give hope a chance.
Finally, look to see if you have repetitious patterns. Are
you in the same type of relationship repeating patterns of unhealthy cycles? Is
it impacting your self-esteem, your mood and well-being? Patterns can be
learned in childhood and you can break the cycle and manage this compulsive
behavior. No wonder you become afraid of getting hurt. It wasn’t them, it was
you and the choices you were making were self-harming. It stopped you from living the life that Christ called you to live.
"For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you."-- Isaiah 41:13
Acknowledge there will be challenges in your negative thoughts
that could reappear. For women it may look like frustration because you are getting
dressed to go out to dinner and you do not like how you are looking in the
mirror. Step back. Look at the situation. Have you been hurt in the past because someone said something about your looks? Second, change your thoughts to a positive thought: “I am beating myself up because I am nervous due to past experiences.”
Finally, acknowledge your thoughts and don’t fight them. Time to take control
over your mind and relax and develop the confidence you look great and if there
are rejections, then it wasn’t you. It was the other person not accepting you
as the whole. The dress doesn’t make you!
Grandmother asked, “What is going on?” I explained to her that he had hid
something under his shirt. You can see the bulge where he stuck it in his pants
and under his shirt. He gently pulled it out and it was a match box car. I
could have unleashed Pandora’s Box of tyranny of hopelessness. Instead, I released
hope.
We talked about his consequences. I explained that sometimes if you ask
for things you may get them. I offered grandmother a dollar and said this one
is on me. Grandmother was in tears expressed it is hard for her to buy things
for her grandson. He knows better and they both apologized.
Pandora went against the box’s instructions of “do not open”
and unleashed hurt upon herself. She heard the small voice inside the box that
said, “Release me.” Pandora opened the box and hope healed all the pain she
suffered. Isn’t it time to release hope out of the box and begin the journey to
heal. If you become afraid of being hurt, then ask yourself, have you released
hope to help you conquer the fears you have?
Life begins with hope, develops into faith and then into
an everlasting love. Love doesn’t take into account the wrong it has been done
to them. Love allows forgiveness to seem as if it was seventy times seven. Love is wise as a serpent and innocent
as a dove. Begin forging your faith on the anvil of perfection. You already opened the box once and you experienced pain in your life due to vulnerability. This time open it again and allow hope to restore you.
By Faith,
