Growing up I would visit my grandmother’s farm, and I can remember her saying to me that “home is where the heart is.” Never really thought about where my heart is and finding my home through my heart. However, for me this raises the question, “where do I belong?”
I grew up in the military, and family is always important to me. My grandparents are my foundation of roots when we were traveling. It was extremely difficult in settling into a new home and knowing in three years you would have to uproot again to a new state or country and lose that sense of belonging. Often I wondered, “Where do I belong?”
We are bombarded in society with many different choices. Grocery stores are full of frozen, fresh or canned vegetables, as well as the different styles of clothing, music and cars. There is diversity wherever one would travel and make their home and the question was always raised, “where do I belong?”
Families are now put together like puzzle pieces. Some are enshrined in picture frames, and some are torn apart and put away. Some are pieces here and there put together to a make a new puzzle. Divorces can cause families to destroy the sense of belonging and the question can always be raised, “where do I belong?”
We are created with a sense of belonging. Like a moth is to a flame always attracted to the source of light. A sense of belonging provides value and meaning into our lives and a comfort of security that we are not able to find in many other ways. Often, we are busy with the complexities of life, and we eventually forget the simplest baby step of showing interests in each other’s hearts. The deep sense of belonging can only happen when you are able to share your experiences and make the memories with others.
The memory of home always changes. Furniture, carpets, pictures, may change and memories may come and go, but the belonging to belong will never change. When you feel lost, are you putting your sense of belonging into the physical belongings? Alternatively, when you feel lost are you putting your senses to your own sense that no matter where you are, the choices that are there, there is only one place you can belong?
To answer the question, “where do I belong,” is dependant upon our behavior. Often times we may wonder if this is normal to feel this way because the surroundings may not support our thoughts of what it means on our terms to be accepted. The sense of “where do I belong” stems from our thoughts and conformity to society’s needs and wants at that time.
If you do not know where you belong then look at anything recent that triggers that question. Look deep inside and see what underlies unresolved feelings that fuels this thought. Then release that pain and move towards the present, so that you can connect to your inner sense of belonging. Sometimes anger or rejection can displace someone into asking where they belong.
Once your identity of who you are is established, then a sense of belonging can be fulfilled. This sense stems not from words or speech, but with actions in truth. However, the truth cannot be found in gangs, substance abuse, or any addictive behavior that helps you feel better or to cope with the loneliness and the bugging question where you belong. One can gain all the friends and still ask where do I belong?
Belonging is a sense of responsibility and ownership of relational duties to one another. Giving first stimulates the senses of belonging because you are invested in the interest of what was given and received. A sense of belonging is the accomplishment of first reaching out to the other one asking the same question of where do they belong.
Scientific research has proven although there are differences, we are 99.99% genetically the same. In order to feel that we belong is to cultivate our minds. We must weed out our dislikes, likes, jealousies, cynicisms, selfishness, hatred, love, comparisons, and what you have been taught by family and society, in order to see we are all the same. This is rather difficult and in order to do so one would have to be like Mr. Spock on Star Trek and think logically without any emotions.
Therefore, we have to have hope in knowing we are accepted and have a sense of belonging. The sift of truth is through the eyes and words of Christ. Did he condemn the woman at the well, the adulterous woman, did he segregate people or did he call various people like the Dr. Luke, the IRS Matthew, or the fisherman Peter to come together for a common purpose? When we break bread, there is a commonality and a sense of belonging through grace of acceptance of Christ. It is the ruler of this world that is like a lion that creates the doubt of survival and a sense of belonging. We have to hold on with forgiveness, acceptance and compassion to become responsible in our relationships with each other to provide that answers for each other of where we belong.
Where do I belong? My life belongs to Christ and to serve others without prejudices, and a constant captivation of thoughts to make them obedient to Christ, so that I will not loose my sense of acceptance. Love lifts us up where we belong. You do belong and you are worthy. If you are having feelings that you do not belong, feel free to contact me.
By Faith (Forging Attitude In Trusting Him)
