Last message for 2011 Self Reflection

What an interesting year we have had. Many ups and downs this year has brought.

January the house was put up for sale. My first home with many memories, mixed emotions and a lot of blood, sweat and tears and bringing a 1974 house to modern times.  New flooring, new roof, new garage door w/opener, new vinyl siding, remodeled bathrooms, kitchen, fresh paint, new hot water tank, new doors inside and out, new air conditioner and new shed and landscaping.  There were many changes from 1996 to 2011. At the end of the month we celebrated Krista’s 12^th birthday.

February we had a record snow storm that dumped 22 inches of snow and closed down many businesses.  Fortunately I had a job that allowed me to stay at home and work.  The temperatures are -4 and the high was 25 during that first week in February.  At the end of the month we celebrated Jon’s 13^th birthday.  

March was an interesting and yet dangerous time of month with storms coming in and out. Fortunately, things were safe.  Our house was sold and we anticipated the months to come in our move into our new home. We were at a race to find a new home.

April was the packing month and getting things to storage and other items to pack. A little stressful in making bids on homes and so my thought was to pray your anxieties, problems, praises, concerns to the Father because He will support you and never let you be shaken (Ps 55:22, My paraphrase). I cannot explain the reasons verbally as to why my life is full of peace. Even though I may have anxieties and concerns my Shepherd makes me lie down in peace.

May we have a house and we signed on Cinco de Mayo.  Then took off to head to Virginia for a week and met wonderful friends and made one very close friend. Drove straight through and back 1020 miles and 17 hour drive.  Settled into our new home and started to hang up the art. So many things we take for granted. New blinds had to be ordered and hung up.  A fence to be built and alarm system installed. A wedding anniversary, daughter was an extra in a movie that was made here in Oklahoma, and several  tornadic storm which flew over the house and hit Joplin.

June was traveling through Missouri and drove through Joplin and it was a mess. Saw my first Major League Baseball game and had good barbeque in Kansas City, KS.  As a family we had family pictures made.  June was a peaceful month. Wrapping up school work and prepping for family vacation to Texas for a family reunion.  Middle of the month we celebrated Tanya’s birthday.

July is now here and half way through the year and now on a downhill slide to end 2011. We are on our way for a family vacation and family reunion to celebrate my grandmother’s 88^th birthday. A very hot month with record temps and the start of relentless 100 degree weather and at the end of the month we celebrated Daniel’s 9^th birthday.  Started a new businsess: UPLIFTING COUNSELING  & MEDIATION SERVICES.

August is exciting month because I started my internship.  I did last minute training in St Louis all in one day. We had to get the kids back to school supplies and get them ready for their new schools in Broken Arrow. Not much activity going on this month. Just prepping and trying to survive this 100 degree weather.

September brings some relief from the 45 days of 100 degree weather. We adopted two new additions to the family: Ninja (Russian Blue Cat) and Tigger (Tabby Cat).  Continued in my internship and able to shadow other therapists in clients home and received unforgettable training.  Middle of the month celebrated my mid-life birthday.

October was our fun month. We went to Oktoberfest, I was able to go to my first playoff game and see St Louis Cardinals lose to the Brewers with my Director from work.  Then went to my first World Series game and saw St Louis Cardinals lose to the Texas Rangers. I think I need to quit going to the 2^nd games because they seem to lose, but happy we won the World Series. Halloween happened.

November was another fun month. Traveled to see my wonderful Aunt and her family that I have not seen in over 20 years; but able to stay in touch via technology. Thanksgiving came and enjoyed the times we had in San Antonio and how much I missed being festive in San Antonio. Along the way was able to meet my friend from Liberty University, Austin Chen (Austin, Texas) and stopped in Dallas, to visit with cousins.

Finally, in December, the end of the month, and celebrated Amber’s 18^th birthday. Started to buy and wrap up presents. We have enjoyed being with the kids and enjoying the new home with our first Christmas. I received our first Christmas card from my parents after 4 years. Almost lost my mother and then my grandmother fell twice and broke her hip.

Reflection is good to see what you have been through and what has strengthened you. This is my last message for this year and I look forward to a New Year 2012. Remember even though you seem to have gone through a lot. One can endure when the mind is set on the focus. God has tremendously blessed me, with good family, friends, technology, a new house, a new career path. What has helped me to get through this year is prayer, family and a wonderful church family. I want to encourage you to find a church in your area to attend. Build that relationship and see what God can do for you. Even when things seem to go wrong, He blesses you twice over.  I have literature in the works that is being copyrighted and it is my prayer to share this message to you shortly.  May you have been blessed this year and into the next.

here is to the end of 2011!

By Faith (Forging Attitude In Trusting Him)

2012-Snakey Thoughts

Like a snake that slithers in the grass, so do the days of our lives. The thoughts that lurk in your “jungled” and entangled mind leap at you, swift as a rattlesnake, ready to bite. The venom strikes fast and furious, blurring your focus and draining your hope. The paralysis that overtakes your mind and body will need an anti-venom serum to counteract the damage.

The venom is your thoughts: “if only I had done this,” “what could I have done better,” “I should have done it this way,” “maybe if I had done more,” or “if I would have done this, then that could have happened;” these thoughts paralyze your momentum in life. It poisons your mind into thinking you cannot undo the wrong you have done. It poisons the mind into thinking you are never good enough.

Our thoughts can build us up or tear us down. How was your 2011 year? Are there thoughts of should haves, could haves, and if onlys that stymied you from potential growth? You are not alone in your thoughts. The venom that spreads is an illusion that we are alone; it is like a lion that cuts out the weakest animal.

How can you make 2012 a better year? It is not done by new resolutions. It is done by creating anti-venom to combat those negative and self-defeating thoughts. You already possess the power deep within to make this year better than the last.

First, recognize your past is gone. You cannot undo the past; you need to live in the present in such a way to positively affect your future. How? You may have a bad relationship that seems bound to stay the course. Do something different and unexpected to heal that relationship. Perhaps, you have mistaken their motives and actions by a venomous thought. Maybe, you have done the wrong, when you feel right, and that has caused you to lose focus. Sometimes venom has a way of causing us to become delusional in our thinking or lose our sight.

Second, understand what Christ spoke about being “wise as serpents and innocent as doves.” Think about the Garden of Eden and how the serpent was wise in his choice of words. It does not mean to trick others with words; it means you must carefully choose what you say to yourself. You can get caught up in the moment and forget the original thought that was spoken. God expressed to mankind not to eat of the tree and yet Eve, through her thoughts, added not to touch it. It is easy to add more thoughts and tell yourself a story.

Third, captivate those thoughts and make them obedient. If you feel you are not worthy, then captivate that thought. Investigate that thought with truth. Did you internalize someone else’s words, adding to your thoughts and creating false ideas? Take the time to step out of the forest and look at the facts.

Year 2012 can be a very good year. Think about it. Pray about it. Set up a few goals that are reachable. When crises hits, when thoughts want to derail you, take your time be like that dove and innocently process your thoughts. You can use these column headings to help out. Here is an example someone shared with me:


I feel     -- trapped, no way out.

My thought:  --  I felt trapped, no way out, like he is improving and I'll have to be stuck in this cage forever. He will always have some little thing that he is doing to make it better (even though it's always short term with no lasting impact), and I will always appear like the one who is unjustly and meanly walking away. Perhaps my thinking is delusional.

My Reaction:   -- To Withdraw

The Truth:  --  If I seek God and work towards bringing my life into alignment with Scripture, I do not need to worry about what other people, including my husband, might think of my actions. Christ sets me free, I am a child of God, not a slave, adopted and loved and He has provided people in my life that are not self-focused.


Working through your thoughts can help you come out of the forest and see the actual trees. You are a valuable person. This New Year 2012 be thoughtful and remember sometimes our situations are not always the worst. It is your venomous thoughts that paralyze your momentum while striving to do the best. Work through them with truth, be careful not to tell yourself a story and seize the day with good thoughts and actions. May this New 2012 Year be prosperous and productive! It is always good to reach out and to talk to someone.

By Faith (Forging Attitude In Trusting Him).

Scrooged -- A new carol!

Tis the season and some are like Scrooge, not caring and, in passing, offers a “ba humbug.” Others are like Tiny Tim, who through infirmities, can see a bright world with a glass full of surprises that keeps them entertained. Then there are those like Bob Cratchit, not letting the world implode, on who they are, replying, “Ah, oh thank you, sir! You’re so kind” even though they are mistreated or dealt a blow of life’s harshness.


You live in the world that every day is a carol. You sing praises for things that happen. You might sing insults at those who hurt you. You could sing in silence at a loss within your family or circle of friends. The impact of the world is like a nail driven into your heart and soul which can force you to be nailed down, feeling as though you cannot move. Other times you do not allow the nails to affect you and they go right through, but the holes leave an empty feeling inside.

The story “A Christmas Carol” is not for one time. It is a carol that sings into your life and pours out into the streets wherever you may go. Often we allow our human nature to distract and interfere, obsessing over past mistakes or we forget, not learning. The greatest sorrow in living in this evil world,is brought about more by apathy and negligence than hate.

You can have a dysfunctional family where untold secrets fill your closet with skeletons. You can hunker down and think no one cares or will know about the troubles you have seen. You can allow life to turn you into the Grinch or Scrooge. You may think Scrooge was a bad person, the villain. Not so, sadly, he was blinded by the environment he worked in and forgot how to live.

Scrooge’s nephew, Fred, refused to speak badly of Scrooge and invites his uncle for Christmas every year. Fred perseveres through all of Scrooge’s insults and spitefulness and in the end, plays a large redemptive role for Scrooge. Fred saw the hope and glimmer in his uncle that resides in each of us.

How do we let the Christmas Carol become the carol of our life?

1. Do not let your past get you down. Sure there might have been abuse, insults that rained down like acid, not receiving what you wanted, but it has made you into a beautiful, God-made creature. Do not hold grudges, it is like keeping the acid inside a bottle, doing more damage to the bottle than the external object. If they are trying to reach out to you, then meet them halfway and see what they bring into the relationship.

2. Build your present into something that can be used in the future. Volunteering at the Salvation Army yesterday was a humbling experience. Pushing the carts with groceries out to families’ cars and unloading them. When we serve others we build the present future. Who is to know how someone was impacted by the volunteers that intertwined in their lives? Even though it was just for a moment?

3. Live for the future. Today might be tough for you. Yet today sharpens your mind, increasing your wisdom and knowledge, so that you can build a better tomorrow.

The carol of this life is to provide genuine praise in recognizing the contributions of others. This is an investment which is not costly can bring a surprising return. Even in a disagreement, there is an opportunity for service. You are able to restore happiness in the relationship if you speak the truth in love to help the other person to learn and grow. Finally, you must practice forgiveness. Fred accepted Scrooge into his home. Fred did not need to know Scrooge had changed, he saw Scrooge in his home and that was enough to recognize change. Accept that change as a small baby step, until you are able to walk again in harmony with each other.

You are responsible for the “Carol” in your life. Serve others first; your thoughts precede your actions making the world a better place. Speak or act with a pure mind and happiness will follow you just as your shadow, which is unshakeable.

I wish you a Merry Christmas. May your carol be sung and may others see your light as you begin a new journey. Even though you may be a scrooge or someone else is a scrooge, it is amazing how forgiveness and an act of kindness can change things. It is time to sing a new carol and not be scrooged!

Merry Christmas!

By Faith (Forging Attitude in Trusting Him)

Porcupine People

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.

Is it worth the fighting over semantics? A tree is a tree, but put ornaments on it with lights and it becomes a Christmas tree. Shape the tree into a cradle and it could be a manger. Form two large boards from the tree and overlay them and it becomes a cross.

People argue over what offends them and by whom. Bottom line is respect. We have lost respect for ourselves and lost our identity. Respect is lost through rudeness, untrustworthiness and hypocritical thoughts and actions. We get offended over someone’s expressive freedom of speech.

No matter where we go, we will encounter people who are negative, who try to force or bind their opinions on others; they will oppose your ideas or simply decide not to like you based upon your looks, behavior, faults or successes. It is our emotions driving our survival instinct: react and attack to defend. There is an interesting fable about porcupines that comes to mind as I remember crawling into a cave in western Oklahoma where one person went up into a small hole and there was a porcupine’s nest. Porcupines can really stick it to you!

Fable of the Porcupine

It was the coldest winter ever – many animals died because of the cold. The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together, which provided cover and protection for all. Sadly, the quills of each one wounded their closest companions even though they provided warmth to each other. After awhile, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and soon began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice: Either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth. Wisely, they decided to be together.

They learned to live with the little wounds that were caused by the close relationship with their companion, but the most important part of it, was the heat that came from the others. This way they were able to survive.

Moral of the story:

The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but the best is when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire the other person’s good qualities.

How do we deal with semantics of what offends or doesn’t offend while dealing with what we feel are difficult people?

1. Holding a grudge against someone is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. When we react negatively, then we are creating our own pain within ourselves.

2. It is not about you; it is about them. When others initiate negativity it is a reflection of their inner state expressing externally. Sometimes it is like walking in front of a car that you did not see coming. Unhappy people, not recognizing their own pain and hurt, tend to attack.

3. Responding impulsively and irrationally can turn the conversation into a battle of “who is right.” It is better to listen, no matter how painful it may be, you might realize they are only venting and not actually attacking you.

4. Anger and negativity breed the same. When you respond to someone’s negativity in a negative manner there is no positive solution that will equal a good conversation. The invested energy of defending what you feel is right; forces anger and a digging in of the heels, when all you need is to listen and validate the other person’s feelings (sometimes when you do not agree with it). We cannot give or take at the same time. One has to be in submission to receive while the other gives and vice versa.

5. Freedom of speech and expression allows others to express their opinions. Right or wrong. When you suppress each other’s opinions you miss the opportunity for growth and learning.

You can choose peace or you can choose conflict. It is better to maintain objectivity and emotional control then to raise the porcupine’s defense of needles. When you rise to the occasion you might find yourself up against a prick. Listen to the other person, validate their feelings, use I feel and I understand, so that they feel they are important. You might be surprised in your relationships how easy it is to work together and live with one another’s “porcupineness.” You have to make a sacrifice in submission or subjection. People are willing to be humble and submissive if you are not forceful in making them subject to your will. You avail yourself to growth and learning when you keep an open mind. It does not mean you believe or condone the other’s actions.

By Faith (Forging Attitude In Trusting Him)

Fractured Rainbow

A dense fog covers the earth. The sun has hidden its face behind the thick milky wave clouds. The water gently brushing against the shore and you hear life beginning to awaken. Like a small child’s head peering from under the covers, the ray of sun touches your nose. The air is crisp and clean. A deep breath in, you hold it for a second or two, and a slow release calms the mind. Arms stretched out and your body stretches and pops like popcorn. It is not cold, not hot, the temperature is just right.


Stillness can sometimes be scary when you come from a world that is fast paced. Silence can seem awkward when you come from a world that is full of noise. What if it was transposed, could you handle it? What happens if relationships go awry?

Storms brewing and lightening brisk can change transform the calming moment you just experienced putting you on the roller coaster ride of your life. Now, instead of that completeness you felt this morning, you are left feeling incomplete. The firm foundation you stood on is now shaky.

That is how my week has been. Change is scary and difficult, especially when you are faced with a past that seems to pull the old triggers. When you go and stand on a mountain top it is a great feeling. You are able to see for miles, the trees, the lakes, the rivers, the rocks and the valleys.

Struggling comes with warps, twists, cranks, creaks and scary surprises. The fear of the unknown is most troubling. Struggling to understand why I am not able to obtain what I desire the most.

Much like swimming in deep water where the bottom is hidden in the dark depths. We can try to do it on our own, swimming through murky waters, but we tire before the goal is reached. Even the best athletes cannot swim for long periods of time. Though they are tough and fit, eventually hunger, the bashing of waves, strong currents or the coldness of the water will tire us into despair. With a goal set in mind we believe we can reach it with no help, but soon find ourselves struggling to keep ourselves afloat.

One struggle I have always had is with family members, something life deals to everyone. It is helpful to talk about the struggles, gaining open and honest feedback. Remember, in asking you need to be comfortable with the answer you receive, even if the outcome is not what you anticipated. Sometimes inertia has us stuck at the top of a staircase. Like a Slinky, we need momentum to get started and then may slide down the stairs with ease until an obstacle hinders our path, and we stop. Given another push, though, we start going once again.

Struggling pushes us outside our comfort zone and we squirm. We are eager to encourage others who struggle, making them comfortable. What if the Spirit of God is in the process of shaping them, though? We all need to wrestle with our struggles, moving beyond our comfort zone of weakness and into a state of strength conditioning. Suppose our struggles are the momentum needed to push us towards Christ? Should our prayer be to move us out of that struggle? Is Christ not in the struggle with us? What if that struggle is what we need in our life, even though we do not want it, but it is part of the preparation for our next valley encounter?

We all struggle, Christians or not. In Luke 17 there were 10 lepers that came to Christ; only one came back and thanked Christ. Why? The other nine were too involved in religion to maintain the relationship with Christ. They hurried to show themselves to the priest, lost in the murky waters. Yet, one came back, thanked Christ and developed that relationship, drawing closer to the goal, receiving the guidance and helping hand that was offered.

Are we too hurried as we struggle that we forget those around us and fail at having a relationship? Do we struggle because the focus is our own agenda and forget the basics of life? We miss out on relationships when we wrestle to get out of our struggles and want the desired brass ring. Sometimes we are so focused on the gift of deliverance that we forget the one who delivered us.

We struggle when we do not have what others have. Maybe, someone sings better than you. Maybe, someone was promoted over you or received a gift that helped them to get out of debt. Maybe, you struggle at someone winning and you lost. We struggle over the things we do not have and maybe, this is a blessing in disguise. If we had these things and talents that got us these things, then can we depend upon the One who delivers us?

We struggle and often pray do not give us more than can we handle, relegating God to our confines of life. We do not understand what great power is available to us through Christ. When our focus is off the waves of life, and in our humility we can cry out, “save me” then our struggles become more than just wading through the water. We use the struggles to step up and walk on water. Why do we struggle? We struggle to realize we are human and we need someone Higher than us to gain the momentum of strength to overcome the worst.

What if we went through a struggle and through a bad mistake in the future, that struggle helped us to overcome our mistake? Where is our focus? What we want or what He wants? Do we want more of our stuff or His blessings? The key to struggling is the door of relationships. When we have the open door of communication, then struggles are only tools in building bridges to better relationships. How will you know that your life struggles has prepared you to save someone else’s life that could be dying?

When we think what we deserve is not always the best. When we try to do it on our own without help, then our struggles will remain, until we realize, there is more to us. Relationships are the key and we have to look at each other’s true colors. Then the colors can be used to color a rainbow of promises making us stronger, through our struggles. It takes light and rain to create a rainbow. Sometimes we have to go through the storms in order to create that rainbow. Fractured rainbows are rainbows that struggle to shine through the storm and knowing the goal is at the end.

By Faith (Forging Attitude In Trusting Him)

Completed Grace - You're not incomplete

You feel helpless in the moment of your despair. You leave your debit card or your checkbook at home; you are standing there feeling incomplete as the checker has a grim look on his or her face. I have left my cash once and it is embarrassing. Ever feel inadequate because you overslept and you had ten people waiting on you to open the store and customers are driving by because they think you are closed? I have done that before and it felt humiliating. Felt like you needed that V-8 as you virtually slap yourself in the head, thinking you should not have said that? I have done that too, not waiting for the facts and only receiving them after the words had left my mouth.

The more we tend to focus on our human inadequacies, the easier it is to feel hopeless. How do we handle these events without feeling we are incomplete or hopeless? It is learning to accept being incomplete and allowing yourself to grow in grace.

You see Grace is not about God’s riches as Christ’s expense. Grace moves beyond someone’s expense to help them feel complete or restored to favor. Grace is about relationships. Grace is God giving us what we do not deserve and mercy is God not giving us what we do deserve. Grace does not permit us to live in the flesh. Grace dispenses the power to live in the spirit. Grace recognizes that is it God who works in you (Phil 2:13).

We grow in grace by growing in the knowledge of how to work with relationships. We have to empty out our thoughts that hold us back from the truth and allow God to work in order to find life that allows us to grow. Growing does not mean change. Growing means to add on. We don’t make or save ourselves and that is where we feel incomplete. Grace makes us complete because it is God that does the making and the saving.

In the Middle East, like Jordan, they have a unique way of building houses. On the outside of their houses are pieces of steel rooted into concrete called rebar. Rebar is part of the design of the house and as Americans, we think that the house is not completely finished; there is more to be added on. The rebar is the planning of future growth. When the family grows, such as a new marriage and soon to be children, the father will make room for this addition to his family. They are willing to feel incomplete, but always ready to be molded and shaped into something more.

We are all under construction. Humans constantly are growing their heart and minds as well as their relationships, whether we add or take away. However, what goes on inside of the human heart is important. Sometimes what we feel is not necessarily the right thought. The right thought doesn't mean we can feel. Processing thoughts and feelings in a mind blender is often messy with confusion. Feelings feed from thoughts. Thoughts feed into feelings. The key to feeling completed is to understand that we have the key ingredients... it’s the baking and testing that makes us feel incomplete. Be confident and accept yourself as being incomplete. It is what you are adding or taking away in your life that can keep you from feeling completed.

Feeling incomplete does not mean you are not worthy. It means you are still growing. Disregard the negative thought of not having it all together. We are still under construction and your life is your testimony to others as to how a Supreme Being is working and building, an ongoing process. However, are you willing to grow in grace? Grace means Growing Relationships A Cherishing Experience.

What a neat picture for us: those who are willing to live with “incomplete” today because their desire is to be prepared to grow for tomorrow. We are in such a hurry to be done. We hate the idea of anyone thinking that we don’t have it all together. In reality, we are under construction.

Our lives are testaments to the truth that God is at work within us. It is a building process that will take a lifetime. Being willing and prepared to grow into the next stage is essential. Offering grace to others means you are willing to grow that relationship that can be cherished. It is about doing the right thing regardless of the wrong. It is not about subjection, but more of submission in a healthy thinking way. You are worthy. You are complete. Grow in grace. Allow the Son-shine warm you as you peak from under the covers to a new day, even when you feel incomplete.

Grace (growing relationships a cherishing experience) allows you to feel complete in order to help another person grow; a new relationship blossoms when grace is involved. Instead of the checker having a grim face, a polite interfacing of grace would be to smile and say here is $5.00 for your trouble. I will be right back to collect what I owe. Have a blessed day. The grim is now turned into laughter and happiness all because you chose grace. You do not feel incomplete, but because you added someone into your human error: you made grace complete.

By Faith (Forging Attitude In Trusting Him)

Dream Catcher

"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for." 

(Epicurus Greek philosopher, BC 341-270)

Do you wonder who you are? Ever traced back your heritage and see where your ancestors come from? Maybe, you can find that you are related to Walt Disney, Abraham Lincoln or famous royalty. I enjoy tracing my heritage and have found in my heritage: the Irish, Scottish, Welsh, Choctaw and Cherokee heritage. Living in Oklahoma I am fascinated by my Native American Culture.

Our past heritage may make our physical makeup, but it does not have to define who we are. I enjoyed the movie, A Knights Tale. William (a squire) was told by his father if you believe it you can change the stars. William, through hardship, was able to change his stars from being a squire to a knight. How do we change our stars? It does not matter what other people think or say, it matters what you desire and want to accomplish. Ever feel like giving up? You keep trying and you just cannot seem to get it just right?

Do not ignore the hardships, the times you do not feel like smiling because things, good or bad, happen for a reason. Every breath and every heart beat brings fresh air and a new opportunity to make a difference in your life and others. The key is being in control of your destiny and having the opportunity to influence someone else. It is difficult to keep the positive when the ship seems to be sinking on your dreams.

Native Americans have adapted to dream catchers. Dream catchers will filter out the bad dreams and only good thought are able to enter into our minds. The bad dreams are caught and when the sun rises they are perished. Dream-catchers are to be hung over the bed as a charm to protect children from nightmares. The Native Americans believe that the dream-catcher can change a person’s dream. Only the good dreams can filter through and slide down the feathers (Owl-for wisdom (female) and Eagle-for courage (male) onto the sleeping, while the bad dreams would stay in the net till daylight.

We need to be a dream catcher for others. Provide someone that ray of hope in knowing they can do it when they feel they can’t. Do not let setbacks hinder you from your full potential. Some of us have emerged from the most painful circumstances with strong insights about who we are and what we want. Our mistakes? Necessary. Our frustrations, failures, and sometimes stumbling attempts at growth and progress? Necessary too. Each step of the way, we learn. We went through exactly the experiences we need to, to become who we are today. Each step of the way, we progressed. Is our past a mistake? No. The only mistake we can make is mistaking that for the truth. Today, God, help me let go of negative thoughts I may be harboring about my past circumstances or relationships. I can accept, with gratitude, all that has brought me to today.

View the video below and see how Jason McElwain does not allow his condition to stop him from being a wide source of inspiration. You do not need let your physical condition stop you from playing in life. Allow the dream to become a reality.

I believe in you. Have hope in yourself, knowing there is a Father that wants to see with hope. Be a dream catcher and filter out the negativity and aspire for something better.This is my letter to you to be inspired to know someone believes in your abilities. Write a letter or email to someone and help them to be a dream catcher. You will never know the impact that someone is waiting on from you to make that difference for them.

By Faith (Forging Attitude In Trusting Him)

Excellent Video of how someone with Autism can overcome! So can you. It is all about heart and attitude!

The Truth of the Matter....

Anyone who doesn't take truth seriously in small matters cannot be trusted in large ones either.~ Albert Einstein

It is hard to swallow the truth sometimes. It goes against our human nature to be faced with truth. Why? I believe it is hard to face the truth when it goes against our belief or when we have to make a change. It is the facing of change that is the crux that crucifies the sin or the false beliefs we carry. It is the sandpaper that rubs out the sharp edges we created from telling ourselves the lies.

Some people blame God for the death of a love one. A drunk that makes a bad choice in not stopping with one drink goes out, and "accidentally" kills someone. People then question how God allows this to happen by asking "Why God?" It is easy to blame something we do not see than to take responsibility for our actions. Both families are impacted by one bad choice, but the families still can have the option of making better choices.

It is hard to change something you are accustomed to doing for so long. Truth shines the light into a world of darkness that is filled with lost hope. We want to cling onto something as if it was the better choice and use it as a weapon of truth. Shooting random words to bring someone down, or exposing a past fault that was already forgiven.  Defining truth can be difficult in recognizing.

How do I define truth? An illustration of truth is like the ball-against-the-wall. Every time I define truth by throwing, it redefines itself as it comes back, and as we try to move forward it sometimes can prevent us from reaching our goal. The wall becomes our obstacle from truly defining truth. Philosophy clouds the issue of truth that sometimes nothing can be known for sure. The problem lies within the application of truth and not within truth itself. This philosophy can be empty and worldly (Col. 2:8).

If we can dissect truth and set it separately from the integrating cultural and personal preferences, then we must be on familiar terms with understanding there is something that transcends culture and individual proclivity. This is a challenge to our beliefs, and in essence; it points to a higher power. Truth is not self-contradictory and there is no deception in valid truth. Meaning, it can be true with someone being deceptive, but the deception itself is not truth.

We all have problems in handling the truth. There is a misapplication to truth. Leonardo da Vinci once said, "Beyond a doubt the truth bears the same relation to falsehood as light to darkness." What did our American Forefathers mean by, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights?” The truth is buried in an ideal. Therefore, what is relevant? History repeats itself, and we can learn that when mankind inserts themselves in a way to dictate (by nature his or her rights as the one who capriciously determines who gets what). Without the higher purpose connection, it is more likely human nature kicks in and proceeds to use tunnel vision being driven by it’s all about me mind-set.

Truth is misaligned. When someone dies people will say, “That was God’s will.” I disagree, and that is a lie when consoling someone. No one knows the will of God; except what is written, which also can be misaligned. God’s will is evident he wants mankind to be saved. It is true. He knows when we will die, but not his plan for man to die. It was man’s choice to choose. Our greatest grandparents decided that fate for us (Adam and Eve). Therefore, the truth is that mankind gets all out of whack when we tell ourselves - a story.

We begin to tell ourselves a story and lies to justify or to make ourselves feel better. Media knows this all too well. To have a better sex life, take this pill. Well, what if you do not know how to properly show love to your spouse. Stress plays a big impact on how we focus our attention through sharing our love with someone. The lie is to seek pleasure first or a quick fix to resolve our problem at hand.

Women want to know they feel safe, secure, respected, wanted and cherished. Men want to feel valued and respected. Women want communication, and men want the physical level of being intimate. A “happy” pill is not going to fix a marriage. We tell ourselves a story based upon our perception and not on the facts that are before us.

Here is how telling a story can go:

John’s marriage ended after 18 years and he was forced to live alone, facing a divorce he didn't want. He spent many evenings trying to soothe his pain with alcohol. He was so unhappy that he wanted to die because he just couldn't see any other way out of his unhappy circumstances.

Finally, John decided to see a psychotherapist for help. Once in therapy, he gradually began to see that this life didn't have to be over. He started to see God again as the Giver of good, despite his unhappy circumstances.

He explained it this way: One day while I sat groveling in my sorrows, I listened to the words I had been telling myself, things like Oh, what's the use? I'm all alone. Nobody loves me or cares about me. Nobody wants to be with me. I'm rejected and useless... Story may seem lame, but it is where we live. When we tell ourselves a story or a lie, it is lame when we have not gathered all the facts. Slow to speak and quick to listen and when we approach others without the assumption and with all the facts, we can get to a crucial conversation and sharing the truth.

Truth means Taking Responsibility Understanding Trusting Honesty (Hudgins). Where are the facts in the story? We have to take away the false story: instead of, “ I am a failure, and I am no good," “I am so lonely and miserable," I am separated from family and there is no more joy for me” we need to search for being honest within ourselves. Fact: marriage failed Truth: You are deeply loved by God, and therefore, you are important. Fact: you are alone Truth: you are never alone when you have God and other family members Fact: you are separated Truth: you can still function even when you hurt.

To get to the truth in your life and from someone’s story you must understand your story from your facts. Step back and once you have the facts stop the story and have a crucial conversation with the truth. Stop the lie and the false hope and replace it with truth and facts and believe that you are loved by a Creator, and he has given you talents to use and are infinitely loved and valued by him.

Your relationship with others will blossom and grow. Get to the facts first because constant misbelieve is what can perpetuate and fuel the fire of mistrust, anger and resentment. Repeat the truth with facts that can generate health and peace even if the truth can hurt. It is almost impossible to battle disbelief and stories inside of you. Journal and find the facts to get to the truth it's redefining that story. Believe you are a good person with much value. We are the pebble in a pond and when we enter someone’s life, we cause a ripple through others that makes a difference. Once you know truth, it changes the way you look at life. If you need help feel free to contact me.

By Faith (Forging Attitude In Trusting Him)

I am offended: Are you offended?

The weather-vein on a steeple, though made of iron, would soon be broken by the storm-wind if it… did not understand the noble art of turning to every wind.

I apologize for my readers for taking so long in posting a new blog. Several ideas have been running across my mind and want to give it due justice. One idea is the thought of being offended. What does it mean when you are offended or someone offends you?

What people say about others usually says far more about that person than really about you or anyone else they are talking about. People complain they are offended. The crime for giving an offense is taken to the one that has been offended. A multicultural society (the melting pot) needs insensitivity training (thicker skin) rather than sensitivity (thin skin) training in etiquette when speaking or listening. The offensive nature of the offense in free societies is taking a turn, and government is becoming more comfortable in regulating its citizens of free speech, thoughts and jokes and this is not diversity.

Some will even find this blog to be offensive because it challenges our thoughts. When we become offended, we need to stop and look at what are we being offended about. Often times it is our misunderstanding of what we have not learned, and it challenges our thinking. When we become offended then we put labels on the offense, so we can recognize it later and know not to deal with whatever it was we felt offended about.

For example, atheists and Christians can be an example of groups who find themselves easily offended. Atheists can be offended by what Christians do and vice versa. Now, I am not siding with the atheists and I am not siding with the Christians (bear with me as I explain this point of view and I will not apologize if this offends you because you took the step in reading this blog). Atheists rationalize their thoughts and become offended by Ten Commandments on public property. Christians can take an offense by viewing it as a threatening to take a religious symbol out of public view. Who is right or wrong? Neither is right nor wrong.

Each has a valid point and view and advantage point to consider. Instead of both groups faulting each other as being offensive, why not look at common ground? Is the Ten Commandments offensive? No; then what is offensive? It is the attitude in which one presents their side of the argument. No one is looking at the other’s side in viewing an understanding. Instead each group digs in heels in pushing back and claims we are offended. Would it not be best to look at it as challenging each other thoughts? Has society become lazy in not wanting to think, but allowing easier thinking to avail by not wanting to deal with it? It does not make sense to dig in and fight about it. It takes more time and effort to fight than it is to come to a common ground.

Christians should be careful in public display by asking what purpose it serves in displaying the Ten Commandments. Atheists should be careful by asking what harm it does to me by viewing literature. Instead, one person from each group can go awry and ruin it for the entire group and therefore, a negative taste, thoughts and ideas become warheads that are ready to cause world war three without considering all the facts. Common ground: Ten Commandments serve as a moral reminder that law keeps order. What if we did not have you will not commit murder in our own laws? Then that would give you a right to kill everyone. Instead, it challenges our thinking.

John Stuart Mill wrote a book entitled, “On Liberty” and provides a unique perspective on opinions and offenses. His approach: “never take silence to be taken as a wrong opinion because it is depriving ourselves of being challenged by our beliefs we take to be true. If we do not challenge our beliefs, we become stale and holding them becomes a matter of routine. There could always be someone who finds something offensive. If by “offense," we mean something to be found annoying, then there’s always something to be offensive rather than annoying.” It is often those opinions are part of the majority and rely on invective in order to silence their interlocutors. Therefore, it is best to quit accusing others and opinions of being offensive and engage in each other's' good and find common ground.

We are all in the game of life that we have become either a filter or a projection of each other’s life’s experiences and created our own built-in reactions. Therefore, this is not to take emotion or feelings out of the picture and dehumanize life by alleviating our intimacy for relationship, rather a call to focus that every time we are offended we can actually be misunderstanding. This allows the room to breathe from the detached reactions of people around us. Think about how often you react to a statement and becoming offended rather than seeing that the other might actually not have a complete understanding, or they are hurt? Their hurt caused them to lash out, which might find us to be offended. Maybe you got the birdie? Ever stop thinking that you unintentionally cut someone off? You offended them and now you are offended by the birdie? See the cycle?

Dig deep into yourself and ask what is it that really you find offensive? Does it challenge your thinking? Our inherent worth being not concluded by what is said, but by rather what is being done or believed. We can walk away without having to force our opinions and ideas that we are a good and worthy person. The challenge is finding a place in this world to be content regardless of what other people do, say, think or believe. The art of not being offended is a lost skill, and it may take a lifetime to practice. It is a kept secret to living a happy life.

Feel offended for a challenging thought? I hope so! Let’s not become offended, but rather challenge our core beliefs and find an understanding moment without judgment. Then, can the lion and the lamb truly come together without being offended by each other’s differences. We coexist to protect the innocent and the innocent to teach us not to be so prideful. Bottom line, question deeply about what offends you.
We have to get past our views and humble ourselves to see the other side. It's amazing to get off the defense and stand in awe that what we once was offended at becomes and understanding that we are all human beings. Much more can be accomplished if we can grow from our misunderstanding, let down our pride, open our minds and less finger pointing then there would be less offenses, less forgivness and more understanding and appreciation for life.

Offenses does not look for the true meaning. Being offended stunts our growth and does not allow us to see our short commings. Becoming offended has its own hidden agenda that often backfires when common ground is met. Think about it! If I am offended and you are offended where does our offense get us if we are both on the defense?

By Faith (Forging Attitude In Trusting Him)

W(ar) A(gainst) L(iving) L(ife)- Tearing down a W.A.L.L.

We all have defense mechanisms. When we do not want to deal with something or someone, we tend to put up an invisible wall. However, what does that wall look like? There are different types of walls. However, A WALL is a W(ar) A(gainst) L(iving) L(ife). Walls do not want us to face the reality of the other side. It is a mindset that hampers growth.

As individuals we tend to put up a wall to wage war against what we feel we do not have time to face. Some walls are made not to see what is on the other side or another person’s point of view. Some walls are hardened layers of shattered emotions. Some walls are made up of feelings that we do not want to face. Walls are made to surround ourselves to help us feel safe. Walls keep the noise out. Walls are a defense mechanism to keep unwanted intruders. Walls are a self-preservation mechanism that is formed from hurtful events or embarrassing situations that stop you from allowing yourself to recall the event or acknowledge the hurt.

We were made to live life. Not hide from it. There are other barriers, we can build that will not hamper us from living life. Respect is one barrier. Stating you respect yourself and hold others accountable is one way of creating a barrier that will not result in having to put up a wall.

Setting healthy boundaries and being consistent will allow you to live a life that you define. Putting up walls against others, allows others to control your life by putting you in a box. We are called to be free and to live life. Learning to set healthy boundaries and respecting yourself is liberating versus living in a box full of wonder, fear, anger, guilt, or regrets.

A wall does not allow us to view either side. Assumptions are made from both sides. A wall creates more problems because one will have to maintain that wall. Instead of putting up a wall, why not set healthy boundaries? Unhealthy boundaries are dysfunctional just like walls. When we establish clear boundaries, we define who we are in relation to others. However, as individual you must be able to identify and respect ourselves through our needs, feelings, and opinions or our efforts will be like putting up a wall or a fence without knowing the property line.

There are two types of boundaries. Physical allows us to define who can touch, who can come close or how someone can touch us. The other boundary is an emotional boundary of where our feelings begin and end. Healthy boundaries can ask who takes responsibility. Do we take responsibility for our feelings and needs, and allow others to do the same? Together these boundaries define how we interact with others and how they can interact with us.

Walls are unhealthy boundaries because one does not allow you to live life. Anne Katherine has a few good tips I would like to share in how to set boundaries in her book: Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin.

• Clearly identify the need to set your boundary without anger, justifying, rationalizing or apologizing and do it respectfully.
• You are only responsible for communicating that boundary. A wall does not allow you to see what is coming next. A boundary allows you to see and if your friendship does not allow you to maintain that respect, and then do you need friends who disrespect your boundaries?
•  A boundary takes practice and do not let anger, anxiety or low self-esteem build a wall and prevent you from taking care of yourself. 
• When you set your boundaries, expect to be tested. Be firm and remember your behavior must be in alignment with your boundaries you are setting. You cannot establish your boundary if your message is not clear and respectful. 
• Setting healthy boundaries allows your true self to emerge. You do not have to hide behind a wall that others have fashioned for you. 

Learning to respond and not reacting will help keep those boundaries in place. Create boundaries that will protect your relationship and not a wall that will divide. Walls will not ensure you will not get hurt again. Potential relationships are not worth putting through various tests as ropes to climb your wall. Most will fail and if they are over the wall the relationship will fail because the boundaries of respect for them and yourself were not made. Work on becoming a strong person and set clear boundaries.

You do not have to live behind and wage War Against Living Life. Move out from under the brick of hurts, wounded pasts, fears and unmet expectations. Live a life of praise and allow that life to collapse a wall that has kept you from living (Joshua 6:20).

By Faith (Forging Attitude In Trusting Him)

Butterfly Kisses - Change

Seasons change and with them, they bring a renewed sense of hope. Even though death comes as an unwelcome guest in our life, we cope with the struggles we face. If nothing ever changed in our lives, then our lives would be black and white and no butterflies to appreciate the undaunting changes. We may feel unappreciated by others when we go through a period of change.

Often times these changes do not get the recognition it deserves. A caterpillar, for instance, does all the work of wrapping itself into the cocoon, but the beauty is recognized in the butterfly. We are only as strong as our weakest moment that allows ourselves to be. Weakness is not a sign of failure. Weakness is the cocoon for strength.

Caterpillars appear weak because they crawl, but transformed into something strong for the eyes to behold in wonder they are given wings. We soar when we overcome our weaknesses. We become clothed in beauty through our struggles. Count them as a blessing and not as a sign of failure. Happiness is like a butterfly. If you pursue the butterfly, it is just beyond your grasp, however, sit and be patient, they will gently land on you.

Struggles, suffering and change are the unwelcome death of an old habit. Storms can frighten us when we do not understand them. The rain in the storms produces the growth for the beauty for us to enjoy. When we look simply at the small scale of the storm and learn to dance, we can truly appreciate the rainbow afterwards. We all fall down, but at the end of the day all is well.

Overcoming the obstacle and changing it to wings to overcome allows room for growth. Sometimes the blind can see more than those that can see. It is the lame that can teach us to walk. It is how we use our struggles to overcome the pain. Using pain constructively can build the wings to soar. We need butterfly kisses to know the choice is ours not to view weakness as a sign of failure, but an opportunity to learn happiness in the midst of change.

Several reasons why we resist a “butterfly kiss” (change):

•  Often our purpose is not made clear
•  Fear of failure
•  Present situation seems satisfactory.

What to expect when in a cocoon of change:

•  Expect resistance
•  Expect the unknown end results
•  Expect to pace yourself

How to work through the cocoon:

•  Track your thoughts
•  Measure your results
•  Communicate positive thoughts

Caterpillars always seem to hug the ground and work through. Butterflies see the bigger picture and fly above the past situation. Getting over fear of change is the hardest. Dennis O’Grady states there are five reasons that hamper change:

1. Fear of the unknown – the unspoken message “you will lose control”

2. Fear of failure – there is a chance to fail
3. Fear of commitment – Commitment forces us to answer tough questions
4. Fear of disapproval – Fear of rejection if others do not like the new change
5. Fear of success – fear of new demands

The Butterfly effect:

1. Identify the change which can realistically be altered.
2. Brainstorm and write out pros and cons
3. Evaluate the impact and forces of changeability
4. Develop strategies to remove distractions and striving to win/win solutions
5. Ask questions that begin with what and not why: the why provides room for excuses, and the what provides the drive to reach your goal.

The key to flying with your new wings:

• Remember attitude and nothing kills change faster than an attitude of resistance. 
• Balance pleasing yourself with pleasing others. 
• Those who proficient at change do not reject good advice just to prove they are not controlled by those who give it. 
• Meet conflict head on
• Keep setting goals
• Communicate honestly with yourself and others

Remember there is no change in precontemplation. In contemplation, there is recognition to change. Prepare your changing thoughts and act upon them. After the change always maintain. Then become that butterfly and supply that butterfly kiss that others will not forget.

By Faith (Forging Attitude In Trusting Him)

A Whole New World

The sun is bright. You definitely can feel it this past summer when record temperatures hit 110 degree mark for 30 plus days. The sun can blind you from seeing what is in front of you. Snow as white as it is can cause snow blindness. I have an inherited trait that when the sun is bright, my left eye closes shut, and it is a reminder; I need to put my sunglasses on.


In this hustle and bustle of life, we go through full force because we are able to see. The blind are able to see through extraordinary senses, but their world is slow, and they are able to view things differently than those who can see. Often times it is those who can see that will take advantage of their vision. However, it is the blind that use their blindness to their advantage and others.

When we are blinded by what is about me, we forget the world that is around us. Close your eyes and relax in a dark room. Pick up on the sounds and hone it what they could be. Without our sight, it is difficult to tell what is making the noise. Those who are blind can tell what that noise might be.

We are driving on the highway, and we become upset when someone cuts us off. We walk in a store and someone who is a cashier is talking to every customer making the line long. Maybe a co-worker or your boss yell at you and you are perplexed, and you may even yell back. A waiter or waitress is slow in getting your food, and you wonder why service is poor, and you leave a bad tip.

Are these irritants to your life? Sometimes we have to take our own perception glasses off and begin to look at the whole world from a different way. That person who cut you off was in a hurry to the hospital to say his last goodbye to his Veteran son that was wounded in action. The cashier who is backing up the long line was searching for someone who would listen because they wanted to check out of life. The co-worker or boss who yelled just was served with papers for a divorce and learned they were going to court. The waiter or waitress is slow because they are in shock that they learned they are dying from cancer, and they have a month to live.

Sometimes we may see people as irritants. How often do you stop and look past the situation and truly considered what is happening in life? How many times have you acted irrationally, and maybe someone said you that were being rude, or someone backed away, and you wondered why (not because of bad breathe)?

We are all humans living in the same world. As the world becomes a society that is built on individualism of what is mine, what can make me better, what is in it for me, the society starts to crumble. People lose hope. Like in the movie Spiderman, there are always two sides to a coin and it all depends upon how we flip that side and spend it that day.

Slow down and see those who are hurting. Is it being an irritant to you because you are in a hurry to do what you want to do? I am not asking to make excuses for someone’s behavior and their actions. Sometimes it is who they are and how they represent themselves. Slow down in the hurry of life and become blind to your own thoughts and look for those who are hurting. Who knows it maybe their life and yours you are saving?

By Faith (Forging Attitude In Trusting Him)

The Facts of Life from UHK

Education or book smarts might be useful in life. However, application to that book knowledge is even
beneficial. The best education that one can ever receive is from the University of Hard Knocks. This is an idiomatic phrase to mean something painful in life that can have a negative impact, and it was coined by George Ade in 1912 who was an American columnist.


I have not graduated and still going through school. Here are some notes that I took from the University:

1. Be patient don’t get bored with being a child. Learn to appreciate life through the eyes of a child and you will see more than you did as an adult. Once you become an adult you wish you were a child again. – have the Peter Pan syndrome, but with responsibility of enjoying life.

2. Find time to play and relax. Do not work hard to make money that it compromises your health and when you compromise your health, you’re spending your money to regain it. It becomes a vicious cycle of an unhealthy life.

3. It is okay to have a child’s mind of being anxious about the future, but do not forget you live in the present. When you forget about the present, you are only living in the past, and you cannot move to the future.

4. Do not live life with invincibility and think you can be a super hero and not die. When death comes do not live in fear as though you have never lived.

5. Realize you cannot make anyone love them, just like the movie Aladdin because all you can do is let yourselves be loved.

6. When you look at the mirror realize that is who you see and not to compare your reflection to anyone else. Sometimes what we see on the outside is not really how it is on the inside. Reflect yourself off the truth and align yourself in the mirror of His word and realize your path can be straight compared to others.

7. Some depression can be avoided by learning to accept forgiveness, forgiving and practicing forgiveness.

8. Learn to say thoughtful words to those around you because it uplifts those, use words in a different way can take many years to heal those you have hurt.

9. Count your blessings. Often times it is not what we have the most, but what we need the most.

10. Enjoy the extra set of eyes and not take it as criticism, but that another person looking at the same thing as you are, can have a different outlook than you can.

11. One cannot do it alone, no matter how much you rationalize yourself and your failures away.

12. Finally, there is a higher being than just ourselves that has more interest in us than we do in our own self.

Have an undestanding it is not in man's ways to guide his own steps, but it is the Creators. If we can keep a positive outlook on life the better off we will be in applying the certificates of the UHK.
By Faith (Forging Attitude In Trusting Him)

The Silence - Emotional Abuse?

Simon and Garfunkel wrote a song in the 1960’s called the Sound of Silence. On an interview with Terry Gross of National Public Radio, Simon explained how he wrote this song. It was when he was coming out of college and when he wrote it, he said, “It wasn't something that I was experiencing at some deep, profound level - nobody's listening to me, nobody's listening to anyone - it was a post-adolescent angst, but it had some level of truth to it, and it resonated with millions of people”


Give honor to where honor is due. How often do we go by people in stores, restaurants, all kinds of standing lines, schools, work and even in our worship assemblies do we not say a word. Silence is also used as an emotional abuse to those whom we wish not to talk to. Silence is like cancer that takes a person to ultimate death.

Silent treatment is the worst kind of humiliating attack that is placed upon its victims. Spouses use silent treatment to gain control over the situation or to prove who is right or wrong. Anger’s punch is given as a blow to those who do not deserve it.

Growing up I remember my parents giving the silent treatment to each other. Sometimes they would go three days without speaking a word to each other. Not only does silent treatment affect those who provide and receive it, but hit also hits innocent bystanders. The spray of silent bullets penetrates into the hearts of those who are most volatile to its attacks.

Now that I am older and have tried to make amends with my parents the silent treatment is still used as a weapon of choice. The latest was this summer during a family reunion. My grandmother turned 88 and is not in the best of health. My parents with my sister did not say a word to me or my family, except my two children.

I write this to help others to realize the damaging effects that the silent treatment can do to another person. Silence is not the best solution in resolving conflict; especially, when one has already tried to reach out to make amends and to restart the relationship. Silent treatment is all about control, and it is emotionally abusive, and even though it doesn’t leave physical scars, there are emotional scars.

How do you know you are in a relationship where there could be the potential of silence abuse? The following are excuses used by those who are abusers of the silent treatment:

1. I needed to have some space

2. I thought you needed space

3. I was feeling depressed and didn’t want you to be a part of it.

4. I thought we need a cooling off period.

5. I don’t want to fight and needed time away.

6. You told me to leave you alone.

In today’s society, silent treatment is coming more and more prevalent with technology. Society is becoming a society of individuals instead of collective families that are healthy connecting each day. Remember, sometimes silent treatment occurs when the abuser does not like what you do or approved by their standards. When they are shown something that disagrees with them then they punish you by the silent treatment and make you feel as though you are the leper.

Finally, how do you deal with silent treatment? One has to realize you cannot reason with someone who is this way. There is a “no win” solution and often times substituting other friends or family members that will love you unconditionally will replace those who treat you in this manner.

It is not easy and again silent treatment is an emotional abuse and a death in order to manipulate you into doing or agreeing with them. When someone uses a cooling-off period, then hold them accountable as to a date and time and when it expires then you ask them. If they do not reply or respond, then you know you are in an abusive relationship. If you are living or friends with someone who you feel is providing that silent treatment, and you need help and advice, feel free to contact me.
By Faith (Forging Attitude In Trusting Him)

One Leg to Another: Leaving A Heartfelt Legacy

Where does life begin? Simply, this has been a debate in history over life. No one can argue when life can end. Life can begin when a seed is impregnated with its missing half and together a life cell grows and multiplies. The absence of growth is death. In death, there is no life.


It is all in a memory that life can hold onto. Our minds are like hard drives that are programmed uniquely in a computer system. One slight bump, one virus, one wrong move can wipe out the hard drive, and memories are gone forever.

What do we do to preserve that special memory? Do you spend quality time with your family? Do you gather around the dinner table and interact without TV, cell phones and communicate with each other? Understanding how each member of the family’s day went? What about special events and pictures taken?

We may become upset because of life’s blows, but what do we do with that blow? Do we stay knocked down or do we get up and leave a legacy worth to others to follow? We are all unique and specially and wonderfully made. Will your actions bring a “peace” of light to an individual’s life that is hurting?

Life is short not to hold onto a memory that is sweet like a butterfly. When life is taken the negative pain can become darkness and snuff out your own life. Ever thought about living for others? Giving them that heartbeat of thankfulness that they are not the only one’s going through the same pain as you?

Taylor Storch is a 13-year old whose physical life ended in tragedy. Her parents help leave a legacy of her life and provided a heartfelt thankfulness to provide life for someone else. How do you make your last breathe to become the life for someone else?

As you view this video.. think how have you left your legacy for others. Are you making a difference through forgiveness and love not only to your family, but those you are in contact with daily? You are not alone in this world. Provide a simple hello to create that leg race of leaving a legacy so that your heartbeat of a memory can really keep someone else alive.

If you feel moved…. Email, call, write a letter to that person and let them know their heart beat today has filled your memory that will beat a life time. Life is too short. It is time for us to step up and leave a legacy  of love, forgiveness, giving, and heartfelt.

In Memory of Taylor Storch

For More info about Taylor or how to be an organ donor:

Taylor's Gift Website



May we all be touched by the One that gave it all for all to live! Our chains have been broken through Him and by Him. It is by faith (Forging Attitude In Trusting Him)

Connect-the-Dots

Growing up did you enjoy the little activity books as you were traveling with your grandparents? My grandmother went and bought an activity book and inside the book were pages of fun things to do. Coloring pages, search words, find the hidden objects and my favorite was connect-the-dots. Each page you would follow the dot from number 1 to 2, to 3 to 4 and so forth, and it made a picture from the lines you connected with the dots. Sometimes you could color what you connected.

Everyone is unique and so is life. The picture within this blog is a connect-the-dot picture. Now we can normally think we can just go from 1 then 2, 3, 4 and so on, but this picture is unique and comes with a set of instructions (I will list at the end of the blog). Assumptions and expectations and can make a mess out of life.

Save the picture and reopen it in paint. Now try connecting the dots as you think they should go. In the end, we just make a mess out of the picture. There is no picture but a tangled mess of lines.

Ever felt this way in your relationships? Drawing conclusions as you think they should be connected? It is easier to draw than it is to wait for the picture to develop in your mind and then reproduce accordingly. I admire artists who can just see the image and reproduce their thoughts of the image on a blank canvas.

When we do not follow the instructions we lose out and make a mess out of our life. In relationships, we can think we are going to get hurt or do not want to invest because we think we will be like the picture and turn out to be a mess. The key to any relationship is setting healthy boundaries. Setting boundaries are the keys to a healthy lifestyle. One can assume where those lines are supposed to be drawn, but until you receive the instructions do not start drawing just yet. 

Let the person know where your boundaries are and hold yourself and them accountable for those boundaries. Then begin that relationship with them and providing detailed information about you that you wish to share. When communication and instructions are followed you have a beautiful connect-the-dot picture.

Be careful not to provide too much information or not enough that can mislead that person into a direction they should not go. Try connecting those dots. Before you began connecting-the-dots on this picture did you study it? Did you notice there are extra numbers or missing numbers? Did you create the image already?

When we begin to try to do it on our own we will add too much or not enough in our life. We make a mess or we cannot reach the goal we set out for ourselves. Before beginning on any endeavor or relationship, sit back, meditate, reflect, and listen for the moment. Gather all the facts before assuming or drawing to conclusions.

When you make a mistake, you may not erase it completely, but you can reconnect. Reconnect with a lost love one so the picture can be complete. Is someone having a bad day at work? Reconnect with them with a simple hello and smile. Are you in line waiting to be checked out? Connect the dots with life and draw a picture of fun, laughter, enjoyment and most of all a complete picture, drawing the right lines of conclusions creating a picture-perfect relationship.

Are you ready to start connecting? If you need help connecting to your life and other relationships then connect with me via email and let’s draw together. Below are the instructions to complete this unique connect-the-dot picture:

Start at 5 Draw to: 53, 52, 51 Move to 19 Draw to 18, 11 Move to 57 Draw to 58, 68

Move to 3 Draw to 52 Move to 8 Draw to 4 Move to 87 Draw to 89

Move to 53 Draw to 55, 56, 57, 13, 11, 10, 9, 8, 24, 21, 19, 44, 42, 41, 21

Move to: 2 Draw to: 4, 6, 7, 5, 3, 1, 2, 26, 31, 34, 33, 36, 37, 32, 29, 30, 48, 51, 81, 74, 72, 71, 106,

105, 104, 103, 101, 97, 90, 89, 65, 59, 66, 88, 87, 79, 68, 66, 67

Move to 81 Draw to 78, 108, 107, 86, 90

By Faith (Forging Attitude In Trusting Him)