Be Different - What Does It Cost?

“Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” ~Aristotle

The British marched to Concord and Paul Revere warned the townsfolk, “The British are coming.” It was the last stand, but the beginning of the war for Independence. Shots rang out and it echoed through the land. Blood spilled as if it was to water the fields. Flags wave as a symbol of soldier’s pride of what they believed in and it justified their cause to fight. Smoke from fired cannons filled the air and in anticipation after the smoke cleared to see what was left standing. Fallen soldiers like fallen dominos scattered across fields. 

In June of 1776, a secret committee composed the formal declaration of independence that was spearheaded by Thomas Jefferson. The first draft was presented to congress on June 28, 1776. After several revisions, a vote was taken by the 13 colonies on July 4, 1776. There were nine colonies that were for it. Pennsylvania and South Carolina were the only two colonies, which voted against the Declaration; Delaware was undecided and New York abstained from voting. The majority won and the birth of a nation began. 

It is easy to spot the differences in the bee picture. Being different may seem easy. However, what if the minority spoke out and changed the minds of the majority to vote no?  Would there be a day of freedom or under the rule of another nation? What if the undecided persuaded the others to be indecisive, would that have made a difference?  

What is the difference between the government and the Mafia? One of them is organized. What is the difference between baseball and law? In baseball, if you’re caught stealing, you are out. What is the difference between you and me? No differences because there is a need to feel valued, worthy and trusted.

Too often differences are compared and biased attitudes and lack of education or fear creates prejudices, which create barriers in creating a unified humanity. Humanity comes together in most cases, when there is a crisis. However, during the crisis there are differences, which are created when individuals have material things and will up the prices. Then those without, are doubly punished by nature and then by their own humanity.  The tendency for survival kicks in and self becomes elevated above others. 

You don’t have to wonder very far from your home in order to see the faces of your family, work, school, church, or community. There are noticeable differences in how they dress, talk or places they live or how they live. There is one common thread, which holds people together by one common denominator, which is to feel worthy, valued and trusted. 

“It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences.” ~ Audre Lorde

Sometimes it feels there is an argument to conform to everyone’s standards. There are some that will do everything to make you feel you must conform to their “rules”. It is difficult to be different, to fight for what is right and what you believe. It is exhausting to have healthy boundaries, when it seems everyone expects/demands you to be something different and therefore why not just conform?

If you feel there isn’t any conflict, then could it be there is someone compromising their beliefs? Some conflict is natural and it helps build a nation like the day of Independence. When we do not feel valued, it is sometimes not adhering to your healthy boundaries and standing up to the difficulties to being different. 

Sometimes those difficulties make you feel you are mocked, misunderstood, an outcast, or wrongly accused. There has to be a value of being true to yourself, despite all odds that seem to be the minority speaking out. Unfortunately, it is the minority that sticks together and raises a voice in gossip about you that makes it difficult to allow others to see you differently. 

Yes, there have been accusations, gossips, being mocked, and being an outcast on multiple occasions. There was much self-talk for to remain true to myself, while my life seem difficult at the moment. Yet, it was rewarding that I didn’t choose to compromise or believe the negativity. I had to understand people are going to be different, but I had to measure myself worthy amongst those who were negative against me.

How do you measure that you are worthy? You seek the spiritual where it begins. Accept you are wonderfully made (Psalms 139:14). Get rid of those thoughts and ask yourself: “Am I willing to let go of approval from others”, and Am I willing to push past through my fears when it seems like things are not going to change and see it through” by making your thoughts obedient through Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5)?

What is the goal to freedom? Don’t be afraid to color outside the lines or think outside the box. It all starts by picking up the crayon and making the effort. We have unique perspectives to offer others. It is finding or surrounding yourself around those who are going to be supportive of you.

First, understand who you are and what you want to represent. This is your identity. Mine was found in Christ and everything else fell into place by meditating, journaling and organizing my thoughts before reacting to those who are on the attack. 

Second, it wasn’t about me. It was the work I was doing that put them on the attack against me. I had to learn not to take things personally because they didn’t understand what I represented.  They were attacking because they were trying to protect their own ideals and what I represented made them question their own values. 

If we do not have someone standing up for what is unique and important, despite what others will say, and then will inventions or crusades really matter?  It will seem lazy, when we do not stand up for what we believe in. When two opinions collide can there be a compromise, to avoid personality wars? 

The right to freedom is about being true to yourself. Being true to yourself, while having healthy boundaries, allows freedom without feeling constrained.  We all handle things differently and we may not understand each other’s approach, but we need to respect each other’s methods. The declaration of freedom by being different, comes with a cost, it is being true to yourself in the midst of standing opposition. Have you drafted your Declaration of Independence by being different?

It is by F(orging) A(ttitude) I(n) T(rusting) H(im)