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Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Butterfly Kisses - Change

Seasons change and with them, they bring a renewed sense of hope. Even though death comes as an unwelcome guest in our life, we cope with the struggles we face. If nothing ever changed in our lives, then our lives would be black and white and no butterflies to appreciate the undaunting changes. We may feel unappreciated by others when we go through a period of change.

Often times these changes do not get the recognition it deserves. A caterpillar, for instance, does all the work of wrapping itself into the cocoon, but the beauty is recognized in the butterfly. We are only as strong as our weakest moment that allows ourselves to be. Weakness is not a sign of failure. Weakness is the cocoon for strength.

Caterpillars appear weak because they crawl, but transformed into something strong for the eyes to behold in wonder they are given wings. We soar when we overcome our weaknesses. We become clothed in beauty through our struggles. Count them as a blessing and not as a sign of failure. Happiness is like a butterfly. If you pursue the butterfly, it is just beyond your grasp, however, sit and be patient, they will gently land on you.

Struggles, suffering and change are the unwelcome death of an old habit. Storms can frighten us when we do not understand them. The rain in the storms produces the growth for the beauty for us to enjoy. When we look simply at the small scale of the storm and learn to dance, we can truly appreciate the rainbow afterwards. We all fall down, but at the end of the day all is well.

Overcoming the obstacle and changing it to wings to overcome allows room for growth. Sometimes the blind can see more than those that can see. It is the lame that can teach us to walk. It is how we use our struggles to overcome the pain. Using pain constructively can build the wings to soar. We need butterfly kisses to know the choice is ours not to view weakness as a sign of failure, but an opportunity to learn happiness in the midst of change.

Several reasons why we resist a “butterfly kiss” (change):
  •  Often our purpose is not made clear
  •  Fear of failure
  •  Present situation seems satisfactory.
What to expect when in a cocoon of change:
  •  Expect resistance
  •  Expect the unknown end results
  •  Expect to pace yourself
How to work through the cocoon:
  •  Track your thoughts
  •  Measure your results
  •  Communicate positive thoughts
Caterpillars always seem to hug the ground and work through. Butterflies see the bigger picture and fly above the past situation. Getting over fear of change is the hardest. Dennis O’Grady states there are five reasons that hamper change:

1. Fear of the unknown – the unspoken message “you will lose control”
2. Fear of failure – there is a chance to fail
3. Fear of commitment – Commitment forces us to answer tough questions
4. Fear of disapproval – Fear of rejection if others do not like the new change
5. Fear of success – fear of new demands

The Butterfly effect:

1. Identify the change which can realistically be altered.
2. Brainstorm and write out pros and cons
3. Evaluate the impact and forces of changeability
4. Develop strategies to remove distractions and striving to win/win solutions
5. Ask questions that begin with what and not why: the why provides room for excuses, and the what provides the drive to reach your goal.

The key to flying with your new wings:
  • Remember attitude and nothing kills change faster than an attitude of resistance. 
  • Balance pleasing yourself with pleasing others. 
  • Those who proficient at change do not reject good advice just to prove they are not controlled by those who give it. 
  • Meet conflict head on
  • Keep setting goals
  • Communicate honestly with yourself and others
Remember there is no change in precontemplation. In contemplation, there is recognition to change. Prepare your changing thoughts and act upon them. After the change always maintain. Then become that butterfly and supply that butterfly kiss that others will not forget.

By Faith (Forging Attitude In Trusting Him)