A Boxed Mind - How To Open It Up.

The limit to what we can recognize is the margin to our liberty. (SHudgins)

Why are children fascinated by boxes? We can decorate them and become robots for Halloween. We store things away in them. We move our things from one place to the next. It holds everything we may or may not need. 

Our mind is like a box. We hide things we do not want to confront. We store things we do not use. We move information in and out of our mind. We can get rid of useless appointments, but we seem to hold onto self-aversion.  We hold onto pain as if it were a security blanket. 

Our mind can often confine God into a small box in order to try to understand or limit His abilities to our standards. The box tries to make sense out of the nonsense and chaos in order for there to be some peace. It is like He becomes a Genie when things go wrong. We wish the wrong would not happen and for Him to make it right by our demands and terms. 

When there is hurt a wall is put up. Soon there are feelings of being confined to the box in our mind. In relationships, sometimes there is a feeling we are stuck in not being able to do anything about it. The lid to the box is the thoughts: should’ve, could’ve, won’t, cant and it will close you inside like the jack-in-a-box.  The box contains these four walls, which are often formed by our thoughts: 

• 1^st wall: Feelings of unhappiness, but feeling there is nothing that would make you happy.

• 2^nd wall: Feeling of failure and no one will ever love or accept you.

• 3^rd wall: Feelings of seclusion by unable to tell anyone your thoughts, because you will be judged or they would be disappointed in you.

• 4^th wall: Feelings of being unworthy because you feel you can't do anything right. 

When you feel discouraged, hopeless, angry or frustrated sometimes you could be boxed in and feeling alone; unable to express your feelings without rejection. Shutting down and not talking is putting yourself in a box, when there can be clarity through the misunderstanding between you and the other person.  Pushing other people away or not allowing others to become close to you is being in the box. 

Our mind produces such strength which affects our mood. How you relate those thoughts to yourself can be uplifting or condemning. Continuous flow of negative thoughts with self-criticism results in a care-free attitude. These thoughts create undo stress. Stress induces the body to react to itself by becoming sick with headaches or weakening the immune system. 

How can we get out of the box?

•  Be self-aware. If you are shutting down and pushing others away by being in a silent moment or the feeling unworthy, then find that one person who is always willing to listen to you. 

• Challenge your wall by taking the thought: “I can’t”. Write out your obstacles. Write out ways around them and create positive statements. Say those positive statements to counter act the negative thoughts.

• Peek outside the box and stimulate your visual sense of the positive successes you have had. Like a photograph of positive memories.

• Reward yourself and celebrating the successes you do have. Write out those steps and create the motivation to initiate the momentum of moving forward.

Finally, be open to new things. Step outside your comfort zone and look outside and reach out to others who are outside of their box. Create your own rules and don’t let them define you.  Going after your dream and failing is a less of a risk than not going after it and having a negative thought of never knowing what could have been. It is easy to be boxed in. It is harder to fight for your dreams and hopes, but you will begin to realize how precious life truly is. 

Changing your perspective on your experiences will free you from everyone else’s insecurities that are projected onto you. It is true the world we live in has high demands and we are expected to be the best. However, we can fear and hide in a box or we can overcome them by thinking differently and choosing not to fear. Love is the motivating factor. It is the gas to the car that will help you run the course of your life with momentum that you are a valuable player in this game of life. 

“We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face… we must do that which we think we cannot.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

May you continually forge your attitude in trusting Him and not be boxed in by self-defeating thoughts. I have found prayer is the key of keeping me out of the box.

By Faith, 

What Are You Responsbile For .....?

“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

Responsibility is not a superpower to vanish the wrong or a way to elevate oneself above how they feel about themselves. Responsibility according to Webster means: “Something that you should do because it is morally right or legally required.” I don’t want to go into semantics of the word responsibility. An analogy of a police officer that has a responsibility has to legally uphold the law and capture those who have broken it. Take the word responsibility and break the word into two words. Response and ability, then it will provide a new meaning and understanding. There is an ability in how we respond to others, which enables us to be responsible in regards to self-regulation.

There is some reading this blog entry and may be already concocting thoughts that I am wrong without fully reading what I am writing. Please, stop and process and really give this some thought.   There is some laziness, which has permeated throughout Christianity by believing in what men have written or have preached from their “sermon on the hill”, without processing (reading for oneself) it to the written Truth (the bible).  Yes, we all see and read and in act upon it the way we view it, but debating isn’t the way to do it and that will be reserved for future debate and do not want to distract from the true meaning of this article.

Sometimes, I am frustrated with those who express they are Christians. It is as if they take responsibility as a crown to judge or point out the injustices or idiosyncrasy in others and often to make themselves look better than where they really are. The bible isn’t to be a smoking gun, where you bang out scriptures to nail people as a crucified savior. When I confront some of them, they express, “I am only human and I make mistakes.” Some express, “read the bible it gives me the right to point out your living wrong and I am to confront you.” The flip side of the coin, because it is often out of retaliation or reaction of hurt, some express, “Christians are hypocrites and why should I become one?”

The responsibility is not pointing out the wrong in others, or to judge them by the way they are or are not living. It isn’t to compare others to ourselves or ourselves to others based upon the outward appearance, material wealth, or popularity. The responsibility is not in making things right. The responsibility is not in the apology, when things are wrong. The responsibility lies deep within the heart to nourish others, accept them for who they are and where they are at the moment in life. When responsibility is taken away, then it becomes inward of self-regulation.

If we can take a moment and sift out the way we were raised, taught, things we have read, our experiences, what do we have left to make an informed decision? It appears everything influences everything. It is like a drop of water from a faucet and then placing it into the ocean. It can be overwhelming to try to separate the drop from the ocean. Yet, somehow the drop seems to manage its way back to the faucet and the cycle repeats itself.

Very deep thinking has to take place to captivate those thoughts and make them obedient to Christ (2 Cor 10:5). What then is our ability to respond that is the responsibility to others? We are the drop from the faucet being placed into an ocean of people. It is realizing we are no different than others. What makes us different is what we allow to make us different. Water into Ice, Water into steam, salt water to drinking water or water pressurized to cut diamonds. People can become harden like ice that they are felt used. People can become angry like steam and burn those who come around. There are some willing to change to serve others like salt water made into drinking water.

What then is a human’s responsibility to others, regardless if one is or isn’t a Christian? It isn’t to point out the flaws in others. We all have a past. Reading a pathological therapist report can skew how I view that individual in how I treat them. To help an individual would evaluate first by getting to know the individual and processing their behaviors, choices and actions. Then, process how that individual is or isn’t being influenced by the environment and social realms. The ability to reason provides a response, in which then becomes my responsibility to help the individual without telling them they are wrong. Loving the individual and assisting them by walking them through a journey provides a nurturing environment to choose if they want to continue to be ice and steam or become something productive to nourishing others around them.  

When I read daily in His word, I do not see a Savior in the bible that points out sinner’s faults, but instead sees them as human beings that need to feel accepted, loved and cherished. The approach He uses is taking the eyes off themselves by His kind words and actions, and then redirects their eyes on Him. In this approach people are healed. It relinquishes the urge to feel it is my responsibility to be quick judge or to point out faults in others. Instead, I am called to evaluate myself to His actions and then to encourage and uplift others.

This is not a cookie cutter approach. It takes prayer and understanding to become responsible in the journey of your own life, as well as how you influence others around you.  I read in the bible of a woman that was caught in adultery. I read of a Savior, who bent to her eye level, wrote in the sand, and then stood up to face the accusers. Her accusers (who felt they were responsible to quickly judge and blame) left one by one, until no one was left standing.  I see a Savior that took a loving approach to help heal an individual lost in herself and made her whole again, without casting a stone of judgment (even when by law He was too).

One can be like the accusers and feel responsible to constantly throw stones or one can have an ability to respond like the Savior. It is easy to become part of a lynch mob, absorb biases of others gossips about someone else and quickly point out the faults in others. It is a lot more work to investigate the situation and form our own conclusion about the situation. True, some say we can never be like the Savior that judges hearts, but we can be the Savior that uplifts the spirits from their hurt. What will be your responsibility to mankind: A stone thrower or a bridge builder of stones to restoring bridges to healthy living?

Whether you prevail or fail, endure or die, depends more on what you do to yourself than on what the world does to you.” (Jim Collins)

By Faith (Forging Attitude in Trusting Him)