Fear - The Plow To Our Hardened Mind

You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.  ~Mary Manin Morrissey

What does the word fear invoke?  For some it relishes the past as a plow does to a harden ground. The plow toils the memories of the past and brings to the surface what was hidden below. Fear is like a spider that spins a web, which often snares our feelings and feeds on our thoughts until all our energy is zapped from us until we are nothing, but a hollow shell. 

There are literally over a thousand types of phobias. Like the fear of gamophobia, this is a fear of marriage/commitment. There is a phobia name for fear itself. According to Webster, the term fear is “the feeling or condition of being afraid.”  Sometimes our fear paralyzes us in moving forward and takes away opportunities of a rich blessing. 

  Fear cannot take what you do not give it.  ~Christopher Coan

I enjoy watching the movie, “Monsters Inc.”  If you haven’t seen the first movie, let me encourage you to watch it. Fears can stem from childhood and think about those ugly monsters lurking under the bed or in the closets. Movies are big hits on scaring people with their thrillers.  For some, we enjoy the thrill of a scare like haunted houses and on October 31 it becomes the most frightful night that we enjoy the most. It’s because we expect it. We know it is coming. 

I am afraid of heights. Yes, I know I am 6ft and I am tall, but still afraid of heights. I remember, when I was younger, walking with my uncle in the mall on the second floor where the glass railing protected you from falling to the first floor. Yet, he would scoop me up into his arms that would protect me; it was the fear of seeing the first floor from the second, which scared me. I didn’t see him coming to lift me up into his arms and it began my fear of heights. Yes, I admire those who are short because you don’t have far to fall. 

There is the fear being unsuccessful, or the fear of the unknown about our future. We fear the pain of loss and I “fear” we have created the fear of feeling loved. It is a paradox as babies we want to feel close to our parents. Yet, we fear the most important aspect of our life; we fear the feeling of being close to someone. We relish our memories of holding on to “stuff” in order we keep the fear of losing that memory of someone we cherish. For the extreme some become hoarders, but for some of us, like myself, I hold onto my first dog collar that has his rabies tag and engraved name.  He was a very precious dog that I was able to as a child not fear; because he was there to comfort me. 

Fear is an emotion and it is what clenches us from having a foothold of being at our best as a human being. Fear cannot capture what we do not feed it.   Easier said than done, but it can be done if we can only begin to understand the concept to our fear. 

Those that walk with fear will always be too busy hiding. ~Mike Dolan

Our future wears the mask of the unknown and often paralyzes us to move forward. Most of us are hiding within ourselves; like turtles in a shell we remain safe inside where we cannot be touched. Often some state, “God is not here, He can’t help me, but Jeremiah 29:11 says, “I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Elijah was fearful and he hid in the cleft of the rock and the Creator showed Himself to Elijah. Fear inhabits our walk and developing our faith of not walking by sight.

The wise man in the storm prays God, not for safety from danger, but for deliverance from fear.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Relationships can be complicated; even relationships where we have been hurt. We want to hide in the negativity of our thoughts and not develop anything positive for the future. Fear becomes like a darkroom. Like old cameras that had film, fear develops the negatives.  Negative thoughts stops our feet from moving forward, even though we can see the light peering through. 

Men have inflicted pain and therefore we become fearful of experiencing pain. Some have inflicted emotional pain, physical pain and it becomes a challenge to move forward in any relationship. Some fear the intimacy because it is too close and feeling vulnerable. 

I’ve been there once in my life through the relationships I have encountered. There was my fear of being rejected, being alone and the fear of not feeling accepted or loved. My fear of being too close all stemmed from relationships where there was pain. It stunted my growth and my focus was on fear. It didn’t allow me to develop. After exposing my fears to the light, I began working on developing wonderful pictures of the moments.  

Fear was no longer my darkroom where I could hide. I embrace fear. Fear is now my friend. It grows my spirit of trusting in the Creator that he has this. Fear, if I let it, robs me of the potential of doing something great. My fear is off myself. I no longer am a victim to the past events, but I emerge from the darkroom with a beautiful picture of what could be because I see potential relationships, which God intended. 

Instead of fearing my past; I had to learn to develop healthy boundaries of self-respect. I had to learn to understand that some of what happened was my own miscommunication and lack of understanding of the person. Emotions can hold us back from enjoying the best relationship that the Creator has intended for us to have with our companions. 

Captivating my thoughts and making them obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5) enabled me to have a voice to scream in prayer to my Creator that He is in control. Our thoughts is not throwing them into the jail of our mind, it is setting them free against the truth of God’s reality and not ours. Total freedom comes from knowing His word demolishes our lies and inaccurate thoughts. 

I taught myself a lie about relationships that no one wants to be close to me and if I let them be close to me they will hurt me. Instead, I had to reevaluate and understand that I teach people how I wanted to be treated. My fear taught others that I didn’t want them to be close to me; but reality I wanted them to be close to me. I had to realize not everyone is the same and when I made a list (using scripture) about who to share my life with, and then the truth was revealed. It is Him who sends the rain, the bows and ultimately our companion as long as we leave the lust of the flesh confined.

Do my thoughts about this person bring me closer to God? Do my thoughts about this person honor God? Surround yourself with those who support those feelings of moving towards God. Ask yourself if that person will help you walk by faith or by sight? 

Learn to listen to words. In 1 Kings 16 Samson’s first words were recorded, “I found a woman” and from there he had woman troubles. Delilah found the source of his weakness because he was weak for a woman he found attractive on the outside and not the inside. 

His word says he has put a light in each of us. It will be revealed. Expose your fears to the light and embrace the unknown knowing you have a Creator that is bigger and can work through the pain you possess. I had to learn to be intimate with God, accept me being wonderfully made in spite of my flaws, and know through prayer He delivers me from Fear. 

Where is your relationship with the creator? Is it damaged because the god of this world invoked pain into your life? The Creator is a parent and like good parents they want the best for their children. Embrace the Father; you will learn to embrace yourself and in return; love will embrace you.  Life is worth living if you do not let fear of past relationships stop you from embracing healthy ones. 

Judy Blume, author: “Each of us must confront our own fears, must come face to face with them. How we handle our fears will determine where we go with the rest of our lives. To experience adventure or to be limited by the fear of it.”   

Father, you are my Light and my Savior, so why should I be afraid of anyone? Lord, you are where my life is safe, so I will be afraid of no one (Psalms 27:1). 

Remember to build your faith on trusting Him. You will be amazed how far you can walk, where you can walk and who is walking by your side. 

By Faith (Forging Attitude In Trusting Him), 

Nine Innings of Life

My favorite time of the year is finally here. Yes, it is fall, but more than that, the World Series! It is

especially fun knowing your team is on the way once again. I was able to go to the St Louis Cardinals World Series game in 2011, Game 2. What a wow factor to be in the stands cheering on your team in a sea of red. In Game 7 they won the 2011 World Series.
Can you imagine if you were in the middle of the field and the entire stadium was cheering for you? I wonder if life would be easy having all those cheers encouraging you and motivating you to do your best. However, amongst all the cheering, there is likely also one shouting “boo,” especially when something goes wrong and or someone dislikes you and wants to let you know.

How is baseball like life?

 

First, there are rules. Outs are defined by a list of criteria. Hits are determined by the parameters of the ball diamond. Nine innings constitute a full game, but there is no time limit and not knowing when the game will end. On rare occasions those innings are expanded. Like the game for St Louis against the LA Dodgers on October 11, 2013, playing until the 13th inning.  Sometimes rules are boundaries. In every relationship healthy boundaries are mandatory. Boundaries are established to ensure the safety of each person that enters into the relationship. Crossing boundaries may violate the other person; the rule was broken. Someone may be an enabler to an alcoholic, providing the drink, and before you know it the ninth inning is here, the final pitch thrown and the game is over with the final out. Someone may have lost their life to substance abuse; the other enabled by supporting the habit and did not do anything by calling a time-out for help. Know your boundaries and stick to them. Be open in your relationship about your boundaries and respect the other person’s boundaries as well.

 Second, a group of players makes up the team: pitchers, catchers, basemen, out-fielders, etc.  Together, they become the team, individual players that work together to win the game. They fight together through the last inning of the game, hoping for victory against their opponent. A team can be a group of people or a select few in your life that are your cheerleaders: family members, co-workers, your work-out buddy or even your minister. Whoever it may be, your close circle of supporters, it is necessary to have that one who will help you know when to steal a base, to take that chance and to hold you accountable. It is also important to have those team members to help you to know when to stay on base or slide when in danger. A team comes together and cheers you on. However, the coach’s job is to play fair and to give you that extra advice needed to play the best game.

Third, there are “umpires” or enforcers to keep you on the straight and narrow path. It is interesting how the umpire calls strikes, balls, outs, and tosses unruly players and spectators out of the game. Umpires are those people in our life that helps our conscious be safe. In life, you may run across people similar to an umpire that makes a ruling or a judgment call that is not satisfactory to you. If you are an umpire in someone’s life be very careful. If you happen to judge someone by what others say, how will you truly understand who they really are? If you think you know everything about that person before giving them an opportunity to show you otherwise, you are selling yourself and the other person short. It is always best to examine your own character first and think about how you are going to approach that person, giving them the benefit, before judging them.

Fourth, there are judgment calls. Umpires have to train and make judging calls against a foul, a strike, safe, out, ball or a time out call. They call it as they see it and are sometimes wrong. There is nothing worse than an umpire making a quick determination and later finding out he was wrong. A spectator may think he saw the opposite of the umpire’s call and “boo” out to the field, but a replay of action will either correct the spectator or the umpire. Think carefully before making a judgment call. It is a challenge to contain our thoughts. Therefore, do not judge others by your own thoughts. Everyone is living a different life than you are. What you feel is right for you may not be right for them. Life’s curveballs, right or wrong, can be the best hit for another person. Sometimes we have to allow others to make their own mistakes and own decisions. Sometimes our mistakes can be a blessing for them. 

Fifth, there are mistakes made during a ball game. Baseball players make mistakes. Whether they decide to throw to first base, when the easy out was at second can be a costly mistake. What do we remember? The mistake or the game they won? We all make mistakes, however, do not harbor the mistakes of another person. Those thoughts are cancerous and can consume you. One negative may destroy a mountain of positives. I learned from a mentor a long time ago the following saying: “If you look at the bad in a person, there is enough to hate them. If you look at the good in a person, there is enough to love them.” If people are truly trying to play the game fairly, then allow the memory of the fun times to remain and expulse the mistake. Often a team member decides to move on. It is a difficult choice of letting go of someone you truly admire. Capture those moments in life and remember the good about them.

Sixth, there are always disrupters during a game. What do you do with the squirrels on the outfield or the streakers, both which disrupt the games? Granted they can create bad memories, but if you understand the bad, which happens in your life, and release it through forgiveness, you can enjoy the rest of the game. One can play the victim and complain they were taken advantage of or become the victor and look at it all as part of the game and focus on the positive moments, like when your team won. Even when you lose a game, it becomes part of who you are because of the experience.

Seventh, there are sacrifices made for the benefit of the team. Often times our team member sacrifices themselves to get a runner home. In life, our sacrifices are similar. Parents sacrifice for their children. Spouses should sacrifice for each other. Sacrificing is putting aside your intentions for that moment to yield for another person to live in their intention for that moment.  This creates a team; it causes a bond.

Eighth, stealing bases is encouraged in baseball. A player has to leave first base and steal second, or gamble leaving third base for home plate to score. Stealing bases takes risks in a chance to advance to the next base. In life, opportunities come along and you need to decide if you are going to “steal ahead” to move forward in your life, taking a chance you are making the right decision. It is a gamble that requires careful thought and maybe sacrifice.  Sometimes ‘stealing to get ahead’ is discouraged.  Stealing a base or “taking a risk” allows you to advance your faith. Peter took that chance of ‘stealing the chance’ to walk on water. His faith grew because he took the chance to walk, where no human had been able to in the past. Don’t forget there are signs in baseball, from coaches and other team members, who point and give you the go ahead to advance. Watch for what God is doing in your life, so that you can advance.

Ninth, there are strikes and there are outs. Baseball players are real on the field. There isn’t anywhere to hide, but in the dugout.  The most valuable endowment we can give those closest to us is honesty. Yet we often suppress our true selves from friends, dreading we won't be acknowledged or loved if we let them see the real us. Often, we show parts of ourselves that conceal who we really are. If we hide too much behind false images, we run the risk of losing track of what is real and what is false. We become actors instead of real people, trying to please others. Sometimes we strike out in people’s lives. Sometimes when we get caught not being who we are to be, then we could be out of that person’s life.

When we overpower our fear of letting others in, we are able to see ourselves honestly. To know and accept you is to be a person of value. Life is too short to be lived in hiding. Accept yourself for who you are and embrace the freedom and live life being honest to yourself and others. You are one of life’s Most Valuable Players.  Be known as a MVP in life! Now, let’s get out there and play ball. The inning has just begun and in the end of our life the World Series begins!

By faith (Forging Attitude In Trusting Him)

By faith (Forging Attitude In Trusting Him)