You block your dream when
you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith. ~Mary Manin Morrissey
What does the word fear invoke? For some it relishes the past as a plow does
to a harden ground. The plow toils the memories of the past and brings to the
surface what was hidden below. Fear is like a spider that spins a web, which often
snares our feelings and feeds on our thoughts until all our energy is zapped from
us until we are nothing, but a hollow shell.
There are literally over a thousand types of phobias. Like
the fear of gamophobia, this is a fear of marriage/commitment. There is a
phobia name for fear itself. According to Webster, the term fear is “the
feeling or condition of being afraid.” Sometimes
our fear paralyzes us in moving forward and takes away opportunities of a rich
blessing.
Fear
cannot take what you do not give it. ~Christopher Coan
I enjoy watching the movie, “Monsters Inc.” If you haven’t
seen the first movie, let me encourage you to watch it. Fears can stem from
childhood and think about those ugly monsters lurking under the bed or in the
closets. Movies are big hits on scaring people with their thrillers. For some, we enjoy the thrill of a scare like
haunted houses and on October 31 it becomes the most frightful night that we
enjoy the most. It’s because we expect it. We know it is coming.
I am afraid of heights. Yes, I know I am 6ft and I am tall,
but still afraid of heights. I remember, when I was younger, walking with my uncle in the mall on
the second floor where the glass railing protected you from falling to the
first floor. Yet, he would scoop me up into his arms that would protect me; it
was the fear of seeing the first floor from the second, which scared me. I didn’t
see him coming to lift me up into his arms and it began my fear of heights. Yes,
I admire those who are short because you don’t have far to fall.
There is the fear being unsuccessful, or the fear of the unknown
about our future. We fear the pain of loss and I “fear” we have created the
fear of feeling loved. It is a paradox as babies we want to feel close to our
parents. Yet, we fear the most important aspect of our life; we fear the
feeling of being close to someone. We relish our memories of holding on to “stuff”
in order we keep the fear of losing that memory of someone we cherish. For the
extreme some become hoarders, but for some of us, like myself, I hold onto my
first dog collar that has his rabies tag and engraved name. He was a very precious dog that I was able to
as a child not fear; because he was there to comfort me.
Fear is an emotion and it is what clenches us from having a
foothold of being at our best as a human being. Fear cannot capture what we do
not feed it. Easier said than done, but it can be done if
we can only begin to understand the concept to our fear.
Those that walk with fear will always be too busy hiding. ~Mike Dolan
Our future wears the mask of the unknown and often
paralyzes us to move forward. Most of us are hiding within ourselves; like
turtles in a shell we remain safe inside where we cannot be touched. Often some
state, “God is not here, He can’t help me, but Jeremiah 29:11 says, “I know the
plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to
give you a future and a hope.” Elijah was fearful and he hid in the cleft of
the rock and the Creator showed Himself to Elijah. Fear inhabits our walk and
developing our faith of not walking by sight.
The wise man in the storm prays God, not for safety from danger, but
for deliverance from fear. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Relationships can be complicated; even relationships where
we have been hurt. We want to hide in the negativity of our thoughts and not
develop anything positive for the future. Fear becomes like a darkroom. Like
old cameras that had film, fear develops the negatives. Negative thoughts stops our feet from moving
forward, even though we can see the light peering through.
Men have inflicted pain and therefore we become fearful of experiencing
pain. Some have inflicted emotional pain, physical pain and it becomes a
challenge to move forward in any relationship. Some fear the intimacy because
it is too close and feeling vulnerable.
I’ve been there once in my life through the relationships I
have encountered. There was my fear of being rejected, being alone and the fear
of not feeling accepted or loved. My fear of being too close all stemmed from
relationships where there was pain. It stunted my growth and my focus was on
fear. It didn’t allow me to develop. After exposing my fears to the light, I began
working on developing wonderful pictures of the moments.
Fear was no longer my darkroom where I could hide. I
embrace fear. Fear is now my friend. It grows my spirit of trusting in the
Creator that he has this. Fear, if I let it, robs me of the potential of doing
something great. My fear is off myself. I no longer am a victim to the past
events, but I emerge from the darkroom with a beautiful picture of what could
be because I see potential relationships, which God intended.
Instead of fearing my past; I had to learn to develop
healthy boundaries of self-respect. I had to learn to understand that some of
what happened was my own miscommunication and lack of understanding of the
person. Emotions can hold us back from enjoying the best relationship that the
Creator has intended for us to have with our companions.
Captivating my thoughts and making them obedient to Christ
(2 Corinthians 10:5) enabled me to have a voice to scream in prayer to my
Creator that He is in control. Our thoughts is not throwing them into the jail
of our mind, it is setting them free against the truth of God’s reality and not
ours. Total freedom comes from knowing His word demolishes our lies and inaccurate
thoughts.
I taught myself a lie about relationships that no one wants
to be close to me and if I let them be close to me they will hurt me. Instead,
I had to reevaluate and understand that I teach people how I wanted to be
treated. My fear taught others that I didn’t want them to be close to me; but
reality I wanted them to be close to me. I had to realize not everyone is the same and when
I made a list (using scripture) about who to share my life with, and then the
truth was revealed. It is Him who sends the rain, the bows and ultimately our companion as long as we leave the lust of the flesh confined.
Do my thoughts about this person bring me
closer to God? Do my thoughts about this person honor God? Surround yourself
with those who support those feelings of moving towards God. Ask yourself if that
person will help you walk by faith or by sight?
Learn to listen to words. In 1 Kings 16 Samson’s first
words were recorded, “I found a woman” and from there he had woman troubles. Delilah
found the source of his weakness because he was weak for a woman he found
attractive on the outside and not the inside.
His word says he has put a light in each of us. It will be
revealed. Expose your fears to the light and embrace the unknown knowing you
have a Creator that is bigger and can work through the pain you possess. I had
to learn to be intimate with God, accept me being wonderfully made in spite of
my flaws, and know through prayer He delivers me from Fear.
Where is your relationship with the creator? Is it damaged
because the god of this world invoked pain into your life? The Creator is a
parent and like good parents they want the best for their children. Embrace the
Father; you will learn to embrace yourself and in return; love will embrace
you. Life is worth living if you do not
let fear of past relationships stop you from embracing healthy ones.
Judy Blume, author: “Each of us must confront
our own fears, must come face to face with them. How we handle our fears will
determine where we go with the rest of our lives. To experience adventure or to
be limited by the fear of it.”
Father, you
are my Light and my Savior, so why should I be afraid of anyone? Lord, you are
where my life is safe, so I will be afraid of no one (Psalms 27:1).
Remember to build your faith on trusting Him. You
will be amazed how far you can walk, where you can walk and who is walking by
your side.
By Faith (Forging Attitude In Trusting Him),
