The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to
change; the realist adjusts the sails. —William Arthur Ward
It is in the air. Soft cool warm breeze and the sun shining
its warmth, like a virtual blanket making you feel safe. Flowers and trees are
blooming. The earth dawns its wonderful colorful robe and shedding the
deadness of slumber. Spring is here. There are signs buzzing around you to
awaken you to a new day. It is a renewal of the spirit to enjoy something new. It plays back to my memories of running through the fields of Texas in the
bluebonnets. Spring is the hope that says life does exist and it’s time for a
refreshing change from being drift asleep under the blankets of white snow.
All highways were blocked today. I had to divert my way through city streets
and housing to stay on track for my appointment. I had to see my patient and
his family by 5pm for their family therapy session. A major storm was coming.
Lightening was striking above me and rain drops started to fall around me. It occurred
to me that although the storm was causing me to divert from my normal routine
and for me to make it on time, I had to change.
Arriving to the office it was down pouring. My cell phone
was going off with storm related texts to take cover, like I hit the lotto. It
could have been an anxious moment, but I was focused on task in meeting with
the family. Therapy started on time, even though there were many changes that
had to be made. During therapy the tornado sirens were going off and other
patients were in the hallways as we sat in the office. Occasionally, we monitored
the radar on the computer screen and we continued with therapy.
Change can be scary. However, you change your clothes, your
shoes, your purses, your looks and even diapers. Granted changing diapers can
be scary because you never know if it will be a smelly blow out. I’ve changed a
few of those diapers when my children were babies. You may have anxiety because
of the idea of change. You may have anxiety because you are forced to change
due to death or even by destruction of weather events.
There are some who want to change their habits. Some will go
to the extent of losing weight. Great! However, they desire the comfort food of
soft drinks, cakes and they say they eat in moderation. However, they slowly gain
the weight back due to lack of exercise and the resistance to change. Then they
are unhappy with how they look and repeat the cycle of losing weight again.
They ask for people to help them, but without the change in what they put
inside them, it will not help change the overall appearance. Low self-esteem
kicks in and it affects those around them. People who truly care about them are
pushed away as the ones who are critical and judgmental.
Helping others to change does not work unless the one
receiving the help is willing to change. It starts with an open mind. Change
moves us outside our comfort box. There are some of you reading this message
and understand of holding onto the familiarity and resist change because it
strengthens the soul and mind. The thought of exercise may associate with the
aches and pains and therefore we become resistant because it is the path to
least resistance.
We are unable to control every characteristic of our lives
and change, like the four seasons, cannot be stopped from happening. We embrace
spring, summer, fall and sometimes winter, but it is how we respond to change
that will significantly influence our overall experiences in our life.
In the bible (Genesis 17) there is a story about Abraham and
Sarah. God promised them a son (Isaac) would be born to them. “Abraham and
Sarah were already very old, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing”. Abraham
and Sarah were both resistant to change. Abraham laughed at the change, but Sarah
laughed and lied that she laughed about it. God’s promises were steadfast and
they had their son. Change was made and because their acceptance to change,
thousands of years later our Savior of the world was born.
A change in cars, houses, relationships, jobs and our personal self,
can help or hurt us. How can we accept change? It’s easy to “change” a dollar
bill into four quarters, but change in our life can be challenging. Change does
result in an exercise of the mind. It is work.
First, do not be complacent and not wanting to change
because you are custom to the familiarity. When you are resistant to change then
suffering occurs to what is already happening in your life. Instead of
manipulating the situation and praying things would be different, go with the
flow and adapt to the change.
Second, do mediation and self-reflect. Prayer helps prepare
you for the changes already taking place in your life. Write down the pros and
cons. Evaluate and seek out the truth if the change you are experiencing can be
an easy transition or write out a plan to learn how to go around those
obstacles you are facing.
Finally, stay focused on the final outcome. A major event
was taking place that could have hindered me, caused anxiety, but I remained
focused. In the gospels there was a paralytic man at the Pool of Bethsaida. He
was there 30 plus years waiting to be healed. Yet, he was the only man out of
all the miracles that Jesus asked, “Do you want to be healed.” Sometimes we
need to be asked that question. Jesus knew the answer, but sometimes we have to
be awakened to reality of yes, I want to be healed. He lost focus as to his
purpose and intent. Sure, there were changes happening all around him and he
became complacent.
Change is never easy because we don’t want to do things that
are different from “normal”. I always say there is nothing normal except the
setting on the dryer. The primary key to accepting and going through any type
of change is through prayer.
Prayer allows the ability to express your thoughts
and praying to the Creator to allow doors of opportunities to happen or to help
you in the changes, which are already taking place in your life. The only way to improve your life is to force yourself to
undergo the challenge to do things differently than what you are accustomed to.
Change promotes growth.
Many times, the only way to improve our lives is to force
ourselves to undergo difficult change. Develop the courage to endure the change
because it increases your knowledge and then you gain wisdom through the
experience. Reflect back through the time of change to make sure you’re not
developing unhealthy patterns through poor relationships. It appears when one
is accustomed to being in a nonfunctional relationship to remain in it because
it is the “norm”. You become the paralytic in the situation even though you
want to make the change.
“Courage
doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the
day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.” – Mary Anne Radmacher
Make the change and develop a healthy pattern of creating
better self-esteem. Unwrap yourself from the “wintery” cocoon. Embrace yourself through your struggle as you
emerge and “spring” forth with energy by embracing the change. Never “fall”
back to old unhealthy patterns. Soon, like “summer”, you can enjoy the sunshine
of surviving your change. Wisdom grows by making the change by accepting the
four seasons of your life. Stay focused
and don’t let the storms frighten you, while you adapt to overcoming the
obstacles that may challenge your thinking.
By Faith change is “F” orging “A”ttitude “I”n “T”rusting “H”im.
