Outside the Box of Chocolates

Life is like a box of chocolates. Valentines Day is near. Men who complain their wives are not where they should be; get a grip! Don’t feed the habit. It’s time to get out of the box & support your wives & do laundry, dishes & think outside the box of chocolates! Now isn’t that sweet?


It is manly in a woman's eyes for a man to share the load. She needs to hear she is loved. She needs to know she is appreciated. NOT JUST ON ONE special DAY. She needs to feel it. Support the one you love outside the box. We all should be fit and thinner if we all pitched in and helped each other! Life is like a bowl full of cherries. You may get the pits, but it sure isn't fattening!

Valentines Day is great to share the moment in love. Look at it as a New Year’s Day of starting your relationship on the right track. Men just don’t get it sometimes. Women need to be cuddled with no strings attached. Make couple time at least 30 minutes to an hour a week, even if it is for lunch during your work week. Call and tell her you just wanted to hear her voice when you are having a rough day. Let her know she is needed in your life.

Men. You want to turn your woman on? Do the dishes. She spends a lot of time working. Whether or not she earns money she does work. Women who stay home with children need the adult stimulation. Turn the TV off. Get off the internet. Look into her eyes and listen. Don’t fix it and add two sense of what you think. Listen. Women are sensual creatures. Write her a love note from the heart. What scares me? Is that my prayers could be hindered. “You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7, NAS). Live with her in an understanding way. Weaker doesn’t mean physically. Weaker as in emotional driven. Watch the following movies with her: Notebook and Fireproof. I enjoy the movie Bicentennial Man. Sure he is a robot and wants to become human. The point is you serve her and love her till your dying breath.

Women. You already know how to turn your man on. Men are physical. They see with their eyes. Are you keeping yourself attractive? That is a part of it. The other part of it follows: A man needs to feel wanted. He likes it when he can help. Instead of nagging him to take out the trash, you can motivate him. Not helping around the house: motivate him. What is motivation? Motivation is stroking his inner pride. I appreciate you doing this for me because it really helps me. Thank you for helping me today and it really means a lot to me when you did this for me. It is romantic to me when you do the dishes and I can relax, so that we can have a fun time tonight. What can I do to help you in the yard?

Over all serve each other. Giving and not taking is the key. Keep expectations at a minimum. Expectations kill the relationship. Allow each other to be who they are. Women leave men on a higher rate scale than men leaving women. Why? Men need to be tender and not verbally or physically abusive to women. Men need to quit neglecting women and choosing alcohol, friends, television, games, work, and internet.

What do women want? They want a companion. They have the dream of a soul mate of someone they can trust and who is there for them when they have a problem. They want their feelings taken into an account when decisions are being made. They want to be emotionally connected.

What do men want? Men want someone who is supportive. Men don’t like being alone. Men appreciate women who can take care of themselves and the house. Men bond with women in a physical way. You may have to teach him how to do this. Men need to learn how to have self control and stamina to have an enjoying and lasting fun.

Finally, life shouldn’t be in a box of chocolates. Sure there are many flavors and you don’t know what you are going to get. When life is outside that box look at how wonderful it can be. Wonderful life it is. Valentines Day is special. Now take the day and turn it into days. How can you do this? I enjoy movies and chick flicks have lots of messages in them. Pick them out and try. Let’s hear about Sleepless in Seattle, the wonderful Practical Magic of being able to have a Message In A Bottle. Write love notes and hear You Got Mail. Restore your relationship and put out the fire and make it Fireproof. Live a life that others can cherish in a Notebook. Treat each other as if it was the First 50 Dates. Act like you have Never Been Kissed. Finally, you can have a Valentines Day relationship and live like the Princess Bride. As you wish!

Finding Yourself....

I don’t want to get up today. It is something about staying in bed that does the body good. Does it really? Why don’t I want to get out of bed? Maybe it is a struggle that I am facing and want to put it off. Am I doing the best for myself? What lie am I telling myself in that statement?


Growing up in a negative family was not a good lifestyle for me. My family would always pick fun of others at their expense. My father would tell my mom (or vice versa), while they are in public, look at that person and look at how she looks. Okay. Agreed spandex and an overweight person don’t look good. However, to vocalize that statement only integrated into my mind about appearance. It sets up a harsh judgment and doesn’t carry the mind of Christ in accepting others for who they are. It shaped who I was becoming.

Therefore, I am seriously and humbly want to publically apologize for those who knew and know me. I am truly sorry for putting you down. Not uplifting you. There are no excuses for my behavior and account for my responsibility. My negative attitude and lifestyle didn’t praise God and surely didn’t help you to see Him. Being selfish didn’t help either and this has weighed heavily on my mind. Two years ago, I became a Christian (1 Peter 3:21, Mark 16:16) and thought I was already. I realized my lifestyle was not in alignment with Him.

Thoughts are like the good and bad cholesterol. The bad cholesterol clogs the heart to see the best in others. It takes mental exercise and diet of God’s word to stay mentally in shape. Prayer is like “Lipitor”. It reduces the bad. Making a visit to the Great Physician (Mark 2:17) helps keeping your heart in check.

If you are having problems identifying who you are and wondering where you fit in life, it is understandable. I faced that situation myself as you can see from reading. Here is what I did to help reimage my mind.

Finding you:
1. Start with a clean slate:
  a. Psalms 51:10- Pray for God to create a clean heart.
      In any decision everything must start with prayer. Even when trying to figure out who you are. Prayer is the gateway to make sure God will provide the way.

b. Philippians 3:13- Forget what is behind and work towards the future.
    Work out past issues. If you can’t and you tried then try to move towards a future of what is in the alignment of God’s will and is pleasing to both.

c. Colossians 3:13 – Forgive the past
   Hard to forget and to have a clean heart when junk is in the way. Resentment builds and blinds the road to happiness. Sometimes resentment is like cholesterol in the blood. It builds and chokes out the life within you. Forgetting who you are and where you are going. Forgiveness and prayer is like Lipitor it will clean out the arteries (thoughts) to your heart and provides more energy to live for Him.

d. Psalms 112:7-8 – Secure your heart and don’t fear
    We have to secure our faith in Him and not fear where things are coming from. He said he will provide it is up to us to exercise our mind of not fearing.

2. Forget about what everyone else thinks
"He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away." – Raymond Hull

Although you can’t please everyone, you will disappoint someone. You don’t have to make someone happy. It is their choice. It is your choice in being happy. If you try to fulfill other peoples’ ideas and making them feeling happy when it brings you down, how will you know your true talents and the gifts that God gave you?

a. 1 Corinthians 14:20 – Don’t think like a child, but rather being an adult. We are accustomed to the way  
    we were brought up and trying to please. Maybe it was a parent that made you feel you were not good
    enough. You overcompensate by trying to please everyone to obtain your worthiness. Instead, think like
    an adult in that you know you are good enough (2 Thess. 1:5).

b. Philippians 2:3 – Be careful in selfish ambition or vain conceit. People and media try to tell you how to
    look, eat, who you are, how to be better and that you are not good enough. These thoughts contribute to
    vain. Working hard in trying to fit into the image of others and not into the image of God.

3. Find Solitude.

Today we are bombed with media, radio, internet, cell phone, television, mp3 players, conversations and pressures of life. If you are married there must be a time for your spouse to allow you the room to have solitude. Be doing something for yourself, like a massage, reading, relaxing and rejuvenating your mind. Find time to meditate. If you are single, schedule yourself a time just for you. Allow your friends to watch your children if you are a single parent. We all need to plug into Him to get a recharge.

a. Psalms 37:7 – Be still before God, and wait patiently for Him. This is where He whispers to you. Listen 
    closely and look.

b. Psalms 46:10 – Be still and know God. Meditation helps to focus by allowing God to direct your steps.   
    (Proverbs 16:9 man plans course, but God determines the steps).

c. Matthw 14:13 – Several occasion Jesus withdrew and prayed. Often prayer helps us to think aloud. It
    provides direction and a reconnection with God through the busy times we are in.

4. Test yourself – Think, Write, Reflect
    “People only see what they are prepared to see”—Ralph Emerson

A purpose driven life with vision and goals will help you stay focused. Look internally and examine your motives, thoughts, actions and attitudes. What do you want to do? Where do you want to be? Why do you think these thoughts? When do you want to accomplish? How will you make the best of it? Write out your thoughts. Reflect if this is the route you want to take. This comes natural overtime.

a. 2 Corinthians 13:5 – Test ourselves and examine if our life is the lifestyle of Christ.

b. Romans 12:2 – Renew your mind and thinking. Test it to see if it is the will of God.

c. 1 Thessalonians 5:21 – Examine everything and hold fast to what is good.

d. Galatians 6:4 – Test your works and see if it is worthwhile.

5. Practice and be ready.
Practice your new thoughts. Make good choices and find out what lead to the bad choices. Be ready for dead ends and not grow weary. Find new paths to reach your goal.

a. 2 Peter 1:10—Practice and you won’t stumble.

b. Psalms 37:31—God is holding your hand

Realize that everything is a “YES” in your life.
2 Corinthians 1:19,20 For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, who was preached among you by me and Silas and Timothy, was not "Yes" and "No," but in him it has always been "Yes. For no matter how many promises God has made, they are "Yes" in Christ. And so through him the "Amen" is spoken by us to the glory of God.

You are worthy. You are unique. Believe in yourself because you were created in the image of God. Find that image again and soon you will be a reflection of Him. Believing in Him, and doing what you believe creates a lifestyle that will provide you a peace that passes understanding. Even through trials you are going through. Finally, instead of asking what is wrong with it, ask what is right about it. Your focus will turn from negative to a positive. Remember, to find yourself it begins in Him.