Boot Camp – Building Your Faith

“No need to panic… Because God will be right there with, you; He’ll keep you safe and sound.” Proverbs 3:26

“Okay you watermelon heads lineup” said the voice in the dark, “and no coats”!

It was mid-January 1992 and I knew what was coming. It was another drill to see if we could follow directions. We lined up in formation and it was snowing. My breath seems to freeze in mid-air. It was like a cartoon scene where my breath seemed to fall to the ground. My toes were getting cold, my arms and face started to freeze. What seemed like 30 minutes were only two minutes; then the voice again, “Okay you sissies go back and get your coats and you have one minute to get back into formation, otherwise you will have to do 20 push-ups.”

We ran inside. We were not quick enough and that was a given. It was chow time and bacon, eggs and a hot cup of coffee was calling my name. “You think you’re smarter than your drill-sergeant?” echoed his voice in the freezing dark morning. “No drill-sergeant” we corresponded back in unison. “That’s not good enough privates, now get down and give me 20 push-ups and we don’t have all day.”

I dreaded that moment. We were on fire ant hill. I was the squad leader and being the tallest I was on the end. Luckily there wasn’t any near me; but my private got it. Yes, he survived fire ant hill. We all did.

It was called fire ant hill because in South Carolina at Ft Jackson, there were fire ants. I knew what they were in San Antonio. I would kick them over as a small boy and watched them sprawl all over the ground. If they got on you, you knew it. It felt like fire! Leave a chicken bone on the ant hill and the next day there was no meat left on it. It was bleached white.

We were being trained as soldiers. We had to get rid of our civilian individualistic attitudes and conform to the system.  We were trained to watch each others backs and had to build our faith into each other, in order for us to trust. We had each others lives in our hands because we had to defend ourselves against the enemy both foreign and domestic.

Fear, like in my last blog of swimming and jumping off the end of the diving board, robs us of control. We have this innate responsibility to either fight or run. What if we can’t run or fight and we stand in shock? How do we build our faith in the unknown?

Life conditions us like soldiers. One minute we are unprepared against the elements and the next we go through the fire, which tests and builds our endurance to handle the next trial that is coming down the pike. It is challenging to build faith in the things you do not see. Hard to build faith in not knowing what will happen tomorrow.

Your child lies helplessly in a hospital bed. I held my 14 month old son in my arms as he cried and they tried to put a needle in his arms, hands and then his head. It was frightening. I was scared about losing my son because he contracted a rare form of salmonella poisoning that he contracted from a restaurant that is now closed. As a parent you don’t want to see your child hurting. I love him very much.

I’ve learned through life that I can’t borrow trouble or play leap frog with the unicorn. Life was building my faith not in my self; but in a higher power. I am still learning to trust Him. There were Giants attacking me from all sides that year in 2013.

The final blow came in October 18, 2013 at 8:45 PM, when the doctor called me. It wasn’t good. I went to a specialist and it was confirmed. Cancer. He shared with me that I must have surgery within two weeks or my chance of survival would be slim in 2014. Faith took a blow. I was at the bottom of the barrel of life and the only way to look; was up. I had to Forge my Attitude In Trusting Him. Today, I am cancer free.

Military can’t develop your faith. Cancer can’t develop your faith. Losing a job and finding another one can’t develop your faith. Others can’t develop your faith for you. Therefore, how do you do it? There isn’t a cookie cutter answer.

I can offer you what helped me to build my faith. I struggled and it wasn’t easy. There were three things, which helped me. First, there was prayer. I had to learn how to pray. I prayed with the person I was in a relationship with at the time. Prayer works. I had to be specific in my prayer; be bold in my prayer and be honest in my prayer.

“Father, I am scared and do not know what to do at this moment. I trust you have a plan. I am angry because I have a life to live and …” there it was in my prayer. It wasn’t my life.

Life was breaking me to realize that it isn’t about me and life. I could have left my faith and turn against Him. However, I had to learn that my prayers had to change and take the focus off of me.

“Father, I’m running to you because I am afraid of the future, but I know you hold all things; if we delight in you. There are things I would like to accomplish in your name in order to help others to see your redemptive love. Strengthen me in this hour and help me to see what it is you want me to see, so that I can live for you. Forgive me father of my wrong choices, behaviors and selfishness and fix my eyes upon you. Help lead me out of the paths of darkness.” This prayer helped to change my attitude.

Second, I had to meditate in His word. I had to learn to marinate my mind in the words of His promises. He has pulled me through so many attacks, financial situations, and bad health. Sure others can talk about me, put me down, and choose not to have a relationship with me. My focus had to change from being on me, but shift to the Shepherd of my soul.

In order to exercise and stay in shape, I have to walk and lift weights and change the way I eat. His Word is the food; it is the everlasting bread, which sustains me. It changed my outlook to learn not to judge others or be critical and to accept those who were broken. It didn’t matter what others said to me about other people. They were wrong sometimes and I saw something in them that others didn’t see. People can change if you allow them. The only allowance comes through reading His word.

My Aunt provided me a daily devotional book. It was beneficial every morning I read it through my difficult times. Not only did I hear Him better, I saw Him through different days of my journey and realized I wasn’t alone. I had to exercise my faith by forging my attitude in trusting Him that he would deliver. I am human and my faith is still growing. You can’t just marinate in His word and expect it to work.

Like a shepherd, which leads the flock to exercise, I had to exercise His word in my actions. To quit worrying over things I had no control over. I had to let go and realize to ask Him and not take it from Him by robbing Him to work in my life by trying to do things on my own.

Christ's own apostles, who were expert in fishing, still went to the bottom of the boat and sought Christ out to calm the seas. It was a lesson I had to learn. The lesson was that I can’t fight the troubled seas alone and I had to learn to depend on Him to deliver me.

Finally, I had to embrace those people who would be pillars in my life. I am thankful for my Aunt Wanda, Aunt Mary, my grandmother who talked me through in learning to trust Him. I am thankful for two of my church friends, the only two that stuck by me, despite what others were saying against me. Thank you to Mike and Lee for seeing something good in me. I am thankful for the relationship of Kelley, who helped train my thoughts.

Christ choosing the twelve taught me a lesson to learn. He only had three men he was close to: Peter, James and John. Sometimes, we have to have those few friends we can trust and depend upon. Like Christ in the garden, there were close people in my garden of trials, my family and friends, were there to walk me through my journey.

Therefore, prayer is a powerful tool to forge your thoughts. Learn to trust in a higher power than your own. Marinate in His word daily. Walk, His talk, so that His light can shine and help you to be a witness as a survivor of the storm. Finally, surround yourself with friends who will not leave, who will encourage you, who will listen to you and provide encouragement.You are never alone in the boot camp of your faith.

How are you building your faith? Are you Forging (your) Attitude In Trusting Him?

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."
~Martin Luther King, Jr.

by faith,