Fear is a habit, so is self-pity, defeat, anxiety, despair, hopelessness and resignation. You can eliminate all of these negative habits with two simple resolves," I can! and I will!" (author unknown)
It was a warm afternoon before “supper”. Supper is a country term for a city term called “Dinner”. I was on my grandmother’s farm near Hermleigh, Texas and like a typical 12 year old, I was running around the farm. There it was hidden in the grass and I almost stepped on it with my bare feet. I jumped at least 6 feet into the air and ran into the house.
“Spider!” I yelled. Now you have to understand Texas; it is true that everything is bigger in Texas. This spider appeared to be as large as a tea cup saucer. Okay, that began my fear of spiders, which later I overcame. I can now kill spiders for those ladies who are scared of spiders. However, tarantulas, like the one in Texas, are a different story. I let them live since they are an endangered species.
"Fearless" is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. ~Taylor Swift
We get behind the wheel of a car, bike, or we walk knowing we have control over our destination. Sometimes we do this without thinking of the consequences or we rationalize that nothing negative will happen to me.
However, for some of us, we can get on an airplane and not have control of flying but know with confidence that we can get to our destination without the fear of crashing.
Fear develops in our minds and we choose our fears. We can develop them or address them. Some fears developed by a lack of understanding; some fears developed by threatening situations that can kill or hurt us. Some fears are developed by experiences.
Getting over fear is challenging and Dr. Dennis O’Grady (Psy.D) states there are five reasons that hamper change from his “Tools2Use”:
1. Fear of the unknown – the unspoken message “you will lose control”
2. Fear of failure – there is a chance to fail
3. Fear of commitment – Commitment forces us to answer tough questions
4. Fear of disapproval – Fear of rejection if others do not like the new change
5. Fear of success – fear of new demands
How do you handle fear? First, ask yourself and be truthful about where you are right now. Are you in a place that brings you to life? Are you allowing yourself to go where you want to be? Do you have the freedom and adventure for you to be who you really want to be?
There is a desire to have control in our life. We feel we must be in control in order to prevent being hurt. Sometimes, control is a positive and rewarding factor. Fear induces the need to control when something is happening in your life.
When something is out of our norm of life expectations we tend to want to control. This is a self-imposed and self-taught lie we feed upon every day. We believe we must be in control in order for our lives to be the way we desire and that implies we know what exactly is good and what is not good.
Control is important to us because we do not trust on the reliance of God that it will turn out just fine. Therefore, we must understand we cannot direct our steps (Jeremiah 10:23). We must look to the wisdom and counsel of the One (Proverbs 19:20-21) and allows his light in (Proverbs 20:27) in order for Him to make our paths straight (Proverbs 3:6).
Let go of trying to control things because you are in fear. Sit back and have confidence that things will eventually work out if you let the control belong to the Creator and not yourself. It is a constant battle in not wanting to be in control when you enter into unknown realms of inexperience. If you feel the need to control, then prayer is the control of releasing life into the Creator.
By Faith,
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