Last message for 2011 Self Reflection

What an interesting year we have had. Many ups and downs this year has brought.

January the house was put up for sale. My first home with many memories, mixed emotions and a lot of blood, sweat and tears and bringing a 1974 house to modern times.  New flooring, new roof, new garage door w/opener, new vinyl siding, remodeled bathrooms, kitchen, fresh paint, new hot water tank, new doors inside and out, new air conditioner and new shed and landscaping.  There were many changes from 1996 to 2011. At the end of the month we celebrated Krista’s 12^th birthday.

February we had a record snow storm that dumped 22 inches of snow and closed down many businesses.  Fortunately I had a job that allowed me to stay at home and work.  The temperatures are -4 and the high was 25 during that first week in February.  At the end of the month we celebrated Jon’s 13^th birthday.  

March was an interesting and yet dangerous time of month with storms coming in and out. Fortunately, things were safe.  Our house was sold and we anticipated the months to come in our move into our new home. We were at a race to find a new home.

April was the packing month and getting things to storage and other items to pack. A little stressful in making bids on homes and so my thought was to pray your anxieties, problems, praises, concerns to the Father because He will support you and never let you be shaken (Ps 55:22, My paraphrase). I cannot explain the reasons verbally as to why my life is full of peace. Even though I may have anxieties and concerns my Shepherd makes me lie down in peace.

May we have a house and we signed on Cinco de Mayo.  Then took off to head to Virginia for a week and met wonderful friends and made one very close friend. Drove straight through and back 1020 miles and 17 hour drive.  Settled into our new home and started to hang up the art. So many things we take for granted. New blinds had to be ordered and hung up.  A fence to be built and alarm system installed. A wedding anniversary, daughter was an extra in a movie that was made here in Oklahoma, and several  tornadic storm which flew over the house and hit Joplin.

June was traveling through Missouri and drove through Joplin and it was a mess. Saw my first Major League Baseball game and had good barbeque in Kansas City, KS.  As a family we had family pictures made.  June was a peaceful month. Wrapping up school work and prepping for family vacation to Texas for a family reunion.  Middle of the month we celebrated Tanya’s birthday.

July is now here and half way through the year and now on a downhill slide to end 2011. We are on our way for a family vacation and family reunion to celebrate my grandmother’s 88^th birthday. A very hot month with record temps and the start of relentless 100 degree weather and at the end of the month we celebrated Daniel’s 9^th birthday.  Started a new businsess: UPLIFTING COUNSELING  & MEDIATION SERVICES.

August is exciting month because I started my internship.  I did last minute training in St Louis all in one day. We had to get the kids back to school supplies and get them ready for their new schools in Broken Arrow. Not much activity going on this month. Just prepping and trying to survive this 100 degree weather.

September brings some relief from the 45 days of 100 degree weather. We adopted two new additions to the family: Ninja (Russian Blue Cat) and Tigger (Tabby Cat).  Continued in my internship and able to shadow other therapists in clients home and received unforgettable training.  Middle of the month celebrated my mid-life birthday.

October was our fun month. We went to Oktoberfest, I was able to go to my first playoff game and see St Louis Cardinals lose to the Brewers with my Director from work.  Then went to my first World Series game and saw St Louis Cardinals lose to the Texas Rangers. I think I need to quit going to the 2^nd games because they seem to lose, but happy we won the World Series. Halloween happened.

November was another fun month. Traveled to see my wonderful Aunt and her family that I have not seen in over 20 years; but able to stay in touch via technology. Thanksgiving came and enjoyed the times we had in San Antonio and how much I missed being festive in San Antonio. Along the way was able to meet my friend from Liberty University, Austin Chen (Austin, Texas) and stopped in Dallas, to visit with cousins.

Finally, in December, the end of the month, and celebrated Amber’s 18^th birthday. Started to buy and wrap up presents. We have enjoyed being with the kids and enjoying the new home with our first Christmas. I received our first Christmas card from my parents after 4 years. Almost lost my mother and then my grandmother fell twice and broke her hip.

Reflection is good to see what you have been through and what has strengthened you. This is my last message for this year and I look forward to a New Year 2012. Remember even though you seem to have gone through a lot. One can endure when the mind is set on the focus. God has tremendously blessed me, with good family, friends, technology, a new house, a new career path. What has helped me to get through this year is prayer, family and a wonderful church family. I want to encourage you to find a church in your area to attend. Build that relationship and see what God can do for you. Even when things seem to go wrong, He blesses you twice over.  I have literature in the works that is being copyrighted and it is my prayer to share this message to you shortly.  May you have been blessed this year and into the next.

here is to the end of 2011!

By Faith (Forging Attitude In Trusting Him)

2012-Snakey Thoughts

Like a snake that slithers in the grass, so do the days of our lives. The thoughts that lurk in your “jungled” and entangled mind leap at you, swift as a rattlesnake, ready to bite. The venom strikes fast and furious, blurring your focus and draining your hope. The paralysis that overtakes your mind and body will need an anti-venom serum to counteract the damage.

The venom is your thoughts: “if only I had done this,” “what could I have done better,” “I should have done it this way,” “maybe if I had done more,” or “if I would have done this, then that could have happened;” these thoughts paralyze your momentum in life. It poisons your mind into thinking you cannot undo the wrong you have done. It poisons the mind into thinking you are never good enough.

Our thoughts can build us up or tear us down. How was your 2011 year? Are there thoughts of should haves, could haves, and if onlys that stymied you from potential growth? You are not alone in your thoughts. The venom that spreads is an illusion that we are alone; it is like a lion that cuts out the weakest animal.

How can you make 2012 a better year? It is not done by new resolutions. It is done by creating anti-venom to combat those negative and self-defeating thoughts. You already possess the power deep within to make this year better than the last.

First, recognize your past is gone. You cannot undo the past; you need to live in the present in such a way to positively affect your future. How? You may have a bad relationship that seems bound to stay the course. Do something different and unexpected to heal that relationship. Perhaps, you have mistaken their motives and actions by a venomous thought. Maybe, you have done the wrong, when you feel right, and that has caused you to lose focus. Sometimes venom has a way of causing us to become delusional in our thinking or lose our sight.

Second, understand what Christ spoke about being “wise as serpents and innocent as doves.” Think about the Garden of Eden and how the serpent was wise in his choice of words. It does not mean to trick others with words; it means you must carefully choose what you say to yourself. You can get caught up in the moment and forget the original thought that was spoken. God expressed to mankind not to eat of the tree and yet Eve, through her thoughts, added not to touch it. It is easy to add more thoughts and tell yourself a story.

Third, captivate those thoughts and make them obedient. If you feel you are not worthy, then captivate that thought. Investigate that thought with truth. Did you internalize someone else’s words, adding to your thoughts and creating false ideas? Take the time to step out of the forest and look at the facts.

Year 2012 can be a very good year. Think about it. Pray about it. Set up a few goals that are reachable. When crises hits, when thoughts want to derail you, take your time be like that dove and innocently process your thoughts. You can use these column headings to help out. Here is an example someone shared with me:


I feel     -- trapped, no way out.

My thought:  --  I felt trapped, no way out, like he is improving and I'll have to be stuck in this cage forever. He will always have some little thing that he is doing to make it better (even though it's always short term with no lasting impact), and I will always appear like the one who is unjustly and meanly walking away. Perhaps my thinking is delusional.

My Reaction:   -- To Withdraw

The Truth:  --  If I seek God and work towards bringing my life into alignment with Scripture, I do not need to worry about what other people, including my husband, might think of my actions. Christ sets me free, I am a child of God, not a slave, adopted and loved and He has provided people in my life that are not self-focused.


Working through your thoughts can help you come out of the forest and see the actual trees. You are a valuable person. This New Year 2012 be thoughtful and remember sometimes our situations are not always the worst. It is your venomous thoughts that paralyze your momentum while striving to do the best. Work through them with truth, be careful not to tell yourself a story and seize the day with good thoughts and actions. May this New 2012 Year be prosperous and productive! It is always good to reach out and to talk to someone.

By Faith (Forging Attitude In Trusting Him).

Scrooged -- A new carol!

Tis the season and some are like Scrooge, not caring and, in passing, offers a “ba humbug.” Others are like Tiny Tim, who through infirmities, can see a bright world with a glass full of surprises that keeps them entertained. Then there are those like Bob Cratchit, not letting the world implode, on who they are, replying, “Ah, oh thank you, sir! You’re so kind” even though they are mistreated or dealt a blow of life’s harshness.


You live in the world that every day is a carol. You sing praises for things that happen. You might sing insults at those who hurt you. You could sing in silence at a loss within your family or circle of friends. The impact of the world is like a nail driven into your heart and soul which can force you to be nailed down, feeling as though you cannot move. Other times you do not allow the nails to affect you and they go right through, but the holes leave an empty feeling inside.

The story “A Christmas Carol” is not for one time. It is a carol that sings into your life and pours out into the streets wherever you may go. Often we allow our human nature to distract and interfere, obsessing over past mistakes or we forget, not learning. The greatest sorrow in living in this evil world,is brought about more by apathy and negligence than hate.

You can have a dysfunctional family where untold secrets fill your closet with skeletons. You can hunker down and think no one cares or will know about the troubles you have seen. You can allow life to turn you into the Grinch or Scrooge. You may think Scrooge was a bad person, the villain. Not so, sadly, he was blinded by the environment he worked in and forgot how to live.

Scrooge’s nephew, Fred, refused to speak badly of Scrooge and invites his uncle for Christmas every year. Fred perseveres through all of Scrooge’s insults and spitefulness and in the end, plays a large redemptive role for Scrooge. Fred saw the hope and glimmer in his uncle that resides in each of us.

How do we let the Christmas Carol become the carol of our life?

1. Do not let your past get you down. Sure there might have been abuse, insults that rained down like acid, not receiving what you wanted, but it has made you into a beautiful, God-made creature. Do not hold grudges, it is like keeping the acid inside a bottle, doing more damage to the bottle than the external object. If they are trying to reach out to you, then meet them halfway and see what they bring into the relationship.

2. Build your present into something that can be used in the future. Volunteering at the Salvation Army yesterday was a humbling experience. Pushing the carts with groceries out to families’ cars and unloading them. When we serve others we build the present future. Who is to know how someone was impacted by the volunteers that intertwined in their lives? Even though it was just for a moment?

3. Live for the future. Today might be tough for you. Yet today sharpens your mind, increasing your wisdom and knowledge, so that you can build a better tomorrow.

The carol of this life is to provide genuine praise in recognizing the contributions of others. This is an investment which is not costly can bring a surprising return. Even in a disagreement, there is an opportunity for service. You are able to restore happiness in the relationship if you speak the truth in love to help the other person to learn and grow. Finally, you must practice forgiveness. Fred accepted Scrooge into his home. Fred did not need to know Scrooge had changed, he saw Scrooge in his home and that was enough to recognize change. Accept that change as a small baby step, until you are able to walk again in harmony with each other.

You are responsible for the “Carol” in your life. Serve others first; your thoughts precede your actions making the world a better place. Speak or act with a pure mind and happiness will follow you just as your shadow, which is unshakeable.

I wish you a Merry Christmas. May your carol be sung and may others see your light as you begin a new journey. Even though you may be a scrooge or someone else is a scrooge, it is amazing how forgiveness and an act of kindness can change things. It is time to sing a new carol and not be scrooged!

Merry Christmas!

By Faith (Forging Attitude in Trusting Him)

Porcupine People

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.

Is it worth the fighting over semantics? A tree is a tree, but put ornaments on it with lights and it becomes a Christmas tree. Shape the tree into a cradle and it could be a manger. Form two large boards from the tree and overlay them and it becomes a cross.

People argue over what offends them and by whom. Bottom line is respect. We have lost respect for ourselves and lost our identity. Respect is lost through rudeness, untrustworthiness and hypocritical thoughts and actions. We get offended over someone’s expressive freedom of speech.

No matter where we go, we will encounter people who are negative, who try to force or bind their opinions on others; they will oppose your ideas or simply decide not to like you based upon your looks, behavior, faults or successes. It is our emotions driving our survival instinct: react and attack to defend. There is an interesting fable about porcupines that comes to mind as I remember crawling into a cave in western Oklahoma where one person went up into a small hole and there was a porcupine’s nest. Porcupines can really stick it to you!

Fable of the Porcupine

It was the coldest winter ever – many animals died because of the cold. The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together, which provided cover and protection for all. Sadly, the quills of each one wounded their closest companions even though they provided warmth to each other. After awhile, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and soon began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice: Either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth. Wisely, they decided to be together.

They learned to live with the little wounds that were caused by the close relationship with their companion, but the most important part of it, was the heat that came from the others. This way they were able to survive.

Moral of the story:

The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but the best is when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire the other person’s good qualities.

How do we deal with semantics of what offends or doesn’t offend while dealing with what we feel are difficult people?

1. Holding a grudge against someone is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. When we react negatively, then we are creating our own pain within ourselves.

2. It is not about you; it is about them. When others initiate negativity it is a reflection of their inner state expressing externally. Sometimes it is like walking in front of a car that you did not see coming. Unhappy people, not recognizing their own pain and hurt, tend to attack.

3. Responding impulsively and irrationally can turn the conversation into a battle of “who is right.” It is better to listen, no matter how painful it may be, you might realize they are only venting and not actually attacking you.

4. Anger and negativity breed the same. When you respond to someone’s negativity in a negative manner there is no positive solution that will equal a good conversation. The invested energy of defending what you feel is right; forces anger and a digging in of the heels, when all you need is to listen and validate the other person’s feelings (sometimes when you do not agree with it). We cannot give or take at the same time. One has to be in submission to receive while the other gives and vice versa.

5. Freedom of speech and expression allows others to express their opinions. Right or wrong. When you suppress each other’s opinions you miss the opportunity for growth and learning.

You can choose peace or you can choose conflict. It is better to maintain objectivity and emotional control then to raise the porcupine’s defense of needles. When you rise to the occasion you might find yourself up against a prick. Listen to the other person, validate their feelings, use I feel and I understand, so that they feel they are important. You might be surprised in your relationships how easy it is to work together and live with one another’s “porcupineness.” You have to make a sacrifice in submission or subjection. People are willing to be humble and submissive if you are not forceful in making them subject to your will. You avail yourself to growth and learning when you keep an open mind. It does not mean you believe or condone the other’s actions.

By Faith (Forging Attitude In Trusting Him)