Clothe Your Heart in Thanksgiving – Building your faith

“Gratitude means to recognize the good in your life, be thankful for whatever you have, some people may not even have one of those things you consider precious to you (love, family, friends etc). Each day give thanks for the gift of life. You are blessed” ― Pablo

I watched her from a distance. She was admiring some gloves and a scarf. Gently placing them down, she walked off. Finally, I caught up to her and asked how her shopping was going. “Oh, I liked those gloves and scarf, but there was no hat that I liked to go with it” she replied. The following Saturday we went shopping again in a different town. Same thing happened, but this time it was reversed; she found the hat, but no gloves or scarf to match. 

It was three weeks away from Christmas. No, she didn’t know it, but I went back to both stores and bought all three items that matched. I am not sure if she remembered what she looked at from the prior store. Therefore, I secretly wrapped them up and placed them in a box and tried my best to wrap them in Christmas wrapping paper. Carefully and methodically I placed it under the tree. 

Awakened by the children, we got up the next morning to the screams, that Santa came. Wiping the sleep from my eyes, I proceeded to the living room. The children were asking if they could open the presents. A glance in both of our directions, we smiled and nodded, yes. The excitement was there with bright smiling faces. 

She looked at me and asked, “What is this”? We weren’t supposed to do anything for each other that Christmas and we were to get gifts only for the children and to help an unfortunate family that year. “Open it” I replied. She carefully opened the package and a big grin began to form. “How did you know?” she questioned. 

The Father knows what we need in our life before we even begin to look or think of things we want in our life. Life is a gift. Full of surprises and twists and turns; we wait sometimes in anticipation knowing what is coming, or we wait in silence or worry. 

Thanksgiving is a time to reflect upon this nation’s blessings of food and friendship. Every day should be a reflection of thanksgiving, regardless of the fates we suffer. Either we can see a glass half full or half empty, but we can still be thankful we have a glass. 

Enter His gates with thanksgiving; go into His courts with praise.  Give thanks to Him and praise His name. -Ps 100:4 NLT

There is a blessing in being thankful: not only in the good times, but even in the bad situations we are put in. You may not feel like being thankful for the hand you were dealt, and I wasn’t at one point in time. Yet, I am still growing and learning to be thankful in all things. When given a hard blow in life (divorce/death) you begin to learn to appreciate the small gestures someone does for you.

You begin to lose sight in being thankful if we stop praying or if we focus on the tragedies or problematic situations we are in. I had to learn that rainbows are made through rain when the sunlight hits it. My tears had to be brought to His light in order for there to be a rainbow of promises that he is working on me and developing me into something better than what I could do for myself. 

There is a positive impact on others when our life is shown in gratitude. Dr. Dyer expressed, “With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.” In my own research, I have found through other scientific studies, that when you write down at least three things you are thankful for 21 days, you sleep better, become happier and more optimistic. 

Look for the little things in the good and bad and become thankful for them. They become the cornerstones and pillars to lean on when the storm hits. It builds your faith in knowing that while you were looking for a gift, He has His own gift in mind far greater than what you can pick out. 

Clothing can keep you, your hands, neck and head warm, but it is being thankful in all things which keeps your heart warm. Do you have your attitude on His anvil? Yes, being banged up and being shaped is no fun, when your heart is cold. Having a warm and heated heart due to being thankful, shapes you into something more than you can ever imagine. 

Happy Thanksgiving!

By Faith, 

A Few Choice Words - The Rainbow Effect

“But if thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought.”  ― George Orwell, 1984

Not sure what to write because feelings cannot be expressed through the words I wish to convey. In reality words are like clothes, which cover the natural state of thoughts. I will do my best to lay bare my thoughts in such a way you can feel clothed in richness and in warmth of my words.

Words can be forgotten. Words can be formulated like a mathematical equation that sometimes the mind cannot think or capture the meaning behind it. The voice of projection behind those words can be calm and soothing and lost in the memory of yesterday. How can my words be eloquently conveyed and to never be forgotten? 

"The strength of a man isn't seen in the power of his arms. 

It's seen in the love with which he EMBRACES you.”

 ― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

A simple touch of my fingertips to remind you I am there and a gently spoken word at the same time is like electricity to the light bulb. The light shines as though the electricity is unseen and so are the words, but the action is what is remembered by the simple touch. Words can be wasted energy, but with action can become an electrifying experience which can sometimes melt the coldest heart.

A meaningful hug embraced with simple words can create a memory and a fondness of yesterday years past. The perfume or cologne enhances the moment as you drift on the pillow where they once laid. The voice is the electricity, which projects the image as if you were in the present. 

Cards, letters, texts, books, emails, and blogs, formulated by words, can only do so much.  The mind is the gatekeeper to the heart or is the heart the gatekeeper of the mind? Whatever the gatekeeper may be; there has to be a key. What is the key? Words with actions being conveyed in a trusting and consistent manner and even if it is the right key, the door must be willing to be opened by the owner. 

I choose to see a world where words are like colors. My mind is the paintbrush in how I wish to paint the picture of my heart. My eyes are the expressions of my soul. When words flow from the paintbrush, do you see the blank canvas formulating the richness, the depths of who I am inside as a person?

How are you painting your picture of your life for others to see? We can shut down and close out the world and all there will be is grey, black or white. Or we can open our minds and see the different colors within the rainbow. 

Words are the colors. Actions are the paintbrushes. Do they paint a picture which conveys in others a masterpiece of warmth? 

Sometimes creating healthy boundaries of what we allow into our life or not allow is the key to having successful relationships and lives. If we allow words from music to penetrate our heart, then how does it move us or shape us into what we do? If we read or listen to words, which are depressing, then do we become depressed? If we listen to words, which are violent, do we mask our lives with hurt and then do we become grumpy with others and lash out?

Words matter and Solomon said it best, “Watch your words and hold your tongue; you’ll save yourself a lot of grief” (Prov. 21:23).  Instead of formulating words to hurt others by gossip, or gathering them to malign someone, think of the damage you will be doing to others, and to yourself.  

 “Words are like eggs dropped from great heights; you can no more call them back than ignore the mess they leave when they fall.” ― Jodi Picoult, Salem Falls

Words are what motivates or destroys individuals and relationships. "I am sorry" may not be the right words to mend fences. "I love you" may be the bond to hold hearts together. "Please" and "thank you" may not be the right words to get what you are wanting. Words have to be formulated with action in order for them to be on the canvas to be showcased. Positive words may not be the right words to move mountains. Negative words may not be what destroys mountains. Sometimes words can be intercepted and misinterpreted. How then can we live in a world which thrives on communication?

There is enough darkness in this world with words to tell us we are not good enough. People try to control us with words to express you are not lovable. Words can be like toxic waste that oozes into the brain and we believe every word because we trust or we have aligned ourselves to see it the way others view it. 

“A picture can tell a thousand words,  but a few words can change it’s story.”  ― Sebastyne Young

When is it time for words to become positive energy to paint on a canvas that can portray to the world a light? His Word for me is the light. I have learned to marinate in the words, which provides such richness and depths that I want to paint that canvas of hope. Or when I am down and weary, the positive words, He is there, are the colors, which are splattered on my heart to paint a wonderful feeling and expression. 

You are worthy. Find words to formulate a masterpiece within you. Filter out harsh words that want to destroy the masterpiece you want to create. There is enough good in a person that if you choose to look for the good, it will be there. There is also enough bad in a person that if you choose to look for the bad, it will be there. Be careful in the words you form. They may not be the right colors you want to paint. 

“The universe doesn’t give you what you ask for with your thoughts - it gives you what you demand with your actions.”  ― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

By Faith, 

Boot Camp – Building Your Faith

“No need to panic… Because God will be right there with, you; He’ll keep you safe and sound.” Proverbs 3:26

“Okay you watermelon heads lineup” said the voice in the dark, “and no coats”!

It was mid-January 1992 and I knew what was coming. It was another drill to see if we could follow directions. We lined up in formation and it was snowing. My breath seems to freeze in mid-air. It was like a cartoon scene where my breath seemed to fall to the ground. My toes were getting cold, my arms and face started to freeze. What seemed like 30 minutes were only two minutes; then the voice again, “Okay you sissies go back and get your coats and you have one minute to get back into formation, otherwise you will have to do 20 push-ups.”

We ran inside. We were not quick enough and that was a given. It was chow time and bacon, eggs and a hot cup of coffee was calling my name. “You think you’re smarter than your drill-sergeant?” echoed his voice in the freezing dark morning. “No drill-sergeant” we corresponded back in unison. “That’s not good enough privates, now get down and give me 20 push-ups and we don’t have all day.”

I dreaded that moment. We were on fire ant hill. I was the squad leader and being the tallest I was on the end. Luckily there wasn’t any near me; but my private got it. Yes, he survived fire ant hill. We all did.

It was called fire ant hill because in South Carolina at Ft Jackson, there were fire ants. I knew what they were in San Antonio. I would kick them over as a small boy and watched them sprawl all over the ground. If they got on you, you knew it. It felt like fire! Leave a chicken bone on the ant hill and the next day there was no meat left on it. It was bleached white.

We were being trained as soldiers. We had to get rid of our civilian individualistic attitudes and conform to the system.  We were trained to watch each others backs and had to build our faith into each other, in order for us to trust. We had each others lives in our hands because we had to defend ourselves against the enemy both foreign and domestic.

Fear, like in my last blog of swimming and jumping off the end of the diving board, robs us of control. We have this innate responsibility to either fight or run. What if we can’t run or fight and we stand in shock? How do we build our faith in the unknown?

Life conditions us like soldiers. One minute we are unprepared against the elements and the next we go through the fire, which tests and builds our endurance to handle the next trial that is coming down the pike. It is challenging to build faith in the things you do not see. Hard to build faith in not knowing what will happen tomorrow.

Your child lies helplessly in a hospital bed. I held my 14 month old son in my arms as he cried and they tried to put a needle in his arms, hands and then his head. It was frightening. I was scared about losing my son because he contracted a rare form of salmonella poisoning that he contracted from a restaurant that is now closed. As a parent you don’t want to see your child hurting. I love him very much.

I’ve learned through life that I can’t borrow trouble or play leap frog with the unicorn. Life was building my faith not in my self; but in a higher power. I am still learning to trust Him. There were Giants attacking me from all sides that year in 2013.

The final blow came in October 18, 2013 at 8:45 PM, when the doctor called me. It wasn’t good. I went to a specialist and it was confirmed. Cancer. He shared with me that I must have surgery within two weeks or my chance of survival would be slim in 2014. Faith took a blow. I was at the bottom of the barrel of life and the only way to look; was up. I had to Forge my Attitude In Trusting Him. Today, I am cancer free.

Military can’t develop your faith. Cancer can’t develop your faith. Losing a job and finding another one can’t develop your faith. Others can’t develop your faith for you. Therefore, how do you do it? There isn’t a cookie cutter answer.

I can offer you what helped me to build my faith. I struggled and it wasn’t easy. There were three things, which helped me. First, there was prayer. I had to learn how to pray. I prayed with the person I was in a relationship with at the time. Prayer works. I had to be specific in my prayer; be bold in my prayer and be honest in my prayer.

“Father, I am scared and do not know what to do at this moment. I trust you have a plan. I am angry because I have a life to live and …” there it was in my prayer. It wasn’t my life.

Life was breaking me to realize that it isn’t about me and life. I could have left my faith and turn against Him. However, I had to learn that my prayers had to change and take the focus off of me.

“Father, I’m running to you because I am afraid of the future, but I know you hold all things; if we delight in you. There are things I would like to accomplish in your name in order to help others to see your redemptive love. Strengthen me in this hour and help me to see what it is you want me to see, so that I can live for you. Forgive me father of my wrong choices, behaviors and selfishness and fix my eyes upon you. Help lead me out of the paths of darkness.” This prayer helped to change my attitude.

Second, I had to meditate in His word. I had to learn to marinate my mind in the words of His promises. He has pulled me through so many attacks, financial situations, and bad health. Sure others can talk about me, put me down, and choose not to have a relationship with me. My focus had to change from being on me, but shift to the Shepherd of my soul.

In order to exercise and stay in shape, I have to walk and lift weights and change the way I eat. His Word is the food; it is the everlasting bread, which sustains me. It changed my outlook to learn not to judge others or be critical and to accept those who were broken. It didn’t matter what others said to me about other people. They were wrong sometimes and I saw something in them that others didn’t see. People can change if you allow them. The only allowance comes through reading His word.

My Aunt provided me a daily devotional book. It was beneficial every morning I read it through my difficult times. Not only did I hear Him better, I saw Him through different days of my journey and realized I wasn’t alone. I had to exercise my faith by forging my attitude in trusting Him that he would deliver. I am human and my faith is still growing. You can’t just marinate in His word and expect it to work.

Like a shepherd, which leads the flock to exercise, I had to exercise His word in my actions. To quit worrying over things I had no control over. I had to let go and realize to ask Him and not take it from Him by robbing Him to work in my life by trying to do things on my own.

Christ's own apostles, who were expert in fishing, still went to the bottom of the boat and sought Christ out to calm the seas. It was a lesson I had to learn. The lesson was that I can’t fight the troubled seas alone and I had to learn to depend on Him to deliver me.

Finally, I had to embrace those people who would be pillars in my life. I am thankful for my Aunt Wanda, Aunt Mary, my grandmother who talked me through in learning to trust Him. I am thankful for two of my church friends, the only two that stuck by me, despite what others were saying against me. Thank you to Mike and Lee for seeing something good in me. I am thankful for the relationship of Kelley, who helped train my thoughts.

Christ choosing the twelve taught me a lesson to learn. He only had three men he was close to: Peter, James and John. Sometimes, we have to have those few friends we can trust and depend upon. Like Christ in the garden, there were close people in my garden of trials, my family and friends, were there to walk me through my journey.

Therefore, prayer is a powerful tool to forge your thoughts. Learn to trust in a higher power than your own. Marinate in His word daily. Walk, His talk, so that His light can shine and help you to be a witness as a survivor of the storm. Finally, surround yourself with friends who will not leave, who will encourage you, who will listen to you and provide encouragement.You are never alone in the boot camp of your faith.

How are you building your faith? Are you Forging (your) Attitude In Trusting Him?

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."
~Martin Luther King, Jr.

by faith, 

"Open My Eyes - I want to See You" (Finding Value in Others)

We cling to our own point of view, as though everything depended on it. Yet our opinions have no permanence; like autumn and winter, they gradually pass away.—Zhuangzi

How do you explain? How do you describe? Sometimes, there are not enough words to describe what I see. I feel there are not enough words to even explain the depths and the richness of what the treasures of each day brings. 

There are days that I feel that I am driving on the highway and all my focus is in front of me. I miss slowing down and driving in the country. I enjoy capturing with a camera and looking at the quilted blanket of leaves that the Creator wove over night for me to enjoy. Tunnel vision on the road keeps you from seeing the bigger picture. 

“I feel my parents don’t listen to me” she said with tears in her eyes. “I try to talk to my mother, but she just talks over me and tries to tell me what I should do”.  I handed her a tissue as I sat and listened to her story. “I have these thoughts that I am not good enough. I feel rejected by my mother because all I want is someone to listen to me and not tell me what I did wrong” she expressed to me as she sat in my office.  She continued with her story, “Sometimes, I am punished because she won’t let me hang out with my friends because she feels I am going to do the same thing and so that is why I cut myself.” She looked into my eyes and shared her story that she felt if her mother would blame her, then she might as well go ahead and do what her friends do, self-harm. 

We all have similar stories in how we want to share with others. Yet, we drive on the highway of life and we have this tunnel vision of not wanting to collide into another human being because we are afraid we are going to get hurt. We drive forward as to avoid our own pain and running from the feelings that the police are chasing us. We drive along the highway trying to get to our own destination and we forget how fast we go. We witness breakdowns and don’t stop to help. We witness wrecks and fatalities and we gasp or cry at the scene. 

Where are you in your life right now? Are you driving along and forgetting there is scenery out there? There are people who cross our paths and we do not know their story. We are all on this journey called life. We each have an encounter along the way. Some we push aside, some we allow to travel with us and some are like a toll booth: we stop, pay the toll and move on. 

It’s Monday. I was looking for some music to listen to before I started working. There it was staring me in the face. I am drawn to what children say and do. I hit play and I couldn’t help being touched by a 10 year old blind autistic boy that allowed a tear to flow from my eye. How does a 10 year old blind autistic boy touch my heart? 

He was born in May 2001 and his mother was a drug addict. I can only imagine the darkness of her world. Her son was born and placed into different foster care homes. In August of 2002, his uncle adopted him and the rest is history.  Take a moment and listen. I’ll continue writing this as you listen to his song:

Jonathan Swift wrote, “Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others.” Can you feel the passion of his voice as he is blind and how he uses his heart to express through his singing, “open the eyes of my heart, I want to see you.” 

The holidays are approaching. It is the worst time of year, when the statistics are like a temperature gage, which measures the heat of suicides and self-harm behaviors as they increase. People, who may have loved ones, still feel lonely on the inside and are blinded by negative thoughts. 

The movie, “Avatar” had a good message. They greeted each other with, “I see you”.  They took the time and gathered the message of really seeing into the heart of the person. It reminded me of the verse in Philippians 2:1-4 “ If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand”(The Message).

How do we see the “you” in others? How do we show “value” in others? How can we have the eyes of our hearts open to seeing others?

Here is what I have learned and pray it will be beneficial in seeing the other person’s heart and best intentions:

1.     Recognize the other person’s feelings and needs by valuing them by validating their existence, even though it will be different from your own feelings.

2.     Develop empathy by recognizing your feelings and then recognize others' feelings by listening to their opinions, right or wrong. Begin to see it in their eyes by thinking how it might be if you saw what they are expressing from their point of view. 

3.     Respond not out of reactiveness, but respond in an understanding caring way and see if there is something you can do by asking their permission to help. 

Finally, Robert Hall wrote, “A friend should be one in whose understanding and virtue we can equally confide, and whose opinion we can value at once for its justness and its sincerity.” Remember, there are those who are hurting and needing an ear to listen. We have two ears and one mouth, therefore, be slow to speak and intently hear the message of the heart. 

“Open the eyes of our hearts, Lord, so that we may see you!” and we see Him, if we look with compassion on others with open eyes and hearts.  I sometimes wish what I know now, that I can go back in time and apply this message with my own children. I love my children deeply and I want to continue to seek and to understand them for they will always have a place in their father’s heart. Forgiveness a crucial piece in finding peace in relationships and opening our blinded eyes; in order for us to see the beauty of people being able to change and be better people. 

Thanksgiving approaches; reach out to those who want to be thankful for finding them a place to express themselves. Stephen Covey expressed it in this way, “When you really listen to another person from their point of view, and reflect back to them that understanding, it's like giving them emotional oxygen.”

It will be like Christmas for others when you can truly share the gift of companionship by listening and sharing the value in others. As you drive down the highway of life, don't forget to go down the country road and say hello to someone who seems like a scarecrow and needs to get off the pole to talk to someone.

By forging attitude in trusting Him, may we see others as He sees us;