Missing out....... That's just plain Nuts!

 Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed. ~~Lily Tomlin

Have you ever felt like a squirrel on the hunt for the right nut? Okay, maybe not, but have you seen the movie “The Nut Job” or “Ice Age”? It seems they chase and try to find, but keep missing out on the one nut which may make them happy. 

You sit and watch television and what is the new appeal? You’re missing out on a great product. Try something new. We have become a society that has become a consumerism society with too many choices. There is impulsive buying that entices you to pick up and buy. Such ideas are like the products on the end caps in the retail stores to get you to buy this product even when it isn’t on your list. 

Maybe you are like me and single and looking for that one nut. Maybe, nut is not the right term here, but I am trying to keep it light and simple with humor. Do you ever get the feeling you’re missing out? 

What about those plaguing questions that often can turn into guilt or remorse: would have, should have, could have, these questions plagues the mind like a house infested with termites. It can eat away at you and could lead to being depressed.  Harboring such thoughts only makes the boat not sea worthy. 

We can get into a “funk” and feel like something is missing in our life and we jump to the first item that seems to make us happy. There is an itch that seems we need to fix it right away. Often it is our mind that plays the tricks on us to make us feel hungry and we need to satisfy that sweet tooth with a candy bar. Ever done impulsive buying? Yup! Right there in the Wal-Mart checkout stand staring right at your face is a nice cool drink, even though you’re five minutes from the house, but you have to have it. Sure, it was good and it is okay to embellish, but not to a point where there are regrets of feelings of missing out. 

Most of the descriptions above, could define me as a person in the past. My faith was put on the anvil and I had to learn to f(orge) (my) A(ttitude) I(n) T(usting) H(im). I had to learn to set healthy boundaries in place in order to keep my mind pure and not judgmental. Finally, I had to let go of control and allow Him to guide me. I have found myself more content in my life with peace. How did I do it and not feel like I am missing out?

It wasn’t easy and life circumstances took a toll on me. Cancer, but no worries, I am cancer free! Cancer taught me to change my thinking (2 Cor 5:10) and had to captivate my thoughts and make them obedient to Christ. Second, I had to learn to give my desires to the Father and let Him guide me (Ps 37:4).  Third, I had to renew my mind (Rom 12:2). Finally, I had to learn to be content (Phil 4:11) and not jump to conclusions.

To stop missing out means I had to change my thoughts. Meaning, music that I once liked, had to change because words do have an effect on the mind. If you listen to words of “I am ashamed of who I become”, and others may put you down or say you’re not good enough, only adds up in your subconscious of the way you begin to view yourself.  Music is healing and words can change your outlook of your life. I enjoy Christian music because it is uplifting and positive.  It plants hope. Yes, there is other music, which can do the same and I am only writing what has helped me. 

Learning to be content in all things is a tough lesson. Rome wasn’t built overnight and neither are we as individuals. Living in a society where we want more “stuff” or biggie size to make us feel better doesn’t work. Most are overweight because they are drawn to the food that enables them to crave more. We have DVRs because we don’t want to miss our favorite shows. Okay, well I have to admit DVR was a good invention so you can bypass those commercials. 

Missing out sometimes means learning from your mistakes and learning there has to be sacrifices to be made. Blended families can be challenging because your biological child has a concert while your step-child has a football game. Will someone be hurt? Depends on how the situation is handled and how supportive both parents are to the children. Missing out sometimes means sacrificing we “think” we want, but realizing our actions are hurting others. 

Missing out sometimes is letting go of a person you truly love and admire and allowing them to go through a painful discovery about themselves all the while you are praying over them. Missing out means to let go of the control and allowing your faith in the Creator to lead you. This is painful, but I learned to embrace it and not be fearful of pain. 

We fear pain because we do not understand it. We fear pain because we don't like the feeling. We ask the questions of why or we do not have the answers to have closure. Missing out is learning to let go and be patient about certain things in life. The bottom line is learning to sacrifice your desires and wants in order to embrace a more peaceful contentment of knowing things can turn out alright. It is allowing the other person room to experience their choices, even when it is challenging to watch them hurt. Now granted not saying to watch them embrace substances that continue to harm them. Tough love has to be in effect and get them help.

Missing out is learning to embrace who you are and lean not on your own understanding. Sometimes it is learning to let someone you love and care about go. If it was meant to be they will come back. If they choose not to come back, then you embrace the moment and cherish the good moments.

Love is when he gives you a piece of your soul, that you never knew was missing (Torquato Tasso)

How I look at things determines what I see. I can choose to look at the negative in people and not like them. If I choose to find the positive in people, and draw that out in them by my own actions and reactions there is enough to like a person. Is a glass really half full or empty? At least you have something in the glass.

When we learn to let go, compromise, make those sacrifices, we may miss out. Confidence grows in Christ with the attitude we can do all things through Him, who strengthens me. Change is scary. It is easy to embrace the familiarity of an abusive, predictable person, than to embrace a warm loving relationship. It is learning to reevaluate the core belief system in you. Don’t miss out on life by clinging on unhealthy thoughts and way of doing things because that is what you have learned to embrace. Love is amazing when it is accepted. Embracing change sometimes misses out on the abusive situation, but allows you to see a wonderful relationship engulfed in love.

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Thank you for not missing out on this blog. I write from my heart and my experiences and pray you will find encouragement. Be uplifted, there are some things worth missing out on. Find a balance in your life and not become squirrelly in chasing after a NUT! Step back and evaluate. When you take your eyes off that one nut, there was a bigger pile behind it. Refocus your thoughts. Sometimes it is okay to miss out. 

By Faith, 

Forging my Attitude In Trusting Him may you find peace and happiness.

 

What Are You Responsbile For .....?

“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

Responsibility is not a superpower to vanish the wrong or a way to elevate oneself above how they feel about themselves. Responsibility according to Webster means: “Something that you should do because it is morally right or legally required.” I don’t want to go into semantics of the word responsibility. An analogy of a police officer that has a responsibility has to legally uphold the law and capture those who have broken it. Take the word responsibility and break the word into two words. Response and ability, then it will provide a new meaning and understanding. There is an ability in how we respond to others, which enables us to be responsible in regards to self-regulation.

There is some reading this blog entry and may be already concocting thoughts that I am wrong without fully reading what I am writing. Please, stop and process and really give this some thought.   There is some laziness, which has permeated throughout Christianity by believing in what men have written or have preached from their “sermon on the hill”, without processing (reading for oneself) it to the written Truth (the bible).  Yes, we all see and read and in act upon it the way we view it, but debating isn’t the way to do it and that will be reserved for future debate and do not want to distract from the true meaning of this article.

Sometimes, I am frustrated with those who express they are Christians. It is as if they take responsibility as a crown to judge or point out the injustices or idiosyncrasy in others and often to make themselves look better than where they really are. The bible isn’t to be a smoking gun, where you bang out scriptures to nail people as a crucified savior. When I confront some of them, they express, “I am only human and I make mistakes.” Some express, “read the bible it gives me the right to point out your living wrong and I am to confront you.” The flip side of the coin, because it is often out of retaliation or reaction of hurt, some express, “Christians are hypocrites and why should I become one?”

The responsibility is not pointing out the wrong in others, or to judge them by the way they are or are not living. It isn’t to compare others to ourselves or ourselves to others based upon the outward appearance, material wealth, or popularity. The responsibility is not in making things right. The responsibility is not in the apology, when things are wrong. The responsibility lies deep within the heart to nourish others, accept them for who they are and where they are at the moment in life. When responsibility is taken away, then it becomes inward of self-regulation.

If we can take a moment and sift out the way we were raised, taught, things we have read, our experiences, what do we have left to make an informed decision? It appears everything influences everything. It is like a drop of water from a faucet and then placing it into the ocean. It can be overwhelming to try to separate the drop from the ocean. Yet, somehow the drop seems to manage its way back to the faucet and the cycle repeats itself.

Very deep thinking has to take place to captivate those thoughts and make them obedient to Christ (2 Cor 10:5). What then is our ability to respond that is the responsibility to others? We are the drop from the faucet being placed into an ocean of people. It is realizing we are no different than others. What makes us different is what we allow to make us different. Water into Ice, Water into steam, salt water to drinking water or water pressurized to cut diamonds. People can become harden like ice that they are felt used. People can become angry like steam and burn those who come around. There are some willing to change to serve others like salt water made into drinking water.

What then is a human’s responsibility to others, regardless if one is or isn’t a Christian? It isn’t to point out the flaws in others. We all have a past. Reading a pathological therapist report can skew how I view that individual in how I treat them. To help an individual would evaluate first by getting to know the individual and processing their behaviors, choices and actions. Then, process how that individual is or isn’t being influenced by the environment and social realms. The ability to reason provides a response, in which then becomes my responsibility to help the individual without telling them they are wrong. Loving the individual and assisting them by walking them through a journey provides a nurturing environment to choose if they want to continue to be ice and steam or become something productive to nourishing others around them.  

When I read daily in His word, I do not see a Savior in the bible that points out sinner’s faults, but instead sees them as human beings that need to feel accepted, loved and cherished. The approach He uses is taking the eyes off themselves by His kind words and actions, and then redirects their eyes on Him. In this approach people are healed. It relinquishes the urge to feel it is my responsibility to be quick judge or to point out faults in others. Instead, I am called to evaluate myself to His actions and then to encourage and uplift others.

This is not a cookie cutter approach. It takes prayer and understanding to become responsible in the journey of your own life, as well as how you influence others around you.  I read in the bible of a woman that was caught in adultery. I read of a Savior, who bent to her eye level, wrote in the sand, and then stood up to face the accusers. Her accusers (who felt they were responsible to quickly judge and blame) left one by one, until no one was left standing.  I see a Savior that took a loving approach to help heal an individual lost in herself and made her whole again, without casting a stone of judgment (even when by law He was too).

One can be like the accusers and feel responsible to constantly throw stones or one can have an ability to respond like the Savior. It is easy to become part of a lynch mob, absorb biases of others gossips about someone else and quickly point out the faults in others. It is a lot more work to investigate the situation and form our own conclusion about the situation. True, some say we can never be like the Savior that judges hearts, but we can be the Savior that uplifts the spirits from their hurt. What will be your responsibility to mankind: A stone thrower or a bridge builder of stones to restoring bridges to healthy living?

Whether you prevail or fail, endure or die, depends more on what you do to yourself than on what the world does to you.” (Jim Collins)

By Faith (Forging Attitude in Trusting Him)