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Thursday, March 26, 2015

Tornadic Changes of Life -- How to Embrace: Change



The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails. —William Arthur Ward

It is in the air. Soft cool warm breeze and the sun shining its warmth, like a virtual blanket making you feel safe. Flowers and trees are blooming. The earth dawns its wonderful colorful robe and shedding the deadness of slumber. Spring is here. There are signs buzzing around you to awaken you to a new day. It is a renewal of the spirit to enjoy something new. It plays back to my memories of running through the fields of Texas in the bluebonnets. Spring is the hope that says life does exist and it’s time for a refreshing change from being drift asleep under the blankets of white snow. 

All highways were blocked today.  I had to divert my way through city streets and housing to stay on track for my appointment. I had to see my patient and his family by 5pm for their family therapy session. A major storm was coming. Lightening was striking above me and rain drops started to fall around me. It occurred to me that although the storm was causing me to divert from my normal routine and for me to make it on time, I had to change.

Arriving to the office it was down pouring. My cell phone was going off with storm related texts to take cover, like I hit the lotto. It could have been an anxious moment, but I was focused on task in meeting with the family. Therapy started on time, even though there were many changes that had to be made. During therapy the tornado sirens were going off and other patients were in the hallways as we sat in the office. Occasionally, we monitored the radar on the computer screen and we continued with therapy. 

Change can be scary. However, you change your clothes, your shoes, your purses, your looks and even diapers. Granted changing diapers can be scary because you never know if it will be a smelly blow out. I’ve changed a few of those diapers when my children were babies. You may have anxiety because of the idea of change. You may have anxiety because you are forced to change due to death or even by destruction of weather events. 

There are some who want to change their habits. Some will go to the extent of losing weight. Great! However, they desire the comfort food of soft drinks, cakes and they say they eat in moderation. However, they slowly gain the weight back due to lack of exercise and the resistance to change. Then they are unhappy with how they look and repeat the cycle of losing weight again. They ask for people to help them, but without the change in what they put inside them, it will not help change the overall appearance. Low self-esteem kicks in and it affects those around them. People who truly care about them are pushed away as the ones who are critical and judgmental. 

Helping others to change does not work unless the one receiving the help is willing to change. It starts with an open mind. Change moves us outside our comfort box. There are some of you reading this message and understand of holding onto the familiarity and resist change because it strengthens the soul and mind. The thought of exercise may associate with the aches and pains and therefore we become resistant because it is the path to least resistance. 

We are unable to control every characteristic of our lives and change, like the four seasons, cannot be stopped from happening. We embrace spring, summer, fall and sometimes winter, but it is how we respond to change that will significantly influence our overall experiences in our life. 

In the bible (Genesis 17) there is a story about Abraham and Sarah. God promised them a son (Isaac) would be born to them. “Abraham and Sarah were already very old, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing”. Abraham and Sarah were both resistant to change. Abraham laughed at the change, but Sarah laughed and lied that she laughed about it. God’s promises were steadfast and they had their son. Change was made and because their acceptance to change, thousands of years later our Savior of the world was born. 

A change in cars, houses, relationships, jobs and our personal self, can help or hurt us. How can we accept change? It’s easy to “change” a dollar bill into four quarters, but change in our life can be challenging. Change does result in an exercise of the mind. It is work. 

First, do not be complacent and not wanting to change because you are custom to the familiarity. When you are resistant to change then suffering occurs to what is already happening in your life. Instead of manipulating the situation and praying things would be different, go with the flow and adapt to the change. 

Second, do mediation and self-reflect. Prayer helps prepare you for the changes already taking place in your life. Write down the pros and cons. Evaluate and seek out the truth if the change you are experiencing can be an easy transition or write out a plan to learn how to go around those obstacles you are facing. 

Finally, stay focused on the final outcome. A major event was taking place that could have hindered me, caused anxiety, but I remained focused. In the gospels there was a paralytic man at the Pool of Bethsaida. He was there 30 plus years waiting to be healed. Yet, he was the only man out of all the miracles that Jesus asked, “Do you want to be healed.” Sometimes we need to be asked that question. Jesus knew the answer, but sometimes we have to be awakened to reality of yes, I want to be healed. He lost focus as to his purpose and intent. Sure, there were changes happening all around him and he became complacent. 

Change is never easy because we don’t want to do things that are different from “normal”. I always say there is nothing normal except the setting on the dryer. The primary key to accepting and going through any type of change is through prayer.

Prayer allows the ability to express your thoughts and praying to the Creator to allow doors of opportunities to happen or to help you in the changes, which are already taking place in your life. The only way to improve your life is to force yourself to undergo the challenge to do things differently than what you are accustomed to. Change promotes growth. 

Many times, the only way to improve our lives is to force ourselves to undergo difficult change. Develop the courage to endure the change because it increases your knowledge and then you gain wisdom through the experience. Reflect back through the time of change to make sure you’re not developing unhealthy patterns through poor relationships. It appears when one is accustomed to being in a nonfunctional relationship to remain in it because it is the “norm”. You become the paralytic in the situation even though you want to make the change. 

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.” – Mary Anne Radmacher

Make the change and develop a healthy pattern of creating better self-esteem. Unwrap yourself from the “wintery” cocoon.  Embrace yourself through your struggle as you emerge and “spring” forth with energy by embracing the change. Never “fall” back to old unhealthy patterns. Soon, like “summer”, you can enjoy the sunshine of surviving your change. Wisdom grows by making the change by accepting the four seasons of your life.  Stay focused and don’t let the storms frighten you, while you adapt to overcoming the obstacles that may challenge your thinking. 

By Faith change is “F” orging  “A”ttitude “I”n “T”rusting “H”im. 

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