The Lucky One -- Memorial Day

"How do you explain something that you can't even understand yourself?" (Logan, The Lucky One)

It is 7 am as I sent down to write this blog and many thoughts are rushing to my mind like a wave coming upon the beach. A cool breeze this morning from the south and an overcast sky sets the tone of the words I wish to convey. My prayers were said this morning in thankfulness for …

The Lucky One…..

My heritage is full of family members that have served this country and the freedom we have because of what they have done. From the time they served George Washington to the present day, it is a privilege and honor to serve this country. The United States Army from 1992-2000 has prepared me to be helpful to my fellow mankind, to be proud of the service to my country, and to provide freedom to those who need it.

The movie entitled, “The Lucky One”, struck a lot of thoughts. Several times my units were deployed and God spared our units from not going. We prepared our units, loaded our vehicles onto the trains at Fort Hood, Texas to be sent to California. We went through prepping stages and as soon as we were on lock down the message came through that Saddam Hussein stood down.

Many of my friends that had went survived and some came back leaving a part of them in the war. The movie portrays a Marine Soldier coming back from the Iraq war. A picture isolated from its owner lies on the ground. The Marine finds it, embraces it and he is determined to find who the woman is in the picture. He describes her picture to her as an angel sent to hell to save him. In one seen, as he is back home, portrays him being startled by boys and his reflexes reacted. He explains to his sister he cannot stay and sets out on foot in search of his angel.

The movie portrays him as the Lucky One. Today, as I reflect upon the movie, my comrades that lay in cold ground, and those who have served with me, bears a cross of remembrance in my mind. Those who did not die can be considered the Lucky One. However, I want to look from a different perspective.

You may have not served the country, but in some form you have supported the country through those who did. Soldiers have emotional wounds and often I cannot fathom the trauma they experienced and the thoughts that roll through their minds. Are they the lucky ones?

This weekend our great country remembers those who have fallen. The “unlucky ones” as we might classify them, are remembered. Families torn and hurt over the loss will grieve with mixed feelings. Soldiers who survived have emotional scars will reflect upon the war fought and the casualties that were harvested by the Reaper remembered.

Wars are not won through battles. Wars in reality do not have winners or losers. Wars end because they realize the overwhelming losses on both sides. There are no, “Lucky Ones” when wars are fought.

Soldiers who fought can be called heroes. Those who survive maybe called the Lucky One. However, I believe in some form we are all the Lucky Ones. Reflect this Memorial Day as you being the Lucky One. A price has been paid through your freedom through soldier’s blood. The flag stands for freedom as her stripes wave with blood stripes waves in the wind. The overcast sky reminds me of a passage in the bible as Christ hung upon the cross for the worlds sins. As Christians we are the lucky ones spiritually.

Memorial Day brings out the emotions that are buried and they are raised and surfaced through tears that shed our pain. Let not, it be a day of mourning, but instead let it be a day of feeling lucky or blessed by God we can live another day in freedom. The red, white and blue are symbols of pride and bought freedom in blood.

Thank a living veteran for his or her services to this country. Often times they are not the lucky ones because of the emotional scars and wounds they bear. You are the lucky one because of them. Let not it be a day of regrets, but embrace the chance to start life over because of the freedom they paid for you. The Tomb of the Unknown is a reminder of the sacrifice that was made. May we never forget we are the lucky ones as we sit in freedom to worship our creator, a choice to vote for the next elected officials and a chance to eat with family members in our observance of those who have fallen.

By Faith (Forging Attitude In Trusting Him)

Honoring the Nurturer

It comes and goes each May; a day set aside to honor the motherly women in our lives. At Mother’s day, though, we should go beyond honoring our mothers. There are some who are not cut out to be mothers and others that should receive medals for heroics.

"The commonest fallacy among women is that simply having children makes one a mother—which is as absurd as believing that having a piano makes one a musician."  -- Sydney J. Harris

I have to agree with Sydney Harris on this.  There are women who could not have children, but through adoption, have become wonderful mothers.  There are some women who never had children of their own, but their motherly qualities shine through.

The old saying, “you can choose your friends, but you cannot choose your family,” resonates with me.  Although there were difficulties with my family that brought me through rough times, I have a deep love for them.  I know my mother did her best with the knowledge she had to be a good mother. Although I was never close to my family, my mother can never be replaced and I do love her.

Through difficult times my aunt stepped up and we have “adopted” each other. My aunt married late in life and has no children of her own. They say mother’s day is for those who have had children; I disagree. There are a myriad of remarkable women whose motherly qualities shine through to those they encounter in their life journey.

"A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us when adversity takes the place of prosperity when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts." --Washington Irving

Reflect on all the women that you have come in contact with throughout your life. Whether they were aunts, grandmothers, sisters, widows, or acquaintances, how have they brought nurturing into your life? Women are uniquely designed, but are often misunderstood.

On Mother’s Day we provide gifts and do special things to express our love and thoughts about the one that has interfaced into our life. Men often try their best to impress the women in their life. It might be promises or flowers and some express in monetary ways.  Women may appreciate these things, but there is a need to go a step further.

Whether this Mother’s day is shared with your mother, grandmother, aunt, sister, or adopted mom here are some key things from a man’s perspective:

1.      Women enjoy those shared moments. It is not about the lavishness of the gift to spoil her heart.  Women are gentle and emotional creatures and they remember the actions that go along with the gift. Did you buy a dozen roses and have them delivered or did you go out and pick fresh flowers?  A woman will remember how you gave to them, how you talked and looked into her eyes, the emotion of your voice and body language.

2.      There is a false belief that women are workhorses and superwomen. Partaking in helping women by sharing responsibilities provides a sense to her that you care enough to relieve some of the stress she feels. If you are not working then you do your share or more within the home to help. Mothers are nurturers and not maids. Some women enjoy the “motherhood”; but pitching in when she is tired means more than a monetary gift.  

3.      Finally, women are critical enough and not in a derogatory manner. They are able to point out the obvious that is often missed by most. Often they will notice the cut or scrape that you missed. That is the nurturing nature in them. They may become emotional, but validating them is the best emotional support you can provide. It is tough when you feel the world is against you, but it is very supportive when they know there is a fan or advocate that supports them through tears and joyous times.

Bottom line: honoring women on Mother’s day is about them knowing they are loved. Even though some may not be the best at motherhood, they feel they have tried to do so with the knowledge and skills they acquired in their life. Therefore, this Mother’s Day, share the moment and thank those who have been in your life, regardless of how they made you feel.

If you are married to the woman that bore your children, or married to a woman with her own children, thank them for being in their children’s life and yours. If you are a female, allow the room for freedom of expression from those who are in your life to share this special day.

I love you mom and I love you Aunt W.

Happy Mother’s Day.

By Faith (Forging Attitude In Trusting Him)

Why me? The Jepoardy Question

Questions are never indiscreet, answers sometimes are. ~ Oscar Wilde

I went into the woods and got it. I sat down to seek it. I brought it home with me because I couldn't find it. What is it?

Who could resist? Obviously that is a great question and now as you began to read, you could not resist to finding the answer to the question. Do you have the answer? The answer to the question is like a hook and worm to the fish. The question seems to bait us in. When we try to give an answer, it is too late. We are hooked. Sometimes, feeling obligated to blurt out the answer.

When someone wants an answer there is a moment to jump in and help. When someone looks or asks for help, it is human nature to help. Therefore, if you sat down to seek it and couldn't find what it is; then what is your answer? The answer is a splinter.

Trivia games are riddled with questions and you have to answer as many as you can to win. What year did Harry Potter debut in the movie theaters? The answer is 2001. What was Elvis's first hit song? The answer is "Heartbreak Hotel” in March 1956. What year did the movie Roger the Rabbit, debut? The answer is 1988.

What was the song that no cartoon could resist? Here is a hint to the last question: It was an early recording that used the 7-note at the beginning and ending of a 1915 song by Billy Murray. Often cars, trains or even humans by knocking on the door, tapped out this interesting, but irresistible tune. It’s like poison ivy to the brain that makes you itch to get the remedy and sooth the brain with an answer.

Pop quizzes in school were difficult because you had to know the answer right then. Okay, I get it, you are still itching to come up with the answer. So why are we plagued to coming up with an answer to questions that often seem so mundane? You are right; I forgot to give you the answer. The answer is to keep reading the blog and you will receive the final answer.

Life is more than just the air you breathe. Elements are like an impact wrench that chisels away at the very core of your being. A two-year-old child that constantly asks why can be nerve wracking. Yet, all of us at some point has asked the question, why me?

Some people blame tough events and ask the Creator; why me? You get news you have cancer and wonder, why me? It is a tough question that just does not come with a cookie-cutter answer. What about why am I always messing up? Why does this keep happening to me? It is the pattering knock of the song, Shave and a Haircut, and we want to answer, two bits.

Roger the Rabbit tried so hard to resist answering back with two knocks (Shave and a Haircut and is the answer).  Someone dies and we feel compelled to come up with an answer.  Silence is often the right answer. Being there for someone hurting is the right answer. Not everyone wants the problem solved or fixed with an answer to their question.

Why questions can play the victim role; but not all ‘why’ questions do. Pay attention to the energy level the “why” is being used. Change the why (easier to rationalize and shift blame) to a “what” question. What is challenging and it focuses your attention as to what is the central focus of the problem.

Why is this happening to me? Provides a rationalized victimized answer and should be asking what is happening to me? What is it that I am allowing to happen to me? Regardless of what stage you are in life, ask the “what” question.  Example, “why did you do this?” can prompt an “I do not know” answer. Instead, ask the “what” question: what motivated you to do this?

A question does not always need an answer.  You can display more wisdom by remaining quiet or if you truly do not have an answer, you can provide, “I do not know the answer to that question.” Think of life as a mystery. How you unravel the case is how you unlock the keys by the sequence of questions you ask. You can play the victim and provide the control to the culprit or you can take control and overcome the culprit by asking the right questions. They can provide you the strength to overcoming the situation. Being a hamster on the why wheel will get you nowhere, but asking yourself, how can I get off the wheel can provide freedom you never knew existed.

Why has this happened? I do not know. What has happened is my mind shifts gears to a strong person, willing to work and solve the problem and not provide the control to the situation.  The next time you are feeling like the world is against you or ask, “why are they treating me this way”, stop, breathe, reflect and ask, “what am I doing that is allowing them to treat me this way.” This allows you to become the hero of salvaging relationships.
By Faith (Forging Attitude In Trusting Him)

The Art of Self

I am still learning--how to take joy in all the people I am, how to use all my selves in the service of what I believe, how to accept when I fail and rejoice when I succeed.--Audre Lorde

I like a place called Silver Dollar City in Branson, Missouri. Art fascinates me; the creativity that flows like a river of paint upon a white canvas. The canvas comes alive as it captures the scenic view. I enjoy the art of melted glass being carefully blown to perfection: a beautiful vase the result. Skilled crafters gather at Silver Dollar city and create their perfections and imperfections for all to see.

The last few weeks since the passing of my grandmother; I have been reflecting and kept quiet in my blogs. Sometimes, I believe silence in a busy world is good. It is a time to reflect upon the moments of your life and the other person’s life that have impacted each one's life. Much like crafters coming together and creating magical pieces that leaves the unskilled in awe.

Being in love is so fun. You find those special moments you want to save and remember those special times. Like a sunset that takes your breath away and you seal the night with a kiss and the moment is slid into an envelope of the brain and carefully reread or tucked away. Mentally, we want to have those happy creations, but sometimes we enjoy carving our initials in the tree as a reminder of our love.

Our lives are being shaped. There are some that want to carve their initials in our life. We can be like the glass that is carefully being sculpted and there you have people who are fragile, transparent, on show or used by others. We can be like the metal that over time being on the anvil hardens us, shapes us into something useful for others to use. Maybe it was that one Marine soldier that gave up his life to save his platoon from an attack.

We could be clay; moldable, flexible, pliable, and ready to be used. Notice how these skilled crafters at Silver Dollar City have an impact on their creation? Others have that same impact on our lives. The biggest challenge to being a living art form is that it constantly wants you to be like everyone else. You are the real you fashioned by life and to hide your imperfections you can stand in a crowd, but for you to be the real you take courage in standing in front of the crowd.

The mind is the potter’s wheel. If you think too much about what others think of you, it can change what you think of yourself. Because you are on the wheel; you may feel like you have to explain yourself to your friends that do not need an explanation because they accept you. Try explaining yourself to your enemy and your spinning on the potter’s wheel because they won’t believe you anyways.

How do you become flexible in your thought process; when you are still being fashioned and sometimes on display like Silver Dollar city? Bottom line: who are you letting create and design you? Defining who you are without being molded by others agenda can be challenging. You have an innate ability to create and to help; you may tend to ask what the world’s needs are. When in fact you conform to what the world needs and wants and you shape yourself to the moment and not realizing you begin to chase the wind and become unhappy, unsettled, restless because you cannot fulfill what the hungry world needs.

Instead, ask yourself what helps you to come alive and what can you offer: go and do it. Life needs driven purpose. Do not compromise; follow a path with strength of conviction that can move others. There is a tendency to compare ourselves with others and then the focus shifts onto the success or failures by which they or you have lived. Be a person worthy of your own respect.

When you take life’s fire out of your heart; you become hardened and then you’re stuck in the form you were molded. The fire is the passion to be different, keeping at the forefront of your mind your willingness to take a risk like the Marine, and impact another life for the better. Finally, test your thoughts against the truth and there you will find your direction within the truth.

Always be yourself. Some are lost in the dark because they are trying to win your trust and wonder what you think of them. It is an amazing life when you do not care who gets the credit and can look back at everything you accomplished small or great. It is easy to conform to what others want you to be; that is a safe way to exist, but to live is to find out in your own heart what is true. You are an earthen vessel and hidden inside is a treasure that is beyond measure. Captivate those self defeating thoughts and others’ words and comparisons and make them obedient in truth.

In the end, we are all on the craftsmen’s bench, we are being molded; but it is up to you in how flexible you want to be. continue being the best masterpiece for the world to see. Do not become the victim by being bullied into silence or accept someone’s definition of your own life, but define by listening to the hand that is molding you on the inside by being comforted in knowing through perfections and imperfections you are a rare art form that is unique and priceless. One's philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes ... and the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility.--Eleanor Roosevelt

Remember – the only thing you can change about yourself makes all the difference in someone’s life to admire.
 
By Faith (Forging Attitude In Trusting Him)