I apologize for my readers for taking so long in posting a new blog. Several ideas have been running across my mind and want to give it due justice. One idea is the thought of being offended. What does it mean when you are offended or someone offends you?
What people say about others usually says far more about that person than really about you or anyone else they are talking about. People complain they are offended. The crime for giving an offense is taken to the one that has been offended. A multicultural society (the melting pot) needs insensitivity training (thicker skin) rather than sensitivity (thin skin) training in etiquette when speaking or listening. The offensive nature of the offense in free societies is taking a turn, and government is becoming more comfortable in regulating its citizens of free speech, thoughts and jokes and this is not diversity.
Some will even find this blog to be offensive because it challenges our thoughts. When we become offended, we need to stop and look at what are we being offended about. Often times it is our misunderstanding of what we have not learned, and it challenges our thinking. When we become offended then we put labels on the offense, so we can recognize it later and know not to deal with whatever it was we felt offended about.
For example, atheists and Christians can be an example of groups who find themselves easily offended. Atheists can be offended by what Christians do and vice versa. Now, I am not siding with the atheists and I am not siding with the Christians (bear with me as I explain this point of view and I will not apologize if this offends you because you took the step in reading this blog). Atheists rationalize their thoughts and become offended by Ten Commandments on public property. Christians can take an offense by viewing it as a threatening to take a religious symbol out of public view. Who is right or wrong? Neither is right nor wrong.
Each has a valid point and view and advantage point to consider. Instead of both groups faulting each other as being offensive, why not look at common ground? Is the Ten Commandments offensive? No; then what is offensive? It is the attitude in which one presents their side of the argument. No one is looking at the other’s side in viewing an understanding. Instead each group digs in heels in pushing back and claims we are offended. Would it not be best to look at it as challenging each other thoughts? Has society become lazy in not wanting to think, but allowing easier thinking to avail by not wanting to deal with it? It does not make sense to dig in and fight about it. It takes more time and effort to fight than it is to come to a common ground.
Christians should be careful in public display by asking what purpose it serves in displaying the Ten Commandments. Atheists should be careful by asking what harm it does to me by viewing literature. Instead, one person from each group can go awry and ruin it for the entire group and therefore, a negative taste, thoughts and ideas become warheads that are ready to cause world war three without considering all the facts. Common ground: Ten Commandments serve as a moral reminder that law keeps order. What if we did not have you will not commit murder in our own laws? Then that would give you a right to kill everyone. Instead, it challenges our thinking.
John Stuart Mill wrote a book entitled, “On Liberty” and provides a unique perspective on opinions and offenses. His approach: “never take silence to be taken as a wrong opinion because it is depriving ourselves of being challenged by our beliefs we take to be true. If we do not challenge our beliefs, we become stale and holding them becomes a matter of routine. There could always be someone who finds something offensive. If by “offense," we mean something to be found annoying, then there’s always something to be offensive rather than annoying.” It is often those opinions are part of the majority and rely on invective in order to silence their interlocutors. Therefore, it is best to quit accusing others and opinions of being offensive and engage in each other's' good and find common ground.
We are all in the game of life that we have become either a filter or a projection of each other’s life’s experiences and created our own built-in reactions. Therefore, this is not to take emotion or feelings out of the picture and dehumanize life by alleviating our intimacy for relationship, rather a call to focus that every time we are offended we can actually be misunderstanding. This allows the room to breathe from the detached reactions of people around us. Think about how often you react to a statement and becoming offended rather than seeing that the other might actually not have a complete understanding, or they are hurt? Their hurt caused them to lash out, which might find us to be offended. Maybe you got the birdie? Ever stop thinking that you unintentionally cut someone off? You offended them and now you are offended by the birdie? See the cycle?
Dig deep into yourself and ask what is it that really you find offensive? Does it challenge your thinking? Our inherent worth being not concluded by what is said, but by rather what is being done or believed. We can walk away without having to force our opinions and ideas that we are a good and worthy person. The challenge is finding a place in this world to be content regardless of what other people do, say, think or believe. The art of not being offended is a lost skill, and it may take a lifetime to practice. It is a kept secret to living a happy life.
Feel offended for a challenging thought? I hope so! Let’s not become offended, but rather challenge our core beliefs and find an understanding moment without judgment. Then, can the lion and the lamb truly come together without being offended by each other’s differences. We coexist to protect the innocent and the innocent to teach us not to be so prideful. Bottom line, question deeply about what offends you.
We have to get past our views and humble ourselves to see the other side. It's amazing to get off the defense and stand in awe that what we once was offended at becomes and understanding that we are all human beings. Much more can be accomplished if we can grow from our misunderstanding, let down our pride, open our minds and less finger pointing then there would be less offenses, less forgivness and more understanding and appreciation for life.
Offenses does not look for the true meaning. Being offended stunts our growth and does not allow us to see our short commings. Becoming offended has its own hidden agenda that often backfires when common ground is met. Think about it! If I am offended and you are offended where does our offense get us if we are both on the defense?
By Faith (Forging Attitude In Trusting Him)
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