How to Let Go of the Past and Begin to Live Freely

"The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” ~ Steve Maraboli

It is strange how a disease can change a person’s perspective on life. It seems all of a sudden you are being pulled out of the Matrix and plunged or immersed into a positive view on life.  Every thought goes into trying to set things right. Learning to let go of past thoughts, forgiving those who have intentionally or unintentionally hurt you and to choose to not to be a victim of circumstances by reminding others of what they have done, but choosing to forgive them instead. 

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Sometimes there are tornadic thoughts whirling aimlessly in my mind and not being able to grasp a single thought. That is some storm, which brews in the mind of facing the reality that my life is shortened by the thought of cancer. Some days, I just want to let go of life because there is wonderment if I impacted people in a healthy way. 

There is a deep passion within me in wanting to help others because of my own pain of being bullied, made fun of because I was born with a cleft palate. The scar on the lip is minimal, but I notice the eyes that are drawn to it, but I call it my battle scar of things I have overcome in my life.  I have chosen to make the right choices and letting go of the plagues of past and future thoughts. I want to be pouring myself out to others. Oh how much I pray my actions were received as such and if not I am sorry.

I realize how broken I am and know He can still use broken things to benefit others. That is why I am here writing this and praying you are reading it with such intensity that it will somehow help you in your walk of not giving up. Learn to let go and not harbor the past. To be free and be in the Matrix of positive living and not the negative we seem to be immersed in from day to day. 

It seems it is easy to say, “Let go” and let Him handle it. Let go of what? How do you let go of things that are not tangible? It leaves the mind to confusion and it occurred to me that I was making things complicated by over analyzing. Not everything has to be done in a physical action to get a result. There has to be an attitude forged in practicing forgiveness and mercy.

Learning to practice forgiveness and leaving things alone was to let go of the plaguing thoughts. It is learning to let go of control. Cancer taught me I had no control. No cure. I can’t rip it from me. I had to succumb to my Creator in a broken state, then to learn how to walk with Him. Not to listen, but to watch in the midst of my storm the amazing things He began to do. Letting go means to not control actions or events. It is a habit we are accustomed to in society that we want to pick up those thoughts and analyze our: would have, could have, should have and the only ifs thoughts.  

Negative self talk is a disparaging thing you can do to yourself and that is what I relate to as the plaguing storm of thoughts. The storm blocks seeing past the self destruction and the destruction your choices or actions have caused. One cannot take back the past. 

Think of it as nailing a picture upon a wall. When the picture (person) is gone the nail (you) is left in the wall not supporting anything. When you remove yourself (from the relationship) it leaves a hole in the wall. The wall (life) is now imperfect and there is damage to the relationship, the impact you made, whether good or bad, is left as a scar. You can cover the hole with speckling (love and forgiveness). Yet, there is a battle scar.

What we do with our scars determines the outlook we have on life.  I feel if it is mentioned more than once that it is important to recognize what is being said. Jesus said twice,” I desire mercy, not sacrifice.” (Matt 9:13, 12:7). He called the sinners and told others if they had known what these words have meant that they would have not condemned the innocent. 

Too often there are some, which allow others mistakes, to interfere with having a relationship between them. No, I am not saying if someone continues to sabotage or provide an unhealthy relationship to continue in it. I am saying if one is genuine in change or showing an effort to ask for forgiveness, then we are to be merciful and not condemn them for their past actions. One can say, “I forgive” all they want, but it is the actions of how we treat that person going forward. 

Letting go means, letting go of the control of trying to handle everything. When we live a life in the example of Jesus, there is mercy and faith being built up that He is in control. There was an adulterous woman (John 8) brought before Him by her accusers. She was thrown down to Jesus’ feet demanding she be stoned. According to Jewish law, her and the one she was caught with was to be stoned. Jesus bent slowly down and with his finger began to write. I feel He gently was taking her tears like ink and writing into the dirt the names of those who were also guilty and possibly those who were standing there. 

He could have by law have stoned her and yet, Jesus’ said, “I desire mercy.”  He stood up and said, “Whoever is without sin cast the first stone.” One by one they all left. He didn’t condemn her. I feel too often Christians want to cast the first stone and forget they are sinners themselves, but by the grace of God and the blood of Christ they are saved. Yet, I feel if they continue in the attitude of demanding recompense or pointing out people’s sins or not loving others that the blood and grace is not enough to cover. 

I see the wounded. I’ve been wounded by church leadership, other Christians by their actions. Some stop going to church because of the wounds. That did not stop me from having a relationship with Christ. Mankind can judge or try to control, toss aside the broken, but that will not stop me from worshipping a Creator, who loves a broken man that I am.

Letting go is learning to be merciful. Yes, we are going to be hurt. We can remain in the hurt by constantly reminding others what they have done or provide mercy and forgiveness and patiently see how the Spirit works in the newness.  It is with humility and prayer this will encourage you to learn to let go, so that the past will not eat at you. I expressed that I had no regrets of things I have done. It doesn’t mean I am not remorseful, for truly I am. It means I am thankful that it changed me to who I am today as a better person, otherwise this message would have not been written. Letting go is to become shackle free of life’s thoughts, hurts, and disappointments and living free in the mercy and grace of our Savior in a matrix of positive thinking. Live in positive thinking by putting it into action, by living by faith, not fearing the hurt, but learning to be merciful when others are broken. 

By F (aith) A (ttitude) I (n) T (rusting) H (im)

Cancerous Thoughts - The Tale of Two Wolves

 “Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend- or a meaningful day.” ~ Dalai Lama

When you hear the term cancer it tends to scare and frighten because there seems to be a lack of understanding. One can become a defeatist and wallow in defeat and succumb to the worst thoughts. Thoughts to me can become cancerous. It can eat away at the very core of your being.  It is the worm to the apple as one word thought, which weaves and deceives the brain. 

A thought develops from our senses in what we experience and from the experience produces feelings. Feelings are the yin to the yang of thoughts. They feed off of each other and if there is no control; you seem to be going round in round. That is the symbol of the yin and yang. 

There is a Cherokee Native American legend about two wolves.  One wolf is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him, and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way. The other wolf is full of anger. It is helpless anger, for his anger will change nothing. Sometimes it is hard to live with these two wolves, for both try to dominate the Cherokee spirit. A boy asked his Grandfather, “Which one wins?” The grandfather replied, “The one I feed.”

Let this be an encouragement from someone that is diagnosed with cancer. Live life to the fullest by feeding the wolf that is good. When we feed into fear, anger, jealousy, guilt, shame, lack of understanding, or lack of forgiveness, then we then become bitter and lack the luster to live. There is a failure to enjoy the simple things in life. One can be negative about how others do things or one can be positive and coach others to do better.

I prefer to be free of my shackles, which bind me into cancerous thoughts of dealing back resentful tactics towards those who have hurt me. We sometimes may not understand the meaning of what happens in life or why people do certain things. What matters is containing those cancerous thoughts before they totally consume you. 

My life observances:  there have been some who felt they needed to be worthy and needed others to make them feel that way. My advise is to feel worthy in Christ and let everything fall into place according to His will.  I have befriended people who have hurt because of past situations and they have limited themselves to what they will do in the future. I have limited myself in relationships because I didn’t have a good understanding or grasp of who they are. Silent treatment is emotional abuse and people need to arise above the hurt; even when they are being held accountable for their actions. 

We all make mistakes, but that shouldn’t stop us from reaching the best potential of who we can become. Don’t judge others by how many friends they have or don’t have, by the things they possess or don’t possess. Don’t be quick to end relationships out of fear, but find other alternatives to help those relationships grow. 

Cancer has made me humble in looking at life in a more positive way. The flower that blooms provides the fragrance that kills the stench of a dying world.  A homeless person reminds me there is always something to give away, when I have too much. A little child that reminds me I need to keep things simple and dream big dreams and not fall short because I limit my abilities because of fear. A person who cuts me off reminds me to slow life down and enjoy the scenery.

Forgiveness is the chemotherapy to beat cancerous thoughts. Living life is the treadmill to breathing in new things to view positive thoughts in a negative world. When we learn to appreciate the quality of a person in our life as an original, then we can learn to appreciate the artistry of their personality that provides different facets like a diamond. 

Thank you mom and dad for laying a foundation of faith, so I can walk with Him now; my love is deep and forgiveness runs wide for you both and to Him. Thank you to my sister for she has taught me to enjoy life even when things seem to be tough. Thank you to my grandfather, for being a living example for me to follow, a rare art form for loving people for whom they are and made me who I am today. I love the way he read his bible daily.  Thank you to my aunt who has been there as a spiritual conscious, even when I didn’t have the courage to really want to listen. Thank you grandparents for showing me those relationships can work and last, and forgiveness as well as communication is the key to loving someone. Thank you to all my family for loving me and showing me that family is important. Thank you to my children you have taught me how to love and to be sacrificial and to remain silent about past issues. I will always be your father and will always love you. No matter the choices you make. My arms are always opened to embrace you. Thank you to my Misawa friends who know when we are military brats, there is always a way to start life over and keep close friends close. Thank you to my friends who accept me for who I am. I ask for forgiveness for those whom I have hurt and it was unintentionally. I fed the wrong wolf at the time. 

Life is short. Do not let the here and now limit your ability to walk on water. Love as if it was your last. Live as if you had a million years. Do not feed into fear, but feed on what can be. Please be encouraged about life; do not let little things interfere with relationships, which make you grow. There is a purpose in His will and if you delight in Him, then you will find the Confidence to walk on water. Defeat the cancerous thoughts, which limit the potential of all you can be. Forgive as much as you can. Be free from the guilt and remain positive in a God, who provides the grace of all you can be. Remain strong not in yourself and lean on the false hope that you have to control everything. Because with cancer, there is no control and to beat cancer is to live life, love others, forgive often, and be an original person who is genuine in honesty. Face the wind of fear and let it lift you high, and watch the Creator make something of you. You are worthy! Let others know your thoughts, forgive them, renew those relationships. Take it from someone who is humbled by cancer and chooses to live life. There is a difference in thoughts and actions. “Let Him take the Wheel” and feed the good wolf. When you feed the good wolf, you run in a good family pack that will not leave your side.

By Faith F(orging) A(ttitude) I(n) T(rusting) H(im)

Luck versus Blessing: Which has the knockout punch?

In the month of March on my face book page, I have been doing a series of thoughts of “luck” vs. blessings. The conclusion to these thoughts are coming to end as March comes to a close. My earthly heritage is Irish and I enjoy the myths and folk lore of the pot of gold, leprechauns and the four leaf clover. However, my spiritual heritage sees life in a different way and yet; it is very rewarding.

Luck is only temporary and blessings are eternal. Therefore, when I put my focus into the right perspective, everything falls into place like a puzzle. Sometimes we are the missing puzzle piece. We allow fear, change, or the unknown to be known as luck or bad luck and we falter in our own steps in a dark world. However, when we embrace change, see Him as the light, the unknown is not as frightening and fear subsides and our steps are made secure in His direction. We become the missing puzzle piece, when we feel we can’t be loved, feelings of bad “luck”, fear of the unknown that stops us from being complete. When we look at all the blessings (James 1:17), which come from above (because He so richly blesses us), then our world is not dark; even in the midst of what seems so dark in despair. 

For some, change is hard to embrace because usually, it is an introspection of who we are and what we have felt comfortable with for so long; it becomes difficult to really see the gift.  Like Eve in the garden, we allow our senses to blind us to the spiritual world we need to view. God told man not to eat of the tree. When the serpent asked, “what did God really say?” Eve was tempted with emotions and feelings and she replied, “We are not to eat of the tree and we must not touch it.” 

It is easy to get confused in thoughts. Sometimes we had a negative perspective to His words. The regrets mull in the minds, like a grain meal stone that grinds the wheat into flour. The what-if’s, the only if I had, and should haves are full of harmful thoughts, which disable us to fit into the puzzle. The fear or something we see as good and never experienced before can alter our step going forward. It eats away at us and our view becomes as flour that when the wind blows one is easily shaken.

Most think Peter did not have faith when he walked on the water. Peter had the faith when he walked; it was his inability to see himself walking on water to trust what he was doing through the power of Christ. The power of Christ is a blessing that can permeate throughout our lives and enables us to do extraordinary things.  When we chase after the wind or focus on problems of the here and now; is when we begin to sink and feel as though “bad luck has been granted. Instead, it is our poor choices, which reap the consequences of our actions. 

Blessings are God’s way of showering us with little gifts as a reminder we are His children. This is our spiritual heritage and one we should embrace. Despite our choices, our Creator often pulls a Yes out of a bad situation in order to serve the betterment of His kingdom.  When we do not accept ourselves and view it through the eyes of Christ we tend to doubt or push others away, while they bestow upon us the love.  Too often there are some who have pushed others away because they were fearful of love, getting to close or afraid to get hurt. Some will say, “I am lucky to have you.” Instead of viewing it as luck, view it with the alignment of the focus of God and see it as, “I am blessed to have you”. 

Relationships can be fruitful, when two look at it from a spiritual basis and not a temporal.  People enter our lives with a purpose and some for good and others for the worse. Look at what has helped you the most in a relationship. Ask yourself have they helped you to draw closer in blessing with Him? Then it isn’t luck it is a blessing and a good choice. 

Blessings are the glue that can help hold you into place and put you into the big master puzzle, which allows you to fit in. It isn’t by luck or by chance you are loved. It is a blessing and a reward to be loved. Do not allow the past to darken the future of the bright light. When we been in darkness to long it will take awhile to adjust to the bright light. Do not be afraid of walking in the light and allow His blessings to be showered upon you. It isn’t by luck, this happens. It was His choice that He gave us His son, so that we can know what it is like to walk in the light, unafraid of change, embracing ourselves and others in order to fit into the kingdom of eternal blessings and not luck. 

We have to walk even though we are blinded by light or by darkness. Taking that initial step can be challenging and yet, can be very rewarding. The question remains are you feeling lucky or feeling blessed? The choice you make will determine the success or failure of how you view yourself in how you fit into the master puzzle plan. 

By Faith F(orging) A(ttitude) I(n) T(rusting) H(im)

The Heart of Your Garden....How does it grow?

Conflict is the darkness that shrouds the emotional eyes to see the once bright light and turns it into a dim light. There are people in life, which are meant to be gardeners to nurture and to cultivate. There are some who come in and steal from the garden of the soul and leave voids, where the fruit of our labor once existed. 

I feel in order not to be robbed is to set boundaries around our garden in order to keep those who tend to rob us of joy at bay. There is an undertaking in us, which we must keep the weeds of deception and negative self talk that can ruin the garden. What is implanted in our garden is a mix of variety of food that can be enticing for others to enjoy and then some meant only for us. 

There are seeds of others, which are planted into our conscious and we can allow them to sprout and help us to grow as a person. There are those seeds, which can damage our self image. There is one seed that should be nurtured and cultured. That is the relationship with Christ. He is the life and that is the center of the garden of our soul is the tree of life. 

When the seed grows into this magnificent tree of life, everything around it falls into place. It is up to the one to place boundaries as to not let the center of the garden to be damaged. When we have this perception, then we can look at a world that is full of wonder, optimism, joy, peace and blessings. Even in the midst of storms in our life the tree can shelter. 

People are not meant to be alone. We are meant to communicate and to encourage and to uplift. When you have someone that helps cultivate your garden; then it is a blessing that will help you walk the journey with Him. It was never meant to walk alone or think you can do it on your own. 

Boundaries keep healthy relationships healthy. It keeps the doors of communication open. Never shut down; never cease to communicate because that is a weed of destruction of emotional abuse. Jesus never did that and neither should we. Healthy boundaries allow you to be assertive by setting your expectation without being aggressive.  I have heard it said, we are not human creatures who are being punished by an avenging god. We are Spiritual beings having a human experience. 

We are here to learn to love ourselves so that we can truly love our neighbors. I feel for some, because of gardens full of weeds, may have it backwards and hate others like they hate themselves. Creating a spiritual belief boundary around your garden will support the possibility that you are unconditionally loved by Him. This is vital in helping us to stop shaming and judging ourselves as well as others. When we learn to cultivate our spiritual garden then everything else will fall into place. 

 

In the midst of the garden, how does it grow? Having to place myself on the anvil and having him forge my attitude in trusting Him is a challenge. Yet for me it is the end result, which loves the beautiful view of a spiritual being and enjoying the garden He cultivated. It is now up to you and me in how we cultivate it.Life is meant to be shared in a journey in a prayerful state. The prayers are tools, which help cultivate the heart of the garden. Pray wisely, cultivate carefully, allow healthy boundaries and enjoy the heart of the Tree of Life.

By faith (F)orging (A)ttitude (I)n (T)rusting Him.