Clothe Your Heart in Thanksgiving – Building your faith

“Gratitude means to recognize the good in your life, be thankful for whatever you have, some people may not even have one of those things you consider precious to you (love, family, friends etc). Each day give thanks for the gift of life. You are blessed” ― Pablo

I watched her from a distance. She was admiring some gloves and a scarf. Gently placing them down, she walked off. Finally, I caught up to her and asked how her shopping was going. “Oh, I liked those gloves and scarf, but there was no hat that I liked to go with it” she replied. The following Saturday we went shopping again in a different town. Same thing happened, but this time it was reversed; she found the hat, but no gloves or scarf to match. 

It was three weeks away from Christmas. No, she didn’t know it, but I went back to both stores and bought all three items that matched. I am not sure if she remembered what she looked at from the prior store. Therefore, I secretly wrapped them up and placed them in a box and tried my best to wrap them in Christmas wrapping paper. Carefully and methodically I placed it under the tree. 

Awakened by the children, we got up the next morning to the screams, that Santa came. Wiping the sleep from my eyes, I proceeded to the living room. The children were asking if they could open the presents. A glance in both of our directions, we smiled and nodded, yes. The excitement was there with bright smiling faces. 

She looked at me and asked, “What is this”? We weren’t supposed to do anything for each other that Christmas and we were to get gifts only for the children and to help an unfortunate family that year. “Open it” I replied. She carefully opened the package and a big grin began to form. “How did you know?” she questioned. 

The Father knows what we need in our life before we even begin to look or think of things we want in our life. Life is a gift. Full of surprises and twists and turns; we wait sometimes in anticipation knowing what is coming, or we wait in silence or worry. 

Thanksgiving is a time to reflect upon this nation’s blessings of food and friendship. Every day should be a reflection of thanksgiving, regardless of the fates we suffer. Either we can see a glass half full or half empty, but we can still be thankful we have a glass. 

Enter His gates with thanksgiving; go into His courts with praise.  Give thanks to Him and praise His name. -Ps 100:4 NLT

There is a blessing in being thankful: not only in the good times, but even in the bad situations we are put in. You may not feel like being thankful for the hand you were dealt, and I wasn’t at one point in time. Yet, I am still growing and learning to be thankful in all things. When given a hard blow in life (divorce/death) you begin to learn to appreciate the small gestures someone does for you.

You begin to lose sight in being thankful if we stop praying or if we focus on the tragedies or problematic situations we are in. I had to learn that rainbows are made through rain when the sunlight hits it. My tears had to be brought to His light in order for there to be a rainbow of promises that he is working on me and developing me into something better than what I could do for myself. 

There is a positive impact on others when our life is shown in gratitude. Dr. Dyer expressed, “With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.” In my own research, I have found through other scientific studies, that when you write down at least three things you are thankful for 21 days, you sleep better, become happier and more optimistic. 

Look for the little things in the good and bad and become thankful for them. They become the cornerstones and pillars to lean on when the storm hits. It builds your faith in knowing that while you were looking for a gift, He has His own gift in mind far greater than what you can pick out. 

Clothing can keep you, your hands, neck and head warm, but it is being thankful in all things which keeps your heart warm. Do you have your attitude on His anvil? Yes, being banged up and being shaped is no fun, when your heart is cold. Having a warm and heated heart due to being thankful, shapes you into something more than you can ever imagine. 

Happy Thanksgiving!

By Faith, 

THERMO --- STAT OR METER? Which describes you?

“He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior.” - Confucius 

It is amazing for me to be sitting outside during the month of July in Tulsa, Oklahoma. It is 72 F. However, the average temperature for this time is about 95 degrees or 35 C. This isn’t about science and without getting into the semantics of science let’s set the stage of this blog. 

Let’s say the water begins to freeze at 32 F. The thermometer’s (an external device, which measures temperature) median is set at zero. It measures anything above zero as warm and hot and anything below zero is cold or freezing.  Okay, I am not a scientist, all I know is when my toe comes out from under the covers and it is cold, it is time to stay in bed. If I am outside and a bead of water forms on my head, then I know it is hot and time to go inside where it is cool.  A thermometer measures the reaction to what it is in. 

When I tend to focus on the temperature, especially when I look at the thermometer in the summer, the more hot I begin to feel. When I am indoors from the heat or cold, my thermostat can regulate a nice comfortable temperature year round. Then a thought occurred to me about how this can equate to our life. Therefore, are you a thermometer, by mirroring the environment, or are you a thermostat that can change it?  

As a veteran of the Army, I had to learn to adapt to dangerous situations by using the resources around me and planning strategies, which could neutralize the situation. I had to learn through many trials and hardships to change my outlook from being negative to positive situations. By learning different strategies, taught me that I can be a thermostat and regulate the environment around me by who I am and what I do. Yet, sometimes, I was a thermometer and was changed by certain personal events, poor choices and often good positive choices. 

Life can be a hot situation or it can be a cold situation. If it is warm, then for me I am just complacent and not growing and prefer to move the needle to learn and to grow as an individual. As an individual, I prefer growing in His grace and to be changed. I had to learn to grow from being externally compelled (thermometer) to being internally motivated (thermostat). 

How you look at life determines, whether you can change (thermostat) it or be changed by it (thermometer). In order for me to be more of a thermostat, I had to learn to captivate my thoughts and make them obedient (2 Cor 10:5). I change my thermostat by renewing my mind every day (Rom. 12:2). By regulating myself, it enabled me to be content in all circumstances (Phil. 4:11). 

When life becomes a storm, it is difficult sometimes not to be a thermometer and measure how big or small or how hot or cold it can become. My focus is then off of regulating my mind, but merely reacting and measuring the external trouble. It can be a challenge. The fishermen were experts at the seas, in the biblical times. Yet, I remember the story where Jesus was asleep in the boat and they came in fear and awakened him. They were the thermometer measuring the storm and Jesus was the thermostat that was able to regulate the environment. 

We have the same control over the storms in our life. It isn’t that was can get rid of the trouble, but it is how we regulate our thoughts to be able to survive it. Understand the difference between being a thermometer, which reacts to the storm, or being a thermostat where you can regulate your thoughts to weather the storm. During this time it takes practice to work on self-talk. Self-talk is the mercury within the thermostat that can get you below normal (depression) or above normal hot (furiously angry). 

Negativity mindset dilutes the human potential to find positivity. The power within you is to focus your mind by capturing the negative thoughts and make them obedient to the positive thoughts. This will enable you to no longer dwell on what went wrong, or who to blame. This could build roadblocks that greatly reduce your power to change. When you embrace the positive of I can, accept responsibility for what has occurred and realize it is the stepping stone into something better, it enables you to focus on succeeding. 

Finally, how do we regulate our environment like a thermostat? Regulating emotions and impulses means to purposely decrease or increase the intensity of an emotion by determining whether to act or not on impulse. First, use your thoughts to slow down by reacting suddenly to the situation. Think about using a coping skill, which can regulate your anger or anxiety. Choose how you think about the situation and how you plan on reacting. This will take time, but only when you are conscious to the situation you are in. These are some of the skills we can all learn, but the crucial key that opens the door is being able to step back and reflect on what you are thinking, feeling and wanting to do. Journaling your thoughts is a good idea. 

Draw out on a piece of paper columns. Label the columns like this:

What happened	My thought	My Feeling	What did I do?	What could I do better?
A person cut me off in traffic	JERK	Anger	Flipped him off	Slow down and let them pass

This will help you to reflect and observe your reactions and can help regulate the thoughts for future problems to help gain control over your behaviors, thoughts and feelings. By becoming a thermostat you learn to be emotional aware of the situation, especially when you feel confused and are set in old habits. If you are emotional aware, then you can regulate, instead reacting to what is happening and are able to make good choices. 

Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Daniel Goleman in his book, Emotional Intelligence, describes self-regulation as a master aptitude and there are five core elements of self-regulation: 

1.  Self-control which regulates impulses and emotions. 
2. Trustworthiness that maintains principles of integrity. 
3. Conscientiousness by taking responsibility for your choices/actions. 
4. Adaptability to being open to change by being flexible to the situation. 
5. Innovation by looking at the situation by gaining new information and looking at it from a different perspective.

There are some who are “high” self-regulators (thermostats) who can keep cool under pressure and be able to redirect their emotions, which could cloud their thinking. There are some who are “low” self-regulators (thermometers), which find it problematic to manage impulses and have poor boundaries. This can also create an unstable environment by reacting before thinking. 

Therefore, ask yourself are you a thermostat (regulating yourself and the environment by the way you think) or are you more of a thermometer (measuring and reacting to the situation by shutting down (cold) or blowing up (anger))? 

We have to put ourselves on the anvil and Forge Attitudes In Trusting Him (f.a.i.t.h).

By Faith,